Two steps forward and one step back.
THE process of inversion is natural to the processes involving manifestation. There are etheric tides which change direction, and yet higher impulses which likewise do the same. The rings in a tree mark this (otherwise there would be no defined line), whilst the change from leaf into bud into flower into fruit - the very openings for change itself - occur at the point of transversal. (Remember the spiraling layers of the heart tissue which changed direction layer upon layer?)
[See Lawrence Edwards, The Vortex of Life]
Inversion occurs. Some periods are predictable, some are responsive to certain conditions, some are determinable (or at least the effects can be contained and maintained) whilst some relate to a higher order of consequence.
There can be all kinds of episodes of inversion. As the word implies there is an impulse, an action, a motivating force outside (and inside) of the regular activity, in which the entire direction changes and whether momentarily or not, what 'was' and 'is' does change direction for apparently no reason according to itself.
There are microcosmic instances of this happening in episodes so fractionally small that they could not be measured in the process. There are times when these gaps for change and tidal shifts are utilized by higher determinations for a set purpose and are very much apparent.
Both time itself and our perception of time is subject to episodic inversion. The very nature of time works on this principle of course, and when men have been given the experience of life moving at slow-motion, or the slowing of time has given them a passage into safety or reaction, the process of inversion has been exploited to the point where temporarily its ordinary processes have been reversed and held there.
Inversion is not of death, though often makes the opportunity for some action to halt, some course to change and another to cease. It is a lively, cooperative force, inspired from the very highest of motivating impulses. This is not (in our context today as a fundamental operating principle) implying a dark double, a threatening edge or an upsetting interference to life itself, but is rather life-on-life, pulling backwards and forwards in an almighty tide of pendulous rhythm.
The faerie folk of the etheric realm often display their intimate relationship to understanding this process through their laughter and contrariness. Within our own experiences we know what it is like being given over to that impulse of laughter which changes the direction of what was hitherto being considered. It may be such a relief to halt that direction and move in reverse (if only momentarily), that joy is given also to the experience. Many jokes are structured so that end piece which brings on the laughter has caused such a reverse shift in the thinking. Also, the comical and nonsensical is so by definition, because it departs from the rational which is expected, sequential and reasonably anticipated.
However, inversion interrupts what is reasoned, assumed and ongoing. It doubles back and changes the direction, in ways so small they can be undetectable or ways so large the consequences will be different to the original course first predicted and set upon.
We can observe this materially, karmicly (yes that is interesting) etherically (working upon the physical) and within the realm of consciousness and relationship within this world also.
We can observe this materially, karmicly (yes that is interesting) etherically (working upon the physical) and within the realm of consciousness and relationship within this world also.
Inversion occurs in and out of other cyclical determining factors. It operates responding to and in accordance with the highest law in any given particular. Being truly spiritual in its operating life, it is not merely subject or subjecting, but rather an emissary being answerable to many, many considerations.
For example, how many times has a therapist witnessed a successful practice or procedure lose (overnight) its efficacy of treatment? Commonly an individual may be treated in a particular way or adjust his diet or take in a medicinal supplement, whereupon he improves his condition for a time, only to regress, often rapidly, finding that the same regime has no benefit for him.
This is a period of inversion which has worked in upon his constitution in relation to the properties of this therapy. It can happen at any point, and it does happen (depending upon the frequency of employment). It just may be sidestepped very quickly (almost unnoticeably) and revert back into being health promoting, or it may manifest as a small slide back in health which is then still recovered; or it may lose its power of property entirely because of a higher determining factor in the consideration of that individual's general wellbeing.
Oddly though, at this point of our being, in this world today, it would not be enough to simply exist in 'perfect health'. The perfect health of the body in many ways implies a certain stubbornness over the soul. Whilst the soul is 'breaking in' the body, so to speak, there is (albeit painful) a presiding authority, which could not be maintained at present in a body which was indestructibly healthy!
Fortunately the only folk who have earned such immortality have had the virtuous attributes worked for, and attained to strengthen themselves and affect their beloved animalia likewise.
The definition of a man whose body dominates presence over the consciousness - egoic and soulic awareness - is a vampire. The body lives to maintain itself and its desires, moving around without a living connection reciprocal to life in the giving. This does not lend itself to anything lasting, but there are two points to come of this which may be of value.
Firstly, returning to the previous paragraphs, we can respect that if an inversion has happened during a time of healing and/or remission, and inexplicably there is a degenerative regression which occurs, we can assume that the determinings of that individual were inwardly such, that there was still important work to be furthered in that realm which was affected.
