Containment & Conjuncture
Think on it: how the point becomes a sphere and yet remains itself.Hast thou understood how the infinite sphere may be only a point, andthen come again, for then the Infinite will shine forth for thee in the Finite.- Rudolf Steiner [quoted in Physical and Ethereal Spaces by George Adams]
THE perfect circle holds a perfect tension, and is recalcitrant to change. The orb by its nature offers two main features, namely that perfect containment, and paradoxically, an 'open door' to higher influences.
It is so very interesting to find, that when one arrives at the most perfect point within one level of being expressed, and that then becomes complete unto itself, there immediately within the now framework, is also a key central to it which leads up into places other than is contained. This also is a perfect example of a great esoteric principle; it is something which paradoxically is paradoxical, yet reasonable and probable, all at the one time!
For folk who are unfamiliar with the formula of the sphere to which we have just referred, it goes like this:
Spheres, by their very spherical shaping, contain within them at the most central point, a portal which corresponds with yet a higher sphere, a more rarefied place, than the one from which it itself has issued. The life and inspiration which feeds us from the Divine, travels through such a portal. Crystal orb scrying is based upon this fact.
All of incarnation appears peeping out through the fine point central to a sphere!
We pass out through such doorways too! Furthermore, we create spheres of containment when our thinking processes form such complete concepts which are comprehensive, with a perfect tension and a heart - an insight into the higher domain linking that concept. These spheres of thought are both fed by the divine realms, connected livingly to the higher worlds, whilst also releasing the self into the greater thought by the form that has been formed.
Even contemplated, the form of a sphere can lead an individual into 'spherical' thinking. Spherical formation however, in relation to this task, is something which is not instantaneous but worked for, and not ever acquired through means other than loving work. Although the 'aha' experience comes from the completion of the sphere with any given concept ('aha' experience refers to the enlightened insight which joyfully is grasped, realized with great and thorough effect), although this kind of spherical thinking occurs as though it has just happened with a sudden feature, it has come about because of the tedious thinking that has helped to prepare the individual in the thorough way to follow.
There are no shortcuts to this practice. For the souls who have come to the sphere without doing the preparation beforehand - using method rather than consciousness (drug, psychic practice, astral manipulation) - we find that the sphere of containment offers no doors up, out or receiving through, from the heavenly faculties.
You may ponder the 'gravity' of this situation, when an individual holds concepts that are now contained and therefore fixed, but separated off from a higher reality or life-offering property. We all know such folk who voice repetitions indicative of this condition. How very dangerous and damning artificial experience can be when the consciousness of the individual gives over his duty and his love to another influence or governing!
Equally a man may come to discover about himself and his behaviors, that much of his conduct has been formed around such fixed ideas and stations which were originally borne in such a way as was just described. You see it can be difficult to find the keys to the containment we have formerly thrown the keys away for!
What is meant here, is just to say that if we have formed opinions and behaviors about ourselves in early life, which we have accepted but not truly created self-consciously for ourselves but by others, we unwittingly carry around these spherical concepts that have no higher drive or release but are fixed and repetitious and also quite consuming.
So later in this paper we will discuss the dissolution process of such a sphere in respect to this difficulty. We may refer to them in gentle humor (not in sinister accusation) as the 'dark planets' of our being - dead, cold, lifeless spheres of conceptualization we now seek to change.
Now to the Cross of Conjuncture:
There is a divine mystery and paradox to the cross also. There are a few wonderful gifts of thought we can pass on here; that we look to the cross because at its central heart is the key to it, and that is a place where two individual influences have met and combined. One could say, in relation to the 'I Am', in relation to the process of true ego evolvement, that such a perfect meeting is required for the individual ego to know and experience.
Were we all alone in a blackened cosmic space with no other experience outside of ourselves, there would be little to know or compare or receive; in point of fact nothing. What we take to ourselves from outside of ourselves becomes incorporated in who we are. Egoic development is all about such incorporation. Not in a vampiristic way, but moreover in such depth and breadth of experience that empathetically, reasonably and lovingly comes to know and comprehend natures outside of our own.
The Divine paradox with the Cross, is that one could say that it is most representative of the Ego of Man, of the 'I Am', and yet at the same time (reasonably, in probability and paradoxically) it represents two.
Countless conjunctures combine to make the mainframe to every level of every domain, above and below. This central meeting place is also quite sacred and protected space. There is a fixed nature of permanency too, given to the exact area where two meet perfectly. In this way we build, in this way we invite and incorporate Christ into the midst of our combining when the two are gathered and meet at the heart of the cross. And because He is present, it remains.
