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Saturday, August 7, 2010

Children & Discord- 12th July 1995

Question: It can happen in families that there are distinct differences between child and parent, which may manifest at an early age, or become obvious and difficult as the child reaches maturity. As a consequence there may be discord and unhappiness from either involved. Can you tell us of the purpose and reasoning for such? We have a parent who has asked this, who has wondered to what purpose she has been placed in tensions aggravated by another.

IT is not our sole duty to appease the nature of another, when mishap and mayhem are cataclysmic to one particular individual. It becomes a natural instinct, praiseworthy and imperative, that we desire to make aright and restore some order to a chaotic and rowdy personality. Yet so said, it is almost an impossible task to forcibly quieten another by any means without it causing due harm to them and consequently to yourself into the bargain.

Such frustrations brought about by the disruptive influences which challenge our own sense of equilibrium, bring about untold injuries in time, during episode and thereafter, if not met with capably. Assault in the ethers directed from one individual to another, can take many forms, be them obvious or not, intentional or otherwise.

Underlined verbally or held in thought, there are critical violences occurring when the will of one man comes up against the will and ego of another and the two do not coincide. We have therefore, a problem and an examination within the question. The study is as to why the problem is, and as to how we may best answer the torrid and the persuasive with minimal 'wear and tear' upon our being's resistance.

Firstly, our differences between one another and the world at large are accentuated by Christ as much as they are answered in Him. This rule is important to go by and to honor, and needs be taken for consideration. The careful balance of our being incorporates our godliness which excels each man foremostly, and encourages him to qualities known and experienced, such as certainty, surety, forthrightness, willingness (and to a lesser degree willfulness), the making in creativity and so forth. He has a cosmic confidence if you like, which enables him to be insufferably obstinate and definite, forming himself as he goes with those God-given elements making him so remarkably wonderful in all that he truly is.

To realize our talents as well as our soul's attributes (realize, as in put to use), requires that our ego (our sense of our selves and that which knows that we are what we are and not something else) may discriminate in favor of our own personal will and wishes. This ability to cordon off extraneous influence and become self-interred is a function (cold word) of our self's egohood, that we may begin to examine the differences which confront us between what we have and are at any given moment and what we may become. Then we are conscious of a choice, a deliberate choice in which our will comes into play should we revoke our interest.

Our interactions with souls who have been brought to us by way of the family (bloodline or not) are most usually involving some carryover from past conduct. For us to be connected so intimately as we are within the family means we are refined - it is as a planetary dance of mutual magnetisms. We are held in our position by like individuals who share long and lasting histories of involvement with us. By and by, our relationships increase all the more from lifetime to lifetime. Therefore the few which we are met with and held with in terms of family title, are especially favored by us, by our soul-selves, who in overview regards the significance maintained.

Our personalities differ from lifetime to lifetime. The inherent traits which appear to be much of a man are often as not no clear indication as to the soul within. Our personalities belong to the activity of the lesser self in which we are settled within for most of our waking day. One's personality does not regard another's because it is incapable of weighing such consideration. It is rather, responsible for becoming the vehicle for activity and is marginally decided by extraneous factors such as our liaison with time tides and how we correspond to various planetary influences which work their way into the corresponding substances which receive them. Our own cosmology belongs within our biological system also, and we can reflect the heavenly transfigurations (or more accurately, certain aspects of) by those materials we attract to ourselves favoring this or that particular influence.

The personality equips us with a false veneer of being, protecting the sage as well as the idiot. It is disposable after death and we are unencumbered long after its effects have been dealt with. Our lesser selves, on the other hand, are developing also, for in accordance with them are 'families' which are attached to us invisibly and who are brought further within their development should we increase the value of our lesser selves by effort of a higher desire.

The willfulness of a child is distinct from the willfulness of a fully grown adult. Karmicly a child is ineffectual within the world and cannot be brought into account until he or she has broached the passage of puberty or beyond. Although this is no comfort to many who may have come to grievance with a young being, it is not intended to be, it is just simple fact. We can go further to discover what influences therefore may contribute to such a youngster who suffers an unruly disposition.

The occasion of parenthood brings the individual to his uppermost trial and glory. In the tradition of God we are brought to self by selflessness, brought to love by that love we offer, brought to another by our service to that other, resigned without question, misgiving or fear. Souls who come to us for that care to be had in infanthood and through to maturity (and beyond), have chosen us because of the indefinables; and it may be noted that no matter how wonderful or awful the past conditions encountered were, the mutual love to be had belongs right in the present and beyond, and therewith is the true significance. 

There are many items one could mention, and yet all important relevancies would still be left out, for it can be witnessed within the spiritual realms how exactly it is when one soul chooses those future families to correlate with. It is as a quick recognition which flashes like a fire in a diamond, a fire which may travel the expanses of a spirit-filled space to find its likeness and its future home to go to.

