Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 7

7. Fear of exposure

The little finger on the active hand designates sexuality and the various aspects which are divinely related. Essentially this is a force which is current also. We have, in this active virtue, an ability to combine with another distinctly different power, and to creatively manifest something yet more different again a'further. So although placed on the smallest of digits, there is a talent here for receiving more than one personal force here, and a requisite also for being open to receive these forces. 

Some individuals are secretive by nature and quite fearful of having their 'true selves' revealed. Some, by choice, do not seek to combine on any level - physical or spiritual - and do not feel prepared for the management and interchange of vitalities as are necessary in the description above. 

In part of course, these interchanges occur regardless. Everything we do, even in sitting in the quiet, brings life into us and we to it and there is a sharing, a combining, and something else resulting from that activity. However, for those who have a fear of being exposed, the individual carries shame, a shame which is generally put upon them from one major event earlier on, and lastingly inhibits them from a real and meaningful intercourse.

Whatever this shame began from, it had the kernel of this person feeling less than worthy. Somewhere at sometime the forces which rejoice in becoming very important to others and to the expectant cosmos, become inverted into a tangle of confusion. 

Fortunately the source of the shame - the event itself or simply the original feeling - can be found very easily by the man or woman who chooses to intelligently reflect upon this subject. Problems are never far away from us and always begging to be heard - which is very good indeed, should we wish to heal them and move on!
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 6

6. Fear of helplessness (lack of power in the world)

Obedience, by choice, is the theme for the corresponding finger on the passive hand (known as the wedding ring finger) and is the foci point for this fear - being of helplessness and lack of power.

This fear is not about a lacking of strength or opportunity so much as it is about 'giving way' to something or someone we do not wish to give in to. We are unwilling, yet feel helpless in our situation fraught with compromise.

Frequently our sense of self, our 'I am', is contested to reveal or reinvent its identity. This is largely a very creative process. It is very beautiful and inspirational to even the higher beings that enjoy immensely, watching the aspiring being of Man create himself or herself out from a former person.

This individual task is especial to that individual. Although we can thank wholeheartedly the many folk who have contributed to our making, it is nonetheless a singular employment which is private and ongoing regardless. 

Whenever obedience is granted begrudgingly, the person giving way is walking in the direction of this fear of helplessness full speed. It is of course moreover a reality they are experiencing in the here and now, but also an aggravation for the future aspect of mind as well. 

There is no love transpiring in obligation, and no profit from those who give without really desiring to give in the first place. For the individual who persistently 'dogs' around the orders of others there will be a repeated fear of helplessness haunting the in between hours of their 'duties'. 

This also applies very much to the debilitating attitude of spiritual aspirants who believe their future investments should be just a chore. Without a true willingness of self, the self can never be invested and the acts are but superficial.

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 5

5. Fear of impotence (lack of life vitality)

Not surprisingly the parent force and designated finger here, is the third finger on the active hand - representing strength, both sustained and active, summoned by the will.

There is an occult secret to strength which very few know - we will never lack its true vitality, ever. For the elderly who know what it is to drive the unwilling limbs - how once their movements were effortless, yet now there appears to be little strength to lift a spoon - this strength which once was there and taken for granted has not left them, but has translated into a far greater strength of being, more than before, to live as they do, to move what they move. Not just physical strength, but the strength behind the effort. This is there. It has not gone, it has not depleted, it has increased. 

There is however, a fear that lives in every man of being impotent - sexually, physically, mentally and spiritually - fear of having nothing there when the time calls him to act, no strength to sustain all life itself. For Man is but Little God, and he knows in himself what a responsibility this is. 

Yet strength itself can be fearful. We can go to this gate and very easily frighten ourselves. Power is fearsome too. Ironically those who experience episodes of knowing great strength and power succumb to the fear of losing it, but truly it is the power they themselves have invoked that charges themselves most cruelly. 

The tired and the worn know of the inner strength, and have not the vitality to spare any more. But those who are ravenous for strength may err into a passion for it, seeking and admiring it for the sake of itself, rather than its duties. This will then become a fear.

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 4

4. Fear of annihilation (losing ego), Fear of dissolving (losing Arterial Self)

The forces attributed to this fear work around the middle finger of the passive hand - the one which designates withdrawal and the power to desist.

As one can imagine, there are times when we need to cooperate in a way which was not previously designated. We require to change and to leave that which substantially had been the pattern previously for us to engage ourselves in. 

There are many occasions other than in dying where we are in need of invoking this power. Dissolution resists stagnant coagulation, it is a principle which frees possibility, whilst also helping us to do simple tasks, for instance, like withdraw back into a heavenly contemplation after a concentrated focus in worldly things.

The same process does also give ourselves a kind of reprieve out from ourselves for a time. Many individuals find tensions within their own natures and thinking (particularly those who are conscientious) and seek out ways and means to alleviate their pressures felt within by learning how to dissipate their own ego temporarily. This does not mean to say that the ego is dissolved into nothingness, but it can be weakened considerably - depending on the means chosen by the individual who seeks a respite from the intensities the egoic activity creates. 