Such a meeting at such a conjuncture does not denote agreement or sameness. When we examine this principle in relation to the very physics of Nature we find that the intrinsic strength comes from the new formation as provided by the differing aspects, rather than similes just pooling together. Clearly and interestingly again, the meeting occurs firstly from two carriers who are coming from different angles to begin with. You cannot have parallels forming a conjuncture.
In relation to the conjunctures of egoic experience, with individuals this tells us that sameness is not desirable, for the action of Christ to be amongst us, or for the experience of further constructing in the principle of two. However these two do need to share same or similar velocity in order to meet. This also is a principle inherent in the equation we put forth.
Now the reason (second-guessing of course) for this being, is that if the velocity of one is stronger than another, the central point could and would be corrupted, torn away, by the force of the stronger of the two. There is no possibility of 'meeting' with unequal force. Not only is this fair in outcome, but practical in every law there is. Within our evolution, which is a constant constant, there is no tyrannical survival of the strongest, for if that were the case we should all have become just one entity, in one environment, holding just one thought forever.
Now egoicly we could go on to say that in relation to people, the only constructive relationships occur when folk share the same strength of velocity of will in order to be creative and formative by their mutuality. This in many respects holds true. Children can suffer the company of other children who are extremely willful and nothing good can come out of it. We would contest the notion that it is enstrengthening for the character or anything else to suffer an unequal relationship - it is certainly not creative at all.
One lovely point here that can be made in relation to children, is that whilst their egoic development does not match the adult, their own velocity (this applies to practically all children) does equal the adult; and any parent knows what meets his will in the relationship of the demanding child to that of his own, and the truth of this!
In order for a child to develop this needs be the case entirely. Then can the infant, through to maturity, find conjunctures of experience with the adult, not to become but a copy of the adult at all, but all the while to have met ground from the position of their own rightful unique offering to the two. This is not to say that things will always be equal or fair, simply because one is a child in the relationship, but rather to point to an overall fact that may be deviated from at times to the detriment of either.
When children incarnate 'too quickly' their vitality dissipates and their power of velocity slows. All kinds of experience can bring this to be, yet in the healthy individual this is not the case. Similarly in the adult who is depleted (perhaps by another adult in the constant mismatching of velocity proximity - we call this 'velocity atrocity' :0) ) the adult can find that their 'coping' with a child is simply not there and what may have been a creative combining misses every time.
So we have come to a difficulty which is not inherent in the perfect cross at all, but something which corrupts the forming of the cross, because of this velocity atrocity. We now have two problems in relation to egoic development and selfhood to discuss - our dark planet spheres of fixed and deadened thinking, and our velocity atrocity of unequal powers put across within a relationship.
Firstly in relation to unequal velocities, you will find that when people instinctively react to other individuals in a negative way it is usually because of the velocity and not because of their opinion or personage. Most conflict arises out of this difficulty.
Similarly, but differently, there are individuals who have a magnetic charisma of a kind that enables them to be liked or loved, or adored by folk who are much weaker than them. It would not be prudent to give a formula for this, because even though the element of conflict is removed from such relationships, no creativity or Christly activity is ever born of it.
As you can imagine, what occurs in this kind of relationship is that there is still one individual whose velocity is far greater than another's, and the two would sense this, feeling an emptiness and a sorrow at the mismatch. Should the stronger, the charismatic individual, seek to win their will and make something of the other, there is a saving grace to say that this cannot and will not happen. So the blessing here is, that even with no resistance from the weaker one, and no apparent conflict occurring, the stronger cannot prevail over the other, regardless of the clinical adoration this velocity provokes.
True love and mutuality must arise from equal velocities.
To try to temper velocity and restrain the self does not work either. Illness is often a corrective attempt at doing exactly that. Also the overbearing velocity of one can invoke weakness on another. Again it would be imprudent to give a formula for this behavior, however it can be noted that there are ways that folk can and do regulate their velocity's output in short episodes perhaps, that through training themselves they can use outbursts to 'tear through' the velocity of another. It will never gain a creative result, but it does temporarily win the game of wills.
So by nature the individual who is primarily and consistently the stronger in relation to velocity, can be undone and dismantled if the weaker one has willfully directed their velocity to concentrated outbursts. This is exactly why people get audibly and obviously angry in an exaggerated and vitality filled way. It also proves that such behavior is deconstructive to the relationship, and excluding our dear Christ from the problem that the anger is meant to respond to.