Although we hope and pray for good health in general to be enjoyed by all, and we may attempt many different pathways to this objective, we must also recognize that piece-by-piece we are all reworking our bodies over many, many lifetimes. Each time we incarnate anew we bring to our bodies further wisdom, further imbuing, and mastery over those quadrics which are cosmically and virtually cooperative.
Different folk have different ways of effecting changes. Illness and disease currently introduce into the community of being, forces which are definitely characterized according to beneficent gods. Even mania and depression present to Man as a gift given, inspired from a higher source. You see, bacterial viruses of themselves can be as unwelcome and interfering as any other cold-hearted devil, however the illness experienced within the body is in response to this presence - it is beneficent in its workings always.
So one should be very careful and cooperative, mindful of and thankful to these higher helpers manifesting even within an expulsive illness - and furthermore to know that this assistance is determined within the being of an individual and never by an exterial source.
Injury to the body is another matter, but even then the benevolence of shock will enshroud the assaulted body with angelic covering.
(The second point about vampirism will be made later.)
(The second point about vampirism will be made later.)
Now, as said, every practice - diet, discipline, every meditation, medication and even eurythmy - can invert and work to the opposite effect, be it short or protracted, and it is wise to look out for such times and rest the practice during that period. Added to this we find also an exaggerated problem with the practice of eurythmy itself.
Let us explain:
(It is a little like the tiger story, running around the pole, turning into butter.)
|Little Black Sambo|
We have described a process whereupon the natural order of something manifest turns back upon itself for a time and is reversed of its own action. We have suggested that three possibilities live within this occurrence, that this episode may be so small as to be inconsequential to the original order, may temporarily interrupt the order or may offer irrevocable change as from the next position assumed. We also have maintained that there is always a conferring wisdom as to these periods in timing and consequence.
However, picture if you should, how different all of this is when the human will begins to direct these forces intentionally, and with remarkable effect welcomes the powers of inversive persuasion. Remarkably, inversion itself is so very dominating that there is little the will of a man or a woman can do actively to even cooperate with it, let alone fight it. Taking the will into this occurrence is dangerous. Not even the consciousness could find its way back.
When the practitioners of change try to call forth certain vitalities with invoking inversion they are using the period which comes just prior to the inversive process itself - this period is the opening for the 'chaos' explained. Ordinarily in natural consequence, there is always a Guardian Angel at that doorway, and associated with that being there is also a higher cause and consequence awaiting the sequence of events to follow.
In this we always refer to the Will of our Father. During these times we can trust that although the active pathways are flipped over and drawn back, far back to His Calling and for His Review, we are usually relaxed in our ego to this transversal. If anything, our consciousness is calmed; our sense of urgency driving into life is sufficiently quietened. 'Thy Will' can be done, and we are content in this. The difficulties arise when it is that our own will contests the process - and worse still brings it in through ritual divining.
Our dear soul [person in question] who is suffering at present, has described a problem of unbearable grief through from waking and into the morning, and is understandably upturned from the usual bearings one might find in the first light. Incarnating is unspeakably difficult - returning consciousness into the body and beginning a new day takes a remarkable effort - but more than this alone, there is an unfortunate condition of a being which feels so shattered and weakened within that it can no longer bear whichever way the tides of life may stream.
Doggedly one may try to hold and fix onto some measure of the past - especially because of the alarm now experienced, for the change in moving forward and the spaces in between, leads to more employment of the will, once again where will cannot go.
Equally it is that relationships (one-to-one) have specific times for creativity and productiveness which are also given to inverted periods allowing each individual good time to return to themselves (and to their relationship with the Father); and the stronger and more defining this relationship is, the more these forces will be compelled to intervene.
If the desire and the mutuality prevails over these episodic reversals then the friendship will persist and remain. Yet there are also conclusions which naturally occur, and if one soul does not desire to conjoin similarly and the pattern is changed thereafter, then the inverted process has freed both the individuals for regaining a sense of yet another direction they should prefer.
So just as the gateway to death yawns on occasion and offers us the possibility for release from incarnation, one can say that the very strong attachments which we have past worked within are loosed from us, and from those to us, also in episode, during which time choices are made.
The same applies for our career pathways and choices for association with various groups and their cooperating beings. There will be periods where we work comfortably and with constancy - assuming all will continue unto eternity perhaps - and then shall come that inverted time which will offer review for us and release also from the group entities for which we otherwise had been quite devoted to and contained within.