Ordinarily there are many healthy virtues which provoke this force and experience of self dilution. Any interaction which expresses and experiences a loving interest in a person or activity will automatically give one the sensation (and reality) of diluting oneself, withdrawing from the personality, lifting up and out from the lesser ego and expanding out into a joyful infinity, with natural and healthy means. 

Lesser provocations might be doing activities which absorb our attention away from ourselves in an excited way (shopping, gambling, game playing, movie watching, physical exercise etc.); these we can 'lose ourselves' quite easily in, without the benefits of the involvements implied with love.

Thirdly to this comes play-acting and deceit. Here an individual assumes the role and persona of someone they are not, and for a time (just by their acting) becomes something other than the truth of who they are. This is a dangerous practice and it is not uncommon for actors to suicide having been so distraught by the fear of annihilation they have set upon themselves, finalizing what they began little by little to do. 

Every time we deceive another person or lie to them about who we really are, we are experiencing a dissolving of ego in the process. This can be pleasurable, in the sense that there is a release (particularly for the strong-willed) in the escape of identity, whilst also it is the 'easy' way out, rather than committing to the truth and kindly presenting that, instead of the falsehood. 

For the liar there will be a very real fear of unraveling within their self, of a lack of 'I am', simply because they have given away their self every time they discounted it with a feeble presentation of something other than their true feelings. 

It is a dangerous concession therefore to negate oneself in such a way, and very easy to understand how the tension of forces work in upon themselves, alarming the individual that something has gone horribly wrong, in that they are losing sight of themselves with every pretending.
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 3

3. Fear of being frozen (paralytic - not being able to execute the will)

The forces implicated here are the very ones which are working for peace and containment - the same forces which have the power to appease and curtail the ferocity of will as it is brought into life and executed by ourselves. 

It is understandable therefore that we might well become frightened at the prospect of this element of peace containing us to the point of inactivity. The very presence of this influence (described as being apparent in the middle finger of the active hand) seems contrary to the overall nature of the active hand. It suggests an inactivity, doesn't it? Yet oddly enough, peace is anything but that. Peace is not inactivity at all, but a higher occurrence determining the action. When conditions come to Peace it is not a static non-occurrence, there is in fact an infilling of beings and virtue, of possibilities and heavenly grace. Peace is busy in the unseen, but also in the quiet. Peace allows a saturation of such heavenly force to bless what it is that we would have be. 

To the individual who cannot yet perceive the unseen reason, there can be a mistaken sense in the soul that peace is nonsense. This individual is often provoked by their fear which follows to be ever busy and never at rest, consequently tiring also those around them. They may suffer night-frights or nightmares, chronic restlessness and undue speech. They are very fearful of having a period of inactivity set upon them. 

Moreover, there can be a willfulness which has in the past gone unchecked. If we review the work on the Rosary* we can see that the greater value of this virtue is in relation to the active will. The problem therefore (that the individual suffers who holds the fear of being frozen) is one where there has been little effort made to contain and hold back the wills and wants of self to any measure.

*This list, unlike the present, alternates between the dominant and passive hands.
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 2

2. Fear of Father God's condemnation

The forces which this fear relates to, emanate out through the index finger of the passive hand. Here we find the influences characterizing Our Father as the Divine Will of utter existence - Quiescent but ever present (and we do mean ever present) hidden, yet always apparent, presiding over all. 

So in a display of yet one more divine paradox, we have the finger equal to that of our own egoic willing showing aptitude, yet the one which is the same but on the passive hand with seemingly less direction, represents the governing forces for the two. 

This fear provokes devastating doubts about the self-worth of the individual experiencing this possibility. In the paragraphs prior to this it was mentioned about the individual who lays judgment upon another from the assumed position of knowing the mind and mercy of Our Father. The tenet 'judge not lest ye be judged' literally works on many levels - not the least of which in respect to our own operating powers within. 

Through our arterial connection secure to Father God and ourselves, we have the ability to refer to Him constantly in prayer and inner referral. We may go to Him for consolation or for direction, when our own wills are undecided or wanting. Yet we cannot go to Him on behalf of another. This is why we pray 'Thy Will be Done'. The very nanosecond we have assumed to become Him and endeavored to judge with our own will believing this to be His, we are gently but powerfully invoking consequences. 

The severe man who abides by an authoritarian view often inflicts himself with the same severity, but worse. The individual who chooses judgment before mercy in perspective as well as in act, will assuredly suffer the enormous shadow of doubt, pretending to be the disapproving Father. So once again we can see the confusion between the usefulness and purpose given to those who:

a) consult Father God for direction and discriminate what is correct and right according to this consultation;

and

 b) the unholy practice of determining this for others without being privy to their arterial referral or choice in the practice.