We are protected however from this assault insofar as nothing permanent will arise from it. What does occur though, is a disabling of the afflicted, and this in itself is not healthy. This disabling also explains the 'victim' phenomenon, where individuals forget to question the right or wrongfulness of the folk treating them so shamefully and put up with the affliction more and more, rather than less and less.
Also it is not unusual for the man or woman who uses their velocity in willfulness, to suffer regular bouts of ill-health due to the rapid rise and fall of their personal vitality and the unproductive over-expenditure of it.
Logically one would assume that if a man or a woman is being treated harshly by another they would simply summon the will and the words to strongly (not angrily) but emphatically deny them their attempt. Equally, any outburst of emotion that has motive to velocity can affect another badly. Again, logically one would imagine that there would become a resignation and action to cease this. Yet the very 'I Am' - the selfhood awareness of the individual - is temporally disabled by such an assault.
Anger is not only destructive to relationship, but self-destructive also. People who suicide are angry people exercising too much willful velocity and are lonely in the mismatching which results from it; leading to the ultimate dark planet, alone and fixed. At some time these people have been rewarded for their outbursts of willful velocity and have come to believe that this is how they achieve results which offer them 'their own way'. Whatever it is they are seeking, if a man or woman is rewarded (or perceives a reward) then they will naturally persist until becoming self-loathing monsters.
Second to this, the other party (whether stronger or not) will set about to undermine the other, unbeknown to them. In this they achieve (to their reasoning) a measure of selfhood without the deleterious and chaotic effects of the emotional/violational outpouring. However, this does also mean in effect a measure of lying and going against oneself in the process. This in turn deflates the vitality, lessens the strength of the ego, and gives over to the person you are trying to stand up against, insofar as you are weakened to their will and viscosity, come the next predictable altercation.
If you come to think about it, you would not dread the opinion of anyone if it was delivered gently. A feather-soft offering of any concept is palatable, workable and enjoyable. That is in fact, what they call Philosophy. In Philosophy we can take on the largest of subjects softly and enjoy them without feeling ourselves combatant or dissolving amongst the issue.
Now we can also recognize the necessary tensions and problems the teenager experiences in their relationship with the adult as the velocities become different and apparently awkward. When the child has grown and no longer has the vitality of heaven to empower them - particularly if they have prematurely exhausted themselves with drug-taking and now feel both complacency and self-belittlement - there will be a tension between the parent and them, which you would expect with such unequal velocities. The actual meeting of self is almost impossible!
If there is one principle we can come to expect, it is certainly that of a good paradox throughout! Of course we have come to think of a paradox as an anomaly, but it is most natural. In truth, good principles have many good aspects, even polar ones, which we need to acquire an understanding of in order to understand them in the first place.
Further to all of this velocity problem we have our beloved Christ who is the governing regulator (amongst other things of course) for all divine reckoning. Now what this means as it implies, is that Love is the great equalizer. A teacher of outstanding merit, vitality and force, can therefore be amongst his pupils and serve them well, providing he loves them and never seeks to impose his own will upon them. A Master can teach without devastating his pupil, a lover can love their partner without consuming them in the process, and a parent can guide their child into adulthood without attempting to shape them accordingly - so long as there is an observance of the two prerequisites: true love and no imposition.
It does not mean that we are required to deny ourselves or who we are, and that we do not impose ourselves on another. You can see that these are two different issues. Denying who we are, is something that is profoundly complex and given to problems which tend to gather strength against us, whereas not forcing our vitality or requiring consent or consensus from others, is enstrengthening to our own egos.
True love cannot be manufactured. Although it is implied here that it is a first duty to relationship, it is not ever something we can mentally train ourselves to be disposed to.
There is a deeper mystery to this which we may touch upon later. Following on with this, it is proper to add that if a teacher has not this love for a particular pupil, it is paramount that he absolves himself from the relationship. Even a parent is better (for both concerned) to walk away temporarily or permanently from the now-adult that he feels he genuinely cannot love. Love occurs in freedom and not obligation. If there has been a violation from either - i.e. an imposition of will or a forceful exaggeration of velocity - then the love itself will naturally withdraw anyway.
Folk often wonder miserably where did the love go from their relationship when it obviously departed the very moment they exerted their wills violently upon the other that they loved. This is both sad, but good also. For if it were otherwise we would find true love permitting the crippling of our selfhood, whereas it does not abide any injury at all. The fruit of true love is what comes of the perfect conjuncture at the cross - it is the strengthening of both parties, the furthering of both and the health (spiritually) incurred by the meeting of the two.
