A Short Discussion on Keeping with a Good CONSCIENCE- 21st August 1991

MANY classify one's own conscience to be a distinctly separate and wholesome part, which is not entangled or embroiled in dilemma or the concerns of sin. Whether viewed as separate, of angelic or inner voice, the conscience when rarely focused upon, appears as a powerless authority that we may or may not consult should we choose to ignore its jibings and pleas.

That which is a conscience in a man, is that which is most bruised and battered by many a former err and misgiving. Separate be it to the personality, yes, but closer to that individuality which is most properly the man- far closer than the personality will ever be. The forming of the conscience within a man's consciousness and without (held in the auric metabolic memory so impressed) is paramount in retaining those experiences which identify a man with a man, and determine his humanity towards all.

One might suggest that the sum total of a man's progressive evolution is not in faculty enhancement but rather in fulfilling the realization of a high and according conscience.

In this respect when a man finds it most difficult to reach the concept of karma and perceive its instantaneous workings from the outset, one could say that this is extremely beneficial from the perspective of the nurturing of his conscience. That man does not feel duty-bound to acknowledge the law, divine and natural, but instead begins to discriminate out from those experiences and relies upon judgment which is not defined by fear of retribution to his acts. However, it is often the case that when a man's conscience has begun to be realized and is actively in place before all actions and concerns, one will find that the nature of karma is readily accepted and does not irk the individual at all. There is harmony in both viewpoints.

All judgments - and all living requires calls for endless responses namely: judgment - are turned inwards. All sympathies and antipathies return to a man. If a man is far removed from his proper sympathies and determines to dwell in the outer limits of a personality which denies those sympathies, then it is to the detriment of his suffering conscience. It is essential to reach the attitude of spirit whereby all that is connecting with a man may be interpreted and known inwardly. This is conscience. 

Therefore, when any one man steps beyond the bounds of concern, and in invasive act (or thought, for that matter) causes injury or imposition, he is in time made keenly aware of his liberties, so out of line. This is the path of true equality, that one soul may not push another soul out from his universe, his home or his happiness. In divine terms, there must be consideration and also a wonderful empathy so inspired, that through the multitude of kingdoms and divisions we come to find our true selves. This is conscience.

The conscience suffers pain much like physical pain, excepting that the pain is so profound and does not dissolve and is not made better. For in order for man to learn of the outward conditions which he inflicts himself upon, the conscience must suffer repeatedly and endure those sins of the past. One's Recording Angel is one's own conscience, and one's own conscience is in reality one's self. For it does release the soul from the pain which it should carry, and in this sense is separate to the personality. The personality is a refuge, and has privy as to choice of acknowledging or disassociating, according to the lower ego.

If one is to feel sympathy for one's own conscience, then feel also too, that for all others. Yet through this inner sacrifice we come to know of the worlds above and below. And there is much sweetness to endure such intimacy.

It does well to satisfy the cries of the conscience that we hear. Were one to practice listening, it becomes more and more apparent; remembering also, that in pleasing the bruised and beaten conscience we do in fact save ourselves.

After the passing from death to higher worlds, the personality is sheared away and we are what we are. We have full allowance given to us, we must consciously reunite with our higher faculties, and experience is had retrospectively through the recollections that they carry. So within us today we carry our own personal hell and purgatory, which is so saved for the appropriate time of reflection when gathered up and met with in death. 

We must absorb and assimilate those burdens (as well as those graces) which we carried lifelong. This too is a blessing of course, for one is given the opportunity for advanced insight with profound clarity to gauge the impressions one has effected in the world. Were we to be overwhelmed by such and dwelt consciously in the higher aspects of sympathy in daily life, we would probably take to bed and stay there- at least in this way of greeting the sum total of a life all at once. We have contrasts, contrasts which would not have been achieved and viewed if we had not erred at all.

From life to life we absorb this experience accordingly and carry with us the remainder - our conscience, our selves which have passed through the trials of our sins, our complete treasury of sympathies and subsequent intimacies which allow further communion without and within. The lower aspects within the constitution of man would have it that the conscience be suppressed and disregarded. There are many modes of conduct and practices in life which are very effective in temporarily abandoning the conscious acknowledgment of our selves: of our conscience. This is the component of sacrifice: the true martyr, one of our highest aspects and yet cast within a jail of vice; remembering that all sins divide a man from his humanity and injure himself accordingly.