Even though it may appear that it is sad to say that relationships which have been strong and powerfully helpful may also be dismissed quite quickly, one can also know that we are frequently brought back into the magnetic field of each and every one of our significant partnerships and given the opportunity for renewing the cooperative effort.
As difficult as it may seem, the cessation of a certain relationship, by one or both of the parties concerned, is preferable by far to the extraordinary damage that one individual can cause another by forced communication. The reason for this is the fact that the two have gathered signature keys which profoundly affect one another. Now if there is one which wishes to be free from the orbit of the relationship and the other is compelling them to stay, there becomes an act of will in amongst this which turns against the both of them.
This will be particularly noticeable during a period of inversion. Without a mutual consent there can be no real mutual cooperation. Without mutual cooperation there is a conflict of wills which will now attempt to settle the matter of authority - one over the other.
Returning to the vampires: in the ordinary sense a vampire is a synthetic being whose original life has withdrawn from them. Their soul has removed itself because of death, but the astrality has refused to desist and dissolve and turns back upon the physical keeping it alive, sustaining it artificially so that it may remain intact, connected to the corpse.
Now a relationship where one individual has withdrawn, for whatever reason that they may personally have, can become vampiristic where the other individual persists to keep that corpse intact and will not allow the life-forces to break it down… and the vitality used is drawn directly from the partner that it may continue. This is why we say to you that it is preferable for both individuals to depart company and resume lovingly at some later stage, rather than try to reanimate something which has lost its original verve, and risk contaminating their soulic kinship with the complications of a drooling pretence.
No good or worthy relationship ever 'ends'. You can be assured that if it is good you can pick up from where you left off. There is nothing better for the beloved Elohim themselves to witness, than a dynamically creative, passionate and caring, substantiating and fulfilling, cradling and even compelling relationship between two longstanding friends. Divinely coerced and even to be elaborated on, worthy relationships are continually being reunited and protected for all time. The difficulty arises when, for whatever reason (we say this because reasons are immaterial and individuals are entitled to be motivated differently, firstly according to their own deciding), one needs to part company and does not, and little by little the relationship deteriorates into something harmful for both.
There are multifarious ways to give grief the old heave-ho. Firstly, even grief itself will be given periods of respite - times of inversion, times to be thereafter discharged. When folk cry they are relieved of their own will, for at the point of tears they are at those walls where they can go no further and do know it. The ego desires to go beyond itself to effect a change, but cannot. The tears actually relieve the will of its trying (amongst other things). These tears are decidedly helpful in this. If there is grief however, without the deferment to tears, then the will is still straining to intervene.
It is not of itself, unlawful or vain to desire, to want or to hope. By design and by creation, our wills are more powerful than even we can imagine at present. Our imaginative powers are not as yet developed enough to realize the full extent and powers of each individual will. Nonetheless, we impact the spiritual worlds and also the material realm tremendously.
This can be useful, constructive and inspirational. Wonderful. Every effort one makes towards anything worthy will be continued and realized at some point, somewhere. It is understandably, so very difficult when a person is gravely disappointed that life has not continued on with some joyful episode or meaning that was once known.
Yet life itself cannot honor and reward just one person's willfulness in entirety. Amongst the magnitude of community we face there is no possibility of just one soul truly being favored above and beyond another, suppressing the desires of others. If a beloved departs this life and leaves us, we might grieve their passing and will it were otherwise, but the calling out from this world could not have been delayed one moment more than it was to favor our time above theirs. It may seem irreconcilable, but in truth, it is what it is - exactly that.
Dispelling grief is achieved through finding the good purpose inside what was the inexplicable or irreconcilable. This can take much work and guidance, but one can hold fast to the fact that there is always good reason motivating us, others, and all of life; and this goodness bears promise, not only for beginnings but for all things to be resumed as well.
Asia interestingly, was the first home of the eurythmic movement. It has long understood the implications of the spirit soulfully motivating both the body and thereby the ethers with an inward positioning - commanding too the other forces. This has been their specialty to the point where the discipline becomes life, and life a formality. Once again the body can eventually dictate to the soul through its strength, but in a transverse manner to what may have once been anticipated astrally in the desire body, in the sensory fulfillment, only to be now the tyrant of the etheric perfection which is as detached and unresponsive to the changes and the promptings of the 'I am' of the man, in the man, in the main.
