We have a question from one of our dear friends about an episode which happened when she was a child.... There was a time of great distress for her around the passing of her father, when at the funeral lunch she had been told to leave (because of her age) and go to her neighbor’s residence to be cared for. What transpired was that sometime after the upset she actually found herself sitting in the gutter of a nearby street - with no recollection as to where she had been or how she had got there. No other person could help her with this, except to say that it seemed to be three hours or so which had lapsed. Her question to you is: Can you help explain what did happen?
FIRSTLY we may reassure all such people who have had similar experiences of memory deficit that there shall be due occasion prior to death and most certainly after death, whereupon they may review the happenings unknown which will then become most plain.
This is a comfort to the many that have vacant spaces yet to be filled; and it may also be pointed out that whilst there are great differences between unconsciousness and semi-consciousness, all men in their conscious receptivity are lacking somewhat in their observation and retention. There requires that time indeed, whereupon they may explore the events with a fuller aspect of ingenuity, and so one cannot expect to have such a defined 'grip' on the happenings around them at any given time, let alone with a reliable continuity.
This is not to suggest either that all men are mad. Fortunately this is not the case at all; there are measures of reality established concurrently and the more obvious truths are received en masse. However this is leading into an interesting realm when we try to understand how it is that men may comprehend events in the first place. By what tools do they interpret the happenings of the world?
To define our daily waking consciousness we may begin by agreeing that it does differ from the consciousness which has moved on and out of the body during sleep. During nightration, when the body rests without the will of the man to guide it, the animal of the man is somewhat divorced from the governing soul which inhabits his body. Just as you may tie your mare or stallion to a post, we depart our bodies nightly with but a slender unseverable rein, exchanging our charge for the wings suited to Heaven, returning refreshed with feed for our physical body, which is knitted together with all of the necessary cosmic forces which comprise the physical substance life-bestowed.
Consciousness cannot be in two places at the one time. It is where it is. It may certainly be projected out from a thinking man, and the man is therefore transported to that place or that person which he has cast his intentions (or love); however, it may not be here and there, as it is the foot-runner to the soul, going first, presenting first, at all times. There should be great divisions made within our nature if it were to be otherwise. If creatures or men, could manufacture a secondary consciousness then it should happen that they would be two beings and not coherent or consistent within their own whole.
The way that this is tolerated is quite wonderful. We are afforded the abilities to step outside of our own selves. In wakefulness we may negate the responsibilities of our earthly representation of ego and will (in the instance of a stroke say for example or in the briefer sense the departure through meditation or in active combining) and forego the necessity to drive ourselves with complete detail.
The expression 'to be lost in thought' denotes that occurrence when the man himself has directed his attentiveness into a realm where he shall leave his ego or powers of willing behind temporarily. He doesn't as a consequence, keel over in a swoon from such a process (the point being that should this occur there still remains the capacity for reorder and finding the way back); however he frequents realms of thought and beyond, in a way that cannot be fully retained at that time.
We can find an immediate experience of this when we are caught by such beauty which inspires us to leave ourselves in the very transaction of contrast. When we are witness to an ambient sunrise or sunset we are almost incapable of comprehending the occurrence with an active consciousness. The event does not relate to our own selves, in the sense that we have not willed it to be so. We have willed that we be there for the happening, this is true, but once there, as we stand we may find that the colors in the clouds take us out from ourselves, not with split consciousness, but with all the vagueness of one who is experiencing a marvel without needing interaction of self. Much joy comes from this.
We can know joy, because of that 'selflessness', given in the meaning just described. You may understand that we are enhanced by such happenings, for this is not injurious in any way to a man, he becomes forgetful of self only temporarily. However several things shall ensue from this condition which we shall describe.
In the first instance, in relation to the sunrise example the man has ceased with a tension inside. Maintaining constant consciousness in active willing - deciding and thinking, planning and involvements - wakeful consciousness may be depleting to the man as it requires self exertion to be maintained. When we exert our selves (even in opinion) we are responsible for that effect which we give out into the world; and reasonably we may assume that until such a time in which we are adept at carrying ourselves and our beings with the profile of an angel and all of the positive forces of Christ, then we may assume for the time being that we (understandably) are given to error and misjudgments constantly. We are liable to cause more havoc and consume more than we offer; we become karmicly entangled over and over with a seemingly impossible store of mistakes to make answer for.
Our true self-consciousness is seldom rarefied, being somewhat enmeshed within a substitute mind, self-made and repetitive, rather than responsive in the minute, in the present, in the very here and now. A sharper consciousness would be painful and we all settle for the buffer-zone thinking, relatively speaking. The point being expressed here is that the individual is taxed by the repeated exertions of self, and he may find a respite when he can invest his attention elsewhere.
This holds good of course for the immediate also. The here and now is an eternal, and when we find sense of the immediate, of the here and now, we thereby experience the duration of the eternal. We find God in that - not in the minutes, but in the minute, not in the divisions which identify, but in the underlying spirit shared.
Now the fact that we can commune in such a way is remarkable; and that we are not rent apart in the process. In the story as given from a little girl in sad circumstance, it may be said that this was a time whereby her sense of self was exchanged for her longing for her father. Some individuals are so placed with empathetic longings that they may well go in consciousness apart from their own egos, and in this instance, it too must have been the will of the father that this be so. Because as explained, it was not a matter of will for the child once there. What kept her apart from herself would have been her father himself, who as it is to be remembered, was very much present at that special time. Her longing coupled with his love and longing to, drew her out from herself to where he could be found.
Usually it would be that the father would have gone to the child (or whoever), and he would flit in and out of their consciousness that they would be distracted by his presence. However here we have a little child who had traded her ego-consciousness fully. Her own will forced her self to repel away from her ego and be with the soul in consciousness that she chose to be with. A child can manage this best for their consciousness and projected imaginings are empathetic with the world rather than taken with their self's self - this being but an extreme example of a very sensitive individual whose love went beyond herself.
The memory of what transpired shall return and become a treasured keepsake for the soul who now feels the need to understand. We often try to recapture such realities that do not translate into the reasoning because they cannot translate into the reasoning, however the soul's perspective and comprehension is there, in which the account will be found, and therefore such experiences are not lost but rather recovered with merriment and great meaning. When this recovery does happen (particularly after death) our consciousnesses has thereby adapted everything in full knowledge. This is why our faith may bring us privileges after death that cannot be realized in life. All of our findings are exalted. The sunrise which saturated us then, is seen in full glory and comprehended in totality and it is magnificent.
Remarkably, the principle as described before applies right here, and it can be said that there is a greater will which receives us within the sunrise that we may go to it. The invitation is there, the consciousness meets with our own and we commune with a mutual affection. The sun we may lovingly cast ourselves out into, at dawn or at twilight, does truly know us. We are received. And our joy so known, though oft forgotten in clarity, inspires rapture in the infinite, to be realized in our being.