Therefore and also, the teacher will be given his immediate gifts spiritually from his pupil, as does the parent from the child and adult-child - there is not only a mutual power of velocity, but a mutual enhancement commensurate with the productiveness created in the combining.
Also it should be mentioned here, that kindly as always the wisdom of Nature prevails….that in regards to how much velocity an individual has and exudes (the speed and the force by which they move toward others with their ego) is determined also by exactly how much they themselves can withstand. Spiritually this is so. An individual could soon be completely disassembled if his own powers of velocity were too great for his own being to withstand!
Also and on a variant topic, it can be added here that this measure of velocity does not relate to intellectual capacity at all. Reasoning and intelligence do not have bearing on the individual's carriage throughout life with their strength of velocity. It is not unusual to find handicapped or dull-witted individuals who have mismanaged willfully their relationships previously (i.e. used intelligence to gain over others) who then carry over the same velocity gathered, but lack the intelligence to direct it far. They still present as imposing people however, by the momentum of their presence alone.
Eventually folk learn firsthand, precisely because they are bound to such learning by consequence. However, looking to solve some associated problems with containment and conjuncture, we naturally seek to understand how we may also free up containment and cease from our disabling relationships where needs be.
The dark planet idea is one which solely involves ourselves and problems caused by ourselves. If we turned it inside out we could find that the very difficulties we might meet with in the relationship which is unloving and manipulative, has the same effect on our souls as does this condition of self-exile in the condition of the dark planet.
Instead of the conjuncture occurring between ourselves and another, (or not occurring more properly) we find that there is no true relationship with our thinking and the divine realities; our spiritual connections are a farce and therefore unproductive, and have no permanency won for the future.
So on the one hand you could view the dark planet condition as a sole responsibility to observe, comprehend and deal with, whilst the velocity-atrocity involves the influences of others which are completely beyond your control - other than to either accept or walk away from.
In both instances it has to be said here that it is crucial that no individual attempts to judge either or both conditions for another. It is intrusive and corruptive and false to even try to. No matter what we may wish for - particularly with coming to relationship matters - we must trust in the other to have a sound mind, heart and judgment and not try to willfully tell them how they think and feel and what effect you have upon them and why.
Inner referral is instant and honest - it is what it is. But bring the coercive will factor in, and then what there is of the love will be driven out immediately. Yes this is our angelic nature offended by the assault of the other, fleeing for its freedom, pained by the insinuation. (An in-sin-uation here – implying that one can know for another.)
Now to the problem of releasing ourselves from our fixed ideas which are holding our particular thoughts both contained and captive. Firstly it is to say that most spiritual allegories are rooted in spiritual reality. If I were to put to you that the light of the consciousness could in fact penetrate into the dark spheres of our fixed thinking, and dissolve the walls of the confining sphere, could you consider that on some level this would literally be so? That our consciousness can be illumined and does illumine, beautifully and constructively!
Yet how does one sort out the dark planets from the heavenly spheres within the being, our own being, accumulated this life?- Particularly when the dark planets circulate most closely to our consciousness and orbit our thoughts with the most tiring persistence. How do we discriminate between what is our true self and that which is given to the death-star?
When we die we do not take our false ideas with us, there is nothing that ties us to however many dark planets we trail after ourselves during our life. They have no existence in the spiritual realities and are of no use to us when we depart. This is a wonderful fact. We do take in essence, our soul's striving and impressions of Love; we do take our ego's gathering (all to the good) and we are what we are, whether it be glib or glam! But we do not take the orbs of fixed thought that have no doorways into purpose. Similarly in sleep we depart them also. In blessed rest we rise out from these lower spheres of containment and become revivified in only that which is secured in the true holy life.
It is just before sleep that we have an ability to refuse to accept to take on these dark planets upon waking and sever ourselves from the relationship we have with their persevering constancy. Now this is precisely why the thoughts of the dark planets visit us just before sleep. People often feel they are being troubled or haunted and cannot get to sleep etc., but in goodness it is because these dark planets are presenting before us for us to review them in the light of the fact that we can dismiss them forever should we choose so.
It is more than likely that the very dark planets you may find difficult to name earlier, come before your mind's eye just before or during sleep, with their repetitious demanding, because they cannot be venues for anything higher. They crowd around the bedside at the periphery but have no means for assimilation or use. Does this make sense at all to you? If you think hard now can you find the very ideas that revisit and trouble you, that up until now you have accepted as part of yourself and your ego's own making, when in fact they are just the opposite.