 

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds- Retrograde Grava- 2nd May 2002

THERE are ten dark fears, ten dark places, ten dark spheres, a man can visit. They are:

1. Fear of dislocation and disharmony
2. Fear of Father God's condemnation
3. Fear of being frozen
4. Fear of annihilation & a fear of dissolving
5. Fear of impotence
6. Fear of helplessness
7. Fear of exposure
8. Fear of the dark
9. Fear of losing favor
10. Fear of misfortune

The fears as noted above may be directly related to the emanating forces which transpire around the finger tips and are also resolved within and without the experience of the individual. 

These forces within their primary condition are beneficent and holy. We have named them in a former paper (see 'Working the Rosary') and shall revisit them today in respect to the alarming aspects which may afflict both saint and sinner alike with a horrible and tenacious terror when experienced badly.

One of the reasons found for the fact that such fears can wash over the soul and aggrieve the ego to great distraction, lies in the power of these ten forces experienced within all of us, that they are intrinsic and essential, infilling, determining and enabling to our beings.

Firstly we shall endeavor to capitulate something of how each fear may impact us:

1. Fear of dislocation and disharmony (fear of madness) - the demons of internal chaos.

The index finger of the active hand of will (usually the right hand) concentrates at the tip and outpours the predominating emanation concerning the egoic activity and determining as given to us through Christ. This force and expression of force is particular to our own individuality and relevant to worldly life whilst here. Characteristically the active hand itself is responsive to the World and our activities employed without, whilst the passive hand is fundamental to the more esoteric aspects within our latent natures and consciousness. 

This first finger indicating that of our own will's effort within the world, is completely reliant upon the greater good Nature of Christ in His most Harmonious of Aspects, that we may determine our own ways and become ourselves through His Being. We self determine and self define, we make what we will of our own identities, through His Power and through His Talents of Combining. Within His own System is the Homogeny of the All and yet also the prospectus of individuality given to each man and woman within. 

We can learn from our experiences of fear and subsequent panic, that the fear itself is often characterized by that feeling that something is not quite right. This is more than an 'o oh' feeling initially. If we contemplate the root of this dread (which we seldom care to do when struck by that terrifying fear) we shall find that there are two occurrences happening at the same time. One is that our will has taken us to a place it cannot negotiate out from. It may want to depart but cannot. It has already seen the dreaded Hippogryph and cannot forget its face. The consciousness is experiencing a lack of control.

Secondly we know that something is wrong. Something does not fit and more than that it is horribly clashing upon itself. Although very crudely explained, we can begin to see that the holiest of forces which work for us and motivate much around us, can be perceived unduly in such a way that this clashing and friction of power within them begins something of a perpetual rhythm that feels difficult to escape from. 

In this instance - in the fear of dislocation and disharmony - we may seek to maintain the appearance of harmony creatively or deceptively, to allay our internal fears experienced within the selfhood. Out from the fear we may respond in such a way which is manipulative or controlling, trying to exercise the will of our own over external circumstances to achieve the harmony and order we need the propriety of. This also can be the root cause of the fear, because it is in the nature and substance of fears that they do build upon themselves. So in this example we find that the individual is invoking the forces of the will to employ the Christly qualities and virtues of harmony, but is going about it the wrong way, thus aggravating the cause of the fear. 

The complicated issue at hand (excuse the pun) here is that whilst we are given certain powers and authorship, we are not at license to mimic the powers that gave them. For example: we may discern and judge from our own point of view, but it is unlawful to maintain that this is the point of view of Father God or Christ. We may speculate, but cannot say with definite exactness that all points by us can be considered. 

Equally so here, it is honorable to strive for harmony and cohesiveness within our own lives and where they are implicated. But once we begin to try to coerce or force another within their sphere, their will, their world to conform to our ideas of peace, then the internal conflict of forces will make themselves apparent to us. 

Small toddlers often upheave their surroundings, delighting in a seeming chaos upon the ethers, around their environment - things will get tossed and spilt, scattered and disassembled; yet in actuality within their own internal being the individual is at their most harmonious and 'well ordered' times of life. Within their being, their nature, they are consistent and not conflicted. What is, is. The love pours out from their being and there is a common joy to life around them. 

This observation is not made as a point for us to attempt infanthood again. Yet we can relieve some of the tensions of adulthood and sainthood, when we look back to our own histories previous to our egoic awakening, and understand that it is not our responsibility to make all things conform, or to keep up the appearances of harmony when things are difficult. When Christ harmonizes He does so with the insights required to understand that which He affects. He does not address mere appearances, but is there in the heart of each and all. We cannot be Him, though we can strive to do as He would do. Yet even He does not affect us by His Will, but rather by His Love. 

This force we are working with is one which is both of Him and of our own empowering. It is absolutely understandable that we should yearn for and require a measure of harmony and permanence within our own lives. However for those who are fearful of losing such, are fearful because it is not exhibited within their internal workings, the reason is because they are trying for it externally with their wills. 

This can also provoke a fear of madness as well. It is not so much to say that the candidate will suffer the madness of which they are frightened, but is experiencing the torsion created by the very 'quest for perfection' they are attempting.