When it is preached that morality is essential to development, there are many good reasons why this is so. Apart from the fact that the substance of Virtue is Cosmic and is life-giving in itself; apart from the fact that Virtues speak to us of the manifold aspects of the Father and His design; apart from the fact that the Virtues are demigods who will not be denied, and as such are imperially important to our understanding of the spiritual realities ... it is also so, that the cultivation of virtue is a wonderful healer to the conscience, that which is indeed ourself. All sins cause necessary, whilst unnecessary pain and confusion.

One could say, "Why wait?" Yes there is learning to be done and many mistakes still ahead - but why add one more or one thousand more, if it can be avoided by good clean living.

There are those who at this point, would query with haughty voice, as to the nature of morality and contest that no one really knows. They speculate that the wrongs and the rights of this world are without substance and so created by the moralists, having no direct bearing on reality. There is an answer to this: that they should begin to listen to their conscience if it is difficult for them to come to the realization: an awareness of 'good' defined and 'evil' so defined. If they cannot reconcile morality with immorality, then they must consult their own conscience.

It is possible that they have not yet the capacity for knowing of the intricate sympathies, that they have gleaned next to nothing in way of experience. Excepting, that we would suggest that if their behavior reflects their sorry attitude, then subsequently there would already be much suffering within their conscience - enough to come to know it, would that they could divorce the babblings of their lower self from the stifled inner voice.

Enough said of that.

A man is not easily defined. The conscience is but one of the higher aspects of an individual. Just as we have fingers and toes, and are yet still a whole person, we do have higher graces with divine implications that extend throughout our experiences. For there is much within Heaven that we may take into ourselves, and in order to do this progressively we must have the attracting constituents in the first place. Our ticket into other worlds, so to speak, is already part of our substance; that we might come to know them.

Did you know that every virtue has its own world and one may pay homage when death ensues? If the visit is to be enjoyed with some measure of consciousness, one must practice the acceptance into one's constitution of those vitalities which are peculiar to that virtue. 

From this hint one may gauge the service of the conscience, not only as protector from one becoming a creator of destruction, not only in acting as recorder and reminder, not only as entering into divine and objective sympathies, but also as a leader into gateways of realms and spheres at present unimagined. For those who enjoy travel and relish the experiences of wonder at those unknown landscapes with such colorful peoples therein, they might guess something of the joy that lies ahead in the heavenly trek.

So we must be mindful and respectful of our beloved conscience. With acceptance of ourselves, our higher selves, we can go forth in a new light of understanding, easing burdens within and without, setting courses of which the itinerary was long before planned.

So be it.

Rasputin- 20th August 1991

GREGORY EFIMOVITCH RASPUTIN was a man (half man, half wizard), who was a representative of the former ways of his people. Warmly sensual, sincerely sober in aspect, mesmerizingly commanding, he charmed and cajoled with a sophisticated will, with impenetrable eye and deceiving smile.

The European people may be defiant and stubborn, and firm of opinion at times; but they had also held an innocence, a childlike receptivity which embraced life and rejoiced in living; being primarily well intentioned, and where possible, exceedingly well-informed, with interests and curiosities akin firstly to artistic adaptations rather than abstract cunning.

One would expect a bear hug from a Russian man with a bulk that could crush you in an 'overbearing' manner. (Excuse the pun.) However, the point being, that these folk are tender lovers, with a vast capacity for passion. They are neither swift, but compelling, neither greedy, but hungry; neither naturally aggressive, but capable of unleashing a fiery rage if need be.

Had Rasputin travelled the Western worlds today, he should have been very popular indeed. For the cunning and contriving, for the best part, belonged mostly to those regions where men aspire to nobility; if not through blood, by personal conquests.

With centuries of old traditions and mystic doctrines which encompassed the richly embroidered magic of the religious and spiritual interpretations, Rasputin took into himself the essence as it were, and then turned such concoction into living vitalities put to the present. As if he might conjure all the ghosts from the past and bind them to his blood and his being, and pervert them, he was as a robber who came and stripped all that was mystically desirous, and defiled that which he left remaining.* Great injury was the consequence, great deformation, which left the core of the Russian racial soul stripped of its spiritual treasures and degraded.