Do not think that the practice is as far removed as it would say it is. The spirit of one has consumed the other, and the grandchild will dutifully obey its grandparent, no matter how far removed it appears to be or distinguished from in likeness.
On the question of obsessing over suicide:
Firstly, it will be of great benefit to you to wear a cross. Apart from the cross linking you with quite a broad community of very supportive souls, it will also serve by its form as well, to offer you a 'fixed point of peace' that you may go to.
You now have the chance to ponder as to whether or not you feel subjected to inversion unduly. Like a boat on a stormy sea rocked this way and that, you may well feel as though these forces you once invoked in hope, are tearing apart all reality, and suicide is the only answer to end the turmoil. However, as you also must know, suicide at this point on the road last life, was the 'option' taken previously by you, and the wraith that remained from that aggressive default still rages upon you, haunts you and pleads with you today.
This is not as uncommon as it may sound. It can happen for a variety of reasons, yet suffice to say that once again the astral body has struggled for an existence it believed it should have had (which was severed prematurely with the suicide last life) and partially managed to remain undissolved unto this day. Yes, this is very much the theme to this paper today.
Another instance of this occurring is with soldiers who have died violently and withdrawn very rapidly from their astrality, which was contaminated amongst the fear and brutality of their last minutes. The shell of this condition can return back and attempt to rejoin with the now life of the individual who once colored and inspired it. This again is very common. Rather than revisiting the experience of trying to kill oneself again over (like in your instance) the soldier is continually fighting, defending and 'on edge', fearful of the very world as a perceived foe. Everything may translate for him into a life and death battle where at all costs he will justify his own survival before others. It is really the survival of this astral wraith he champions with affectionate ferocity. Added to this, he may well be caught in feeding the astrality, being weakened by its promptings, given to intemperate outbursts and indulgences.
But with the wraith of the suicide there becomes a compulsive prompting to relive the attempt to die (just as the astral body repeatedly lives through the body's demise) and also to fulfill the urge from this astral body to reunite with the soul as it longs to do (having wished to follow it either into earthly life or to Heaven). This now translates also into an overwhelming perception of a 'beloved' being out there that one wishes to reunite with in order to feel whole again.
The question then is as to how to put to peace, once and for all, this character who does not even resemble you any longer, that you may exorcise yourself from all the dark thoughts and happenings which have afflicted you.
Firstly you shall also be relieved of trying to relive the former self alongside the former identities, who also too have now moved on. All of this magnetism never really served any true love that might have been between two living self-conscious souls, but instead went into the fleshless ghosts, who like a marriage deceased also, sucks on the bones of the past.
Instinctively it is very likely that what brought you to the therapies was the need to disassemble this past and disassociate from the cohort. The cohort by his own nature is willful, aggressive, demanding, controlling, impatient, and all of those things which took the life from the individual who was first hurled into chaos at that last breath. This is now the recovery time in which it is important to realize that you regret what part you might have had in it, and that nobody caused this finality, but yourself.
This is not what your ghost would say; his story would be different. But perhaps it is time now to take him in hand and be merciful enough to cease his sorry continuance.
Entertaining ghosts can be as creatively consuming as any other fixation. They become a natural depository for the conglomerate of thought-beings projected from the individual. They are substantial as a presence, even at times quite visible as well.
There might possibly be an inward hesitation at the reality of ceasing this relationship, even though you know that this presence is taking your future from you, with no care or concern for your wellbeing, just for its own survival. If you are enabled to leave this shell then this shell will fade its power, in time. This part of the past is not worth keeping, no matter what it may protest; and without it you will be enabled to love so much more, become and live in ways you intuitively long for. Know also, that there have been countless shells we have abandoned in the past, but only one true self which to this point remains.
By Christ we are entitled to decide such things for ourselves, and through Him this is enforced. There is not one being which can distract us away from our true natures, there is no individual who may require more than we can give to summon us; there is no god that can appeal to us without our consent. What a divine protection we have all been afforded! How forever-caring this is, that we can instantly be divorced from that which would consume us were it could!
It would be easy to confuse this ghost with a portion of yourself and find separating difficult. But the soul of your true self is with you and the elemental which commands its frame has its own destiny to go on to, which it shall. No longer are you going to allow it to see through your eyes and contaminate your sight. No more shall it speak to you through fear or from guilt… or from wanting.
May simple joys return to you, one by one, one on one - little and great goodnesses, blessings known and recognized. May Christ be with you, in both single and dual purpose throughout.
Feel and be worthy - as you are.