As we are born we are given to an assortment of difficulties, and although there may be many who benefit in learning from our shortcomings at any given time, it cannot be pure reason alone which decides for any weaknesses that we do endure. As children we are protected from harsh consequence, inasmuch as the individual within will not suffer that which the child endures. The naiveté of the child extends right up and into its higher mind, and comes to a conscious bonding gradually as the years progress, coming to know, decide and retain that which has passed.

All the while as the individual is forming, there are indications as to their overall nature and eventual selves, and yet they are incorporating into their manner, imitations of those who hold the greatest bearing within their short lives. These attributes are magnified, intensified and overtly displayed therefrom. The child can become a caricature of his surrounding personalities; exaggerated and worked upon with a happy nonsense this mimicry equips them in the world.

Why it is that children differ in their disposition to characteristics so inherited from parent and others is another matter. The point of origin lies with the surrounding adults, and if recognized may be answered by that adult also. This does not only work on the basis of imitation and example, it addresses the problematic thought-form to which the child and adult have become subdued.

A thought-form is that which has been characterized by the nature and the passion for which the thoughts reside. All men acquire them, all children are impressionable to them. We may clear them by revoking our vigor; and most particularly where there is conflict so known, for with conflict there becomes an expenditure of vitality which acts as a magnetic encouragement to every neighborhood demon in the immediate.

The child will exercise his will against that of the adult. As a man he shall need this strength and capability of will in order that he may withstand all that is wrong for him in the world, and consciously make choice for all that is good and correct to be put into action.

There can be children to whom there is a marked purpose requiring that they may exert themselves now so that in the future those properties are developed to meet the tasks ahead. Quite often where there have been worldly souls who are given to help shape humanity's changes, we find that there are sporadic outbursts and intemperate moods, as the pulse of their life-force drives rapidly and the individual is eager to acquire much, but frustrated by the necessary time it does take in the process. Therefore the child should be brought to enjoy childhood as long as is possible and distracted from his impending adult advancement.

Most would encourage the maturity in every form, believing that the child is capable of knowing what to search for, and it is understandable that we should follow the progress of an individual and seek to answer it. However, there are those things which may not be hurried, and when the will dominates the child's life with an urgency that he is ambitious to greet the future (as is the case with a worldly purpose-filled soul) he expires much healthy vitality of himself in the effort, and then draws from others as well.

We can bring a child back into childhood by those things which feed his soul rather than his intellect. Where cunning or cleverness is concerned, through to thoughtfulness and straight intelligence, the child may continue with relevant school work as is, but requires the release from his thinking as well. What brings him to simple joy, what leads him to take the time to find beauty (in nature or in art), what helps him to lose himself for a time that he is not so tight fixed within his ego? For he is acquiring his sense of self too rapidly to be given time to develop that self most adequately.

When we relax our ego that we may come to meet with the world, we then incorporate that which we have come to know and to delight in. Thus the world becomes us, as we are the World. This principle holds good for adults as well as for children, and yet there are those for which the opposite concentration must apply, who have to restrain from their advance out from their own egos and become more practiced in defining self.

The problem of weathering another individual's outbursts or 'assaults' as described earlier is one where there is a definite contrast known between being comfortable in the presence of someone, to being caused a discomfort by their behavior directed towards you or to another. It is not advisable for one to take the attitude that they ever 'deserve' incongruities which cause upset, nor that they should at all times somehow receive an insult or onslaught because they are duty bound as it were. We can and should be gracious about another's weaknesses and not retaliate to any degree, and yet we are also responsible somewhat for the continuance of their mistreatment of ourselves should we encourage it by our very acceptance of it in the first place.

Inner tensions do not begin or resolve necessarily within the mind. There is a delicate play between one and another, and usually a concordance which both may entertain each other without distress. Then for a variety of reasons, one may step beyond their license and try to exert their wilfulness upon the being of the other. It may be for a seemingly trivial 'reason' so given, whereas in fact there is the pleasure in the will's urging moreso than the noted endeavor. 

Our freedom as given to all men, enables us to refuse the will of any man, creature or being. In the short term (and speaking in overview terms) the worst that can befall a man is an early death when he rebukes the will of another. They may intrude only that far, but they may not take his soul lest he give it. The choice as to whether or not he does give way is always and completely his alone.

Taking this axiom into squabbles identifies the truth of the matter sufficiently. We may be compassionate to any man who tries to persuade us with this or with that, but we must be restrained from ever seeking to please such a man who is unreasonable with their requests. The strength that it requires to meet up against a practiced persuader soon tires if that is all that we have, and so if necessary we may direct our concentration away from their attentions and say this prayer within (the words themselves are not important, just the sense of it) –

Dear Christ,
Give this tenant his draft-plan,
And me mine also.
Bring him the good manners he lacks,
And me the good grace to receive him,
Where can and where not.
Enable me to withstand,
That I shall not corrupt myself
By failing myself and You also.

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