One might ask how one man can affect a people so. And exactly what was it that he did take and convert? Imagine a holy object, say for example a cup of pure gold, which is a vestment to a church, and in deep ritual has been the bearer of the sacrament over many years, throughout many generations. This cup has significance, yet the robber sees only the value of the gold and does melt it down - perhaps it might turn out to make a chain to adorn the neck, or perhaps with coin to barter a meal. It was this type of betrayal which Rasputin brought upon his people; which dealt in not only the gold of shining ore, but also that of precepts, traditions, of teachings formerly kept locked within every man, woman and child: especial to them.

It is with no surprise that one finds that magicians are usually shunned and never trusted. And magician he was, for it was from the old laws and mystic devices that he practiced so as to take for himself, and put to bad purpose. If there was an overall view in the mind of Rasputin, it was never fully realized. But like a bull set loose in the street, there was so much carnage and mishap from that which he contrived.

When a people's pride has been whisked away and ransomed so, they are forlorn and disheveled. For it is more than difficult to replace in a single century that which has been worked upon for many a century.

However, with this qualification they may begin again, and now set course for an entirely different future. Nurtured in time, many flames will grow from the inward flicker and the challenges of re-embodying with an entirely different ego-awareness, shall be rekindled.

The painful service of Rasputin, has allowed for new opportunities, opportunities that the Eastern world have not. And so Mother Russia will peculiarly be progressively leading in an effort to re-find a spiritual denominator.

The archaic essences are now contained and hidden. Shelved. Much was distributed and lost . . . But much was captured and retained- only no longer held in Russia.

* Rudolf Steiner told Asya Turgeniev in 1916:

“Rasputin worked directly on the will. That should not be. But people want that. He really is an unrestrained man, the ‘Rasputin’ (Russian: one without a path). Everything said about him is true, but he is nevertheless a God-Seer, that is an occult term for a grade of initiation. It is only thru him that the spiritual world, the Russian Folk-Spirit, can now take effect in Russia, thru nobody else.”

~Rudolf Steiner, according to Assya Turgeneva in the early years of WW1, recorded in her book Erinnerugen an Rudolf Steiner.

"Thus with the death of Grigory Rasputin Russia was finally 'prepared' for its cross-like destiny."

-Quoted from The Spiritual Origins of Eastern Europe and the Future Mysteries of the Holy Grail by Sergei O. Prokofieff page 213. There is more on Rasputin in this book.

A Citric PERSPECTIVE- 17th August 1991

CITRUS fruits denote sweet acid. Contemplate the contrasts between the sensations: namely sweetness, fragrance and the sharpness of the accompanying acidic sting ...

We may compare our attitudes of concept forming to that of the experience of a good, freshly picked, juice impacted citrus fruit. When we come to try a teaching or a new thought and weigh it in measure with our former experience, and then by comparisons with spoken and unspoken truths, we may know of those qualities that appeal to our inner senses; just as keenly as we should experience the citrus. 

As concepts go, there are many that hang heavy on the tree of knowledge. To the personal sense, some may have been lost to decompose where fallen unclaimed, and with time spent turn to rancid waste. The acidic elements with water combine, split the skin and then weaken the form. Finally there is shrinkage or dissipation in final breakdown. What of the fruit left unhappily beneath the tree? It returns, absorbed through the ground, eventually making its way back to the bough; unless of course, it has been claimed.

Some might hurry to pluck the unripe and immature fruit - all sour and distasteful, and alarming to the unsuspecting, eager picker. The fragrance brings promise, but the sweetness yet to unfurl, green and unpalatable.

Some prefer marmalade, some prefer the juices expelled. Moreover the vitality is largely spent when one dilutes, adds or extracts long after the fruit has been first pried into.

May we put to test the offerings of wisdom, by the fragrance, the sweetness and the acidic bite. The nature of a truth does surely hold a spirited fragrance, which expels/emits an inner sensory notation, which speaks to us. The sweetness comes from Heaven herself: for all that is in truth cosmic and pure, is pleasing and sweet to the soul. The acid is the action of true clarity and vision, where illusion is put to the quick and dispelled in the light of right knowledge.

