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32. The state of dis-grace.

Paradoxically there is a condition which befalls a man prior to him receiving Grace - and that comes with a pitiable form of 'emptying out', being so forlorn that Grace does come to supplicate him.

The Grace infills the dis-graced - the true nature of Divine Love is to go where needed and where received. We know this pre-grace condition, and are thusly so moved to greater piety and sympathy because of it.
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31. The sadness of great beauty.

There was a deflation mentioned above in regards to our perceiving things which are 'not right' or unbeautiful, and yet there is also a certain sadness experienced by the sensitive individual when beauty is struck within them and then goes. 

When on special occasion, a most wonderful perfection does reign, when everything else dies back in comparison, when we see through privileged eyes and begin to sense our own smallness (yet splendor), there is an emptiness which does follow, that that very knowing and experience will somehow be gone and we will be without it. 

Poets understand this melancholy, and the spiritual man who continually defers to Father God knows it well, because much of his prayer life slips quickly in and out and away from the paradise he longs for. As many heartbeats as there are in a day we can experience this loss of beauty we just came to.

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30. Elemental servitude. 

There is a part of our nature which we rely upon that utilizes an etheric memory for repetition (the constant re-building of our bodies for example, or the referencing of certain instinctual or pneumatic knowledge), and the binding continuity brought about in the local astrality, which is also given to a systemic repetition. Whilst also within our own thoughts, habits and desires, there is an elemental component which assists as a foot servant with the relaying of repetitive endorsement. 

We relate to this obeisance of repeated action, in the larger context of cycles, to the smaller as known by the servitude of the elemental beings. However, for that portion of us which begs to break into new person, new future, new finding, new life, for themselves and for the world, there is a heaviness experienced within this realm of continuum also. Quite easily men can fall into the service of the very elemental thought-forms that first served them - obsessive, addictive behaviors are example to this (e.g. gambling, diet, kleptomania, over-worry etc.).

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 29. Perceiving the discrepancies between men's willing and that of the Greater Will. 

The forces of floundering or immature egos reflect disquiet within the frame of one's own willing. There is a great gift of power and creativity bestowed upon the soul of Man, however it is yet to be begun at large. The conscientious man continually reflects upon the Higher Will, and subjects himself to all manner of inquiry. During this clarifying time he is sorely aware of those who do not enter into this process of conferring and is likewise troubled.

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 28. The ecology of wills.

There are difficulties encountered (not necessarily spoken or manifest) negotiating the wills of others with that of our own. The Christian soul is driven by good works and to charity and is often blighted by the tensions caused by the differing wills surrounding. 

Deferring to the Greater Will relieves this and then however manifests the tension by … 29

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 27. We sense other folk's difficulties compressing memories and reconciling truths and times - those alive and deceased; as the thought-atmosphere is imbued with these struggles also.

And so there exists a dialogue which is constantly reviewing the past with the present and contesting identity. We come to sense this dialogue in a variety of ways. It takes a very strong presence of ego to simply stand still and be silent amongst much of this. Furthermore, there are hopes and projections as well! 

The condition of Alzheimer's is very much given over to the reality of this memory-realm, yet receptive to the confusion of many at the one time, to the point where the self-consciousness is relinquished.

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26. The presence of that which bears historical record of ourselves from a time of identity from which we have since departed.

There becomes an internal struggle/tension with the discrepancies as they are portrayed in comparison with who we are today. This may refer to the akashic, the talismanic or merely the representational as in a photograph or another's memory recollection. 

A sensitive man may also have difficulties with his own memories as they do not 'match up' with the person he has grown to be or become to prefer. There is a painfulness in perceiving ourselves to be 'less than', or alternatively there is the simple problem of the 'ill-fitting' as described above. 

Since the consciousness may only be in the one place at the one time, it is easily confused when presented (even to self and even in the carrying of self) with multifarious images of what once were. It has little difficulties with 'could-bes' however. For although the 'could-be' excites the imagination, it needs to have a foothold in reality before being taken seriously. If the 'could-be' is a spiritually foreseeable reality then it is perceived as the epitome of 'fitting' - not being merely desirable, but the actual reality upon which all else is measured (from which we are largely disheartened by). 

When we glimpse our true spiritual natures and futures they are known to have been something in place, given out a very long time ago. The difficulties we have with our own memories or those of others of ourselves, lies in the seeming incoherence and unrelatedness of both our modern-day selves and our spiritual natures as well.

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25. The presence of astral poisons largely contributed by the thought forms as given out, or general atmosphere as contaminated by individuals who we share proximity with, which are ill-tempered, emanating more of the same.

Similar to the protest and affright which is experienced by our physical constitution when it is exposed to poison, so too our astral bodies are sensitive to the magnetic discrepancies between peaceable natured individuals and disruptive ones. Astral toxicity is something we often equate with specters after death, and yet the voracity, the nature, the force, the toxicity, the activity of a specter begins with a live person and just continues on after death. The live person is far more difficult to cope with than the disempowered disinspirited ghoul! 

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