The very next question then is to take the entirety of these concepts and examine them in the light of a few things pertinent. Firstly, when you came to these ideas (not behaviors, not events, not what they might be saying to you about yourself or the world, but to the ideas themselves) what condition were you in? Did they come about because of a natural thinking you yourself have made, or did they become in you at a time when you were vulnerable? Was your ego in a compromised condition, did someone else suggest it to you, etc.?
A nightmare can often be a clue about the dark planet we have become entrapped in also, remembered because we have ventured out in semiconsciousness into this concept, but have not been able to find the doorway into sleep from it, because the portal is not there. The nightmare is not about what could eventuate or even about judgment of one's activities. What it is telling us is that our thoughts gathered on this subject are not working, and we need to revisit and revise and cast them aside if they are not life-bringing to us in the first place.
For example: a person may attempt to enter sleep with prayers and exercises that are quite wonderful to picture and experience - even when slumber is pressing in upon the consciousness - however certain thoughts interrupt and assert themselves to the mind, subliminal to the prayerful dialogue. They may go something like this in the beginning:
"I was right, I know I was right. How can they not see I am right? "”
"I am wrong, I am wrong, I am wrong, wrong, wrong - how can I manage being wrong?"
These two key statements will lead into the dark planet time after time. There is no real self-confidence in them, and many thoughts will follow on from them - but you can begin to feel where in the "I Am" they have infiltrated and how they persist.
They are indicative however, of not being necessarily wrong or right, or even that it matters in the context of the problem they take shape in. What is underlying this persistence is that the ego itself has not accepted the package and is trying to compare something it cannot comprehend or pass. In one way there is no wrong or right in this, it is coming from a time when we have been impressed with something that we really inherently did not want.
The fundamentalist who is living the reality of fixed thought often does not comprehend what he even says on the subject he delivers. This explains the non-thinking, non-rational component that often goes with the fixedness, plus the very issues of who is wrong and right surfacing beyond proportion. There will be arguments from this type of person about 'wrong' and 'right' over everything; all arising initially from a disquiet in the soul and a presentation before the ego of the dead material being labored with on a constant basis.
Uncannily this individual would probably not be able to even imagine the fixed nature of their own thinking, nor either when questioned, believe that the "I am wrong" or "I am right" issues of thought ever plague them. It is almost as though they are living in a quasi-sleep state, speaking but never hearing their own words or thoughts properly, and they are certainly beyond reviewing them.
Although you may well see this (because one cannot be asked to dim the observances even though we withhold our judgments) there is no task appointed to you to begin to penetrate and illumine another's dark star. Nor is it for us to accept the very thoughts put out from such a gloomy place! But nonetheless it can be very natural to feel cheated by the nonsense we can be asked to approve, when our hearts and intelligence see it for what it is.
And so back once again to the spheres we alone can expedite away from ourselves. There are common falsehoods shared amongst us all, which one way or another pervade and theme our unproductive spheres of thought:
- Vanity - false pride
- Self-degradation - false humility
It gets a little complicated here because these two also relate obviously to the maintaining of being 'wrong' or 'right' but actually still have little to do with the truth of both the subject and the individual. For the person who invests thought in those things which reward false pride you will find that they will also employ much of their concerns with being self-degrading also. The two, kinetically, are one and the same.
If a man or woman has invested their self-image with ideas of wealth or glamour as being important, they will concurrently suffer an over-burdensome image of self-degradation - however, never coming close to true worth or self evaluation in the process.
We also can undervalue ourselves in the very act of conceding to another's opinion. Whether we have taken a concept originally because we were given to drunkenness or even submitting to the velocity of another, we can and do constantly undervalue ourselves simply by taking on the dark planet concept in the first place. This of course will lead on to many thoughts that undermine the worth of the person and the self, and though it may be taken to be coming from a seriously minded conscientious prompting, it may be moreover a repetitive form of self-flagellation.
The thing about self-flagellation in the negative context is that it inflames a certain type of astral vitality which can and does fuel temporarily both the furies and the momentum by which one does live. In both the physical and mental application it is stimulating the system without true cause - again in an artificiality of method. This therefore promotes more of the same problem as aforementioned.