A Potpourri of Personalities & Fresh Flowers of Wisdom- 17th August 1991

The Homely man:

Well satisfied and uncomplaining, can make a home wherever the bed be put down, with cushions assorted. At ease with his station, obliging and with an enduring attitude of friendship. A big, broad handshake and smiling countenance. Works tenderly, faithful to family, has much love for simplicity and gives all, with expectations set so as to be achievable. Rarely suffers conflict, is sensitive to criticism. Tends to the garden. Does not speculate on fortune or fame.

Earth man

The Holy man:

With loving concern and much regret, cherishes the world and is pained by injustice. With deep set retrospection, he attempts the awkward, desires the unachievable. Aspires to values that he grieves for. Knows moments of exalted rewards, knows too the moments of depressing failure. Loves to love and hates to hate, and fulfills both. Calling for penance, unsettled in society; cleaves to a community, a people, and longs for the residence of Heaven as a bird who knows the circulations of flight, but e'er must return to stable earth for rest and repose.

Air man

The Artist:

Dances with inspiration through night until dawn, through troubles to glee; and derives much, each being equal. Seeking to remonstrate the beauty perceived, and to touch, to color, to hold essence of beloved Creation. Takes people as he finds them, and is comfortable in any society. Flip and uncommitted, unshackled, unrestrained. Discipline is not in vocabulary. Time and motion are unaccounted for. Bedazzled by experience, in awe of all Creation, be it Heaven or Earth; for does find the two's reflections imparted and in bonded union. Cleaves to glamorous surroundings, be them exotic or elaborate, indulgent, extreme or aesthetically pure. Cares not for moderation. Pays homage to life through the altar of favor and the relishing and embracing of Creation. Furious the passion.

Fire Man

The Quietly Persistent Man:

Ever enduring, with noble aspect and sombre countenance. Reflective and disciplined. Adjusts to circumstance without, whilst inwardly unshakeable. Knows and prefers the quiet existence. Hermit, recluse, divided, undecided. Perceives time and life to be a continuum. Discerns not with detail, but exclusive exactitude. Pursues courses unhindered, following self-directions, but adapts and works changes wherever involved, with a gentle disposition and steady constancy. Reliable, unthwarted, unimpressionable, as he moves within and around the world with inner calm. Melancholic the soul. When stirred to passion, rarely, may have unfathomable outbursts. With preferences evenly distributed, thoughts deeply kept and concealed. Not self-demonstrative. A face in a crowd, who moves amongst the people, keeping to himself.

Water Man

There are many influences and outer conditions, temperaments and qualities, which assist in defining the characteristics of a man and his personality. Whether zodiacal or animal, racial or socially equated, all aspects of an individual's constitution are complete, with some active whilst other aspects remain latent.

Just as one may not experience four seasons in one, or morning, noon, evening and midnight equally at once, man cannot express himself in all ways that are his very substance in existence. Rather he will shift with presumed qualities best suited and expressed, adopting characteristics which best befit him for that time. He will not go about with one eye blue and one eye brown, for example.

The key to understanding the nature of a man is to firstly examine both extremes of that which is plainly of benefit to such characteristics, and that which may be turned detrimental to activities flowing therefrom. The above outline given is to explain something of the extreme positive characteristics, which in their turn do have their lesser examples in personality and personal application.

All qualities have their commensurate weaknesses. The rule of the land certainly indicates this point. Therefore one might have unnatural limitations and unnatural expectations of an individual who is so motivated and expressive, peculiar to a specific type. In our efforts to restrain from judging others, it may be important to hold a concise overview as to the limitations of characteristics and their extreme and most glorious possibilities. This may be achieved without the need for personal criticisms; rather objectively- a lesson firstly in observation, and secondly, a further understanding of the powers and qualities an individual might hold.

Too often we set about to make molds for others, without self-considerations and self-reflections. This is understandable, for it is far more comfortable to realize another's imperfections than to confront one's own. So when one comes to choosing this or that which is desirable in our fellow brother, we may conjecture also, accordingly, of their corresponding qualities which accompany any failings, obvious to us.

Such analysis is relevant to ourselves and our attitudes. We make assumptions daily, consciously known or not. Better to re-establish coherently true value judgments than confuse or disregard an individual because of our unqualified surmise. 

Essentially we bring all judgments into ourselves - all assessments are inwardly weighed. Just as truly as that which we are intent upon is that which we become, also as truly, must we observe correctly each negative point to be balanced by a positive; and the two must correspondingly relate.

A man might be unselfish. He might be aglow with fiery warmth. He might offer many gifts, all of which may be useless.

Contrary to that, a man who does not make of his fellows with selfish intent, might indeed appear dispassionate and unconcerned. He may indulge in passionate activities to distraction, perhaps even to the point of decadence, but also too, impart a vital warmth which embraces all men, all women and all of the world. A man might offer you many a useless gift which is rejected and perhaps even troublesome, but the gift of the giving, and the spirit therein, may be cherished and received in gratitude.

There is a saying, that so and so is not "all bad". Neither have we the capacity of Angels to be "all good". When the 'bad' reforms to 'good' however, and such transformation is acknowledged by the soul, another set of values relative to that heightened status of character replaces the parameters formerly in place. 

From this perspective one may be disheartened unwittingly, but also find comfort that the progressiveness of character renewal is ongoing, and need not be so immediate as to break the individual attempting a personal struggle. Self-development and the panoramas which open out to the soul thereby, offer the individual a true zeal and encouragement in living a life. Contrasts which are born out from different conditions and experiences of expression are exciting and exhilarating to all who awaken to the multitude of variables awaiting new experience.

To cease the path of perfecting self-expression and to deny the skills of adaptation and survival is something of a false interpretation of reality, which is assumed by the smug and the lazy. However, the upshot to this is that the smug and the lazy are rear-end characteristics to being most grateful and content. If one is to shoulder these characteristics and balance them with perspective as to a cosmic insight, one would therefore have to experience in measure the opposing virtues which are dissatisfaction and perpetual striving. The rear-end of these being dissatisfaction and aggressive aggravation/disharmony.

Thus we live a colorful existence. We gain much experience by entering into phases of expression, and experience thereby. One does not disqualify or negate another. When put to the task, the object is to work through characteristics joyfully, proportioning them with the highest attributes whilst discarding the lower.

Every virtue has its rear-end.

Personality & Truth -15th August 1991

'THE EVANGELIST' subscribes to past historical events with worn-out accuracy; for the fragrances of past thought hang heavy over the man of religious aptitude. Whilst the doctrines may be hazy, to say the least, and the concepts more suited to an entirely different set of such doctrines, he is firstly inspired by the truth and looks secondly to the written documents to confer with and necessarily confirm all opinion.

'The Free Thinkers', who are personified in Modern Man, cling not to the treasures of their forefathers and are somewhat engulfed in motionless concepts which are almost intangibly vague. The price of freethinking is lack of commitment, for one may not commit oneself to daisy chains and spring air. One is usually bonded in commitment with bonds of restraint.

'The Materialist' inquires not and is easily content whilst also, easily discontent, disheartened and dissatisfied, for the values proposed by the materialist would never be realized for any length of time. The realities of the spiritual worlds reveal themselves to the unwilling as much as the welcoming. When one embraces the material world and gives over to its imperial demands, it thanklessly takes, giving of itself no hint as to the illusion it presumes.

'The Idealist' and the 'Samaritan', bear with humble fortitude the worries that others discard and pass on. They represent the all-time cleaners, and clearly are the 'sweepers' of all troubles - gathering and clearing, sorting and flinging them into piles of mountainous refuse, committing them to an allotted place.

'The Animal Lover' and 'The Botanic' do share happy happenstance in absorbing concerns with regard to the lower kingdoms. When worldly affairs are too fast and furious they make shelter in the work of tending to their younger brothers with consciously regarded responsibility. 

Rose and agriculture shows, dog shows and the occasional protests - their social calendar may be so divided as to exclude much human interest. This is why those who work on behalf of 'animal rights' are not firstly affording their time to conditions pertaining to human conditions and injustices, for they seek certain forfeit from a humanity which enters into conflict and disharmony. Not all are the same of course, but many are similar in this respect.

Then there is the 'Immoral Man', who knows better, but does not know better. In time he shall find the fruits of his scheming and indeed be gratified, much in ways unconsidered. To cheat or lie, or make a game of the world, rewards in the necessary instruction which such activities bring. He is busy rattling bones, whilst others try just to survive. 

The treadmill of misguided pursuit eventually tires both con-man and rat. The self-deluded have replaced hope with false contentment, and have not the will for courage, but rather fly introspectively when challenged by the world.

The 'False Martyr' criticizes with harsh judgment, neither reconciling loved ones nor himself. In painful irritated perspective, he has not time for corrections, for is taken so with complaints and reluctant offerings. When grudgingly placed before the entrance to Heaven, he does not tremble at the magnitude or glory, but rather wilfully complains with disappointment. When seeing the weeds in the garden and not the happy petalled faces or dishevelled bush, he seeks to tidy, rather than appreciate. Such perspective is shot with continual malady of personality: the disposition of criticism. All men eventually irk these poor individuals, as they do inwardly judge their upset by others.

The 'Gambling Man' looks to dice and such omens to determine his fate. Rather than taking the future in hand and seeking to master a destiny, or at least make an attempt thereof, they trivialize their affections and interrelations by humbling all circumstance into a game of chance. They view the world by doing this, with cruel and excited/frightened perspective. For they truly believe that all life is determined by the accident of equal options; which may be correct as far as the moment, but is personally determined by man or by a god, and never the hand that holds the dice - it does so by accident.

The evolutionists themselves should be the first to consider with reverence the magnificent 'odds' of the great divine plan. But gambling men are subjective and do not consider the stakes outside of their own losses and gains - usually uncharitable and unwilling to give, without result or recognition.

The 'Artistic Individual' is divided between the condition of rapture and the torment of duty. Happy is the artist who may balance the two. For the force of will required to answer to one's duties is often given over in the appreciation of heavenly affinities. Man must be duly occupied at all times in order to steer from madness back into sanity. 

The Earth calls and demands its due attention. Limitations are set at every turning. Inspirations return, crashing back into lesser realities, and one must draw the best from both. Oblige the world to appreciate fully the offerings of Heaven.

The 'Mechanic', the rational man, perceives with lusty indulgence, the biology of all systems as system first, biology second. With formulas and cogs and wheels, the maintenance of a system may well be mistaken as the nature or character of a system. There are car lovers who are skilful with engines and all the bits and pieces internal to the operation, and there are car lovers who rather the external qualities, as in big, red and sports etc. Some hold to the systems of the world, in medicine, in philosophy, in all of the sciences, as being dissectably patterned (which in part is true); however also characterless. With cool concern but intrigue as to the working parts, the objective mechanic assembles and disassembles with rational perfection, with no vision as to the nature of the whole. They also make for good evolutionists. 

Life is not as predictable as we would have it. We choose to ignore this fact as it is unsavory to say the least. The Idealist does depend on this however, placing hope with positive vision before all else.

In summary, we have those individuals who do perceive the present in view of the past. Then we have those who construe the present in the light of their disqualifying upsets. Then we have individuals who take the vision of the structures and superstructures in part and determine thereby. Then we have the visionaries, 'Selfless Visionaries', who may or may not make real that which is to be the future of all. 

The Artist may be sustained by idealism. Idealism is a comforter, for more than anything it too is founded upon realities of purpose of the future and of vision. 

The False Martyr would benefit greatly from the Rational Mechanic, so as to begin to learn the workings of that which he despises and put it aright - to compel to understand, rather than object. 

The Evangelist has much to glean from the modern day Artist's appreciations, as does the Modern Man, with the Evangelist, making note of the gratitude due to his forefathers. 

The Gambling Man would do well to seek out the Botanists and Animal Husbandry individuals, who give concern to the lesser, without the gratification of personal gain - a little manure brings a certain reality to bear.

Characteristics of men, their shortcomings, their peculiar bent, are provoked in certain strains, which are predictably, analytically, determinable almost from the first. The personality may be fickle indeed, but does fall into patterns of behavior as certainly as one's birthday does fall on a particular day on the calendar. 

Tendencies are obligated, but once realized are open to self-correction. Up until our last breath we are given opportunities for change, reassertion and balance. Some tendencies to view the world are more harmful than others, in regards to Wisdom's calling. 

The Moderate man, who may 'tone down' certain attitudes of personality, may swing in and out of changing patterns which were otherwise inhibiting full communion with the world. Certain times of the year are more conducive to changes than others. The larger part is expended in youth, with its commensurate vitality. 

As a man settles down into maturity and is so moderated, so too are his behavioral tendencies, and so in this respect it is untrue to say that one becomes more and more fixed in one's behavior as time moves on. Rather, such adopted characteristics lessen and