Both the soul and the ego embrace true cause and true purpose. There is always the brightest aspect of our consciousness which identifies heartbeat to heartbeat, what is true and what is false, what is good and what is not, what has meaningful and lasting conjunctures within and heavenly connections as well; and what does not work, not fit and not going anywhere.
It is proof enough that if you are operating in your life out from the premise that good people 'put up and shut up' then already you have adopted the dark planet's motto of despair.
Being less than who you are or are capable of being, is never required by Christ or deemed as a goodness by Heaven. Compromises that involve a life of lies become as a living hell. Even the teenager can begin this path, enter into these thoughts and accept them as a lifelong given ever after.
It is natural to want love, to savor love, to need love and to give love. If we look around at our community of dear people we can find that it is not natural for all to feel this way spontaneously about all, most, or even perhaps more than ten people (not in reality that is). There can be a great affection, many shared stories, and also a pious regard for a longstanding relationship we have known, but when it comes to true love it becomes more rare than common, and exquisitely so.
Why do we work out from assumptions that we should try to do things that we simply have not the power to do? The 'good' man may feel guilt every day that he does not love his Humanity more than he does. He may feel as though he has let all of his friends down, because secretly (and often in the night) such thoughts of not loving enter into him with a spectre's accusing finger, and a prisonly sphere of trapped pain.
I do not love enough! Surely this is the first and only way I can best serve and emulate my Father and His Son? Why can I not feel as I should? Why are there days sometimes I labor to even tolerate, let alone feel charity, compassion or joy for another? What kind of reptile must I be that I assume such superiority, yet display no common kindness? Why do I look to this person and feel that I am a constant disappointment, as they are to me?
Well yes, this is not so unusual, and it is what it is. All of this world and the dear people in it or near it, have so much to look forward to, so much happiness to come in general improvement. Yet it will only arrive if they can build upon the conjunctures that they have in this present.
The condition of the spirit within, and the resonance that will happen all about, shall one day bring forth an age and a paradise in which these kinds of experiences will become more natural than not. This paradise of being is something we have also known in those spiritual realms bereft of the difficulties we have presenting here. Again you can know from the carefree soul you sometimes experience in the most holy of dreams, that there can be (in yourself) a character full of goodwill, uninhibited and unencumbered by anything!
However and most wonderfully, here today in the World there is a form of Love that can exist between souls which is very different and precious and unique to the signature of Humanhood, and to the very conditions we suffer. This form of Love is so rich in the properties of Christ and His Gift of the Ego, that there is yet one more paradox we shall visit in this paper. This paradox says that Love is compelling, yet also freeing, that we are chosen by it, and it cannot be decided for or against, it just is. Within this great truth is also the other truth that love can be the greatest shaper to the ego, being both gentle and fierce, both the greatest concession and gift that we have to know.
If we could manipulate it within ourselves, if we could inspire it everywhere with everyone, then it would also be that our egoic life would be infilled with the influence of these dear souls. Yet the ramifications and learning from love are so dear to us and so especial, they cannot be faceless or indistinct. Love leads to knowledge and is exact. Are we careless enough to imagine that it would come to us insincerely without qualification? Are we so vague as to anticipate it to be without distinction? When Christ Loves us, He Knows us! He does not just 'Love' a glob of faceless Humanity, He actually, perceptibly, wholly and solely, comprehendingly and delightedly Knows who we are every minute of us, being who we are individually.
We honestly must say that this is not our experience of most people, because we are simply not prepared, nor perceptive enough to love them well; and nor are they ready either to be loved by us. It is not a possibility to require of ourselves something this unrealistic. In knowing this, we can forgive ourselves and others of any inadequacy, whilst at the same time prepare ourselves in our learning with the opportunities we do have for combining with hobbies, study, worship, creativity, and those people of equal velocity to us that we can literally share with. (Also, if we understand the value of velocity we can estimate our reactions to others and them to us with this reasoning, realizing the difficulties or ease we experience accordingly.)
Romantic love (differing from our brotherly love) is more particular again, and exact to the ego's own requirements. Once again, it would be unrealistic to take on more than our knowledge affords us and wish for something which is not. Romantic love at the core is rooted in knowledge, the highest of knowledge, and yet further to this also comes such mystery that even the gods themselves cannot decipher with predictable reasoning, the issue of its substance.
So therefore it is not reasonable that we ourselves should require to understand something which again is beyond our comprehension for the main, and still being worked out within the World as we go along, through the furnace and holy fires of those relationships! How can an individual tell if it is true love within the relationship living between the two? How can they know this?... They know this, and that is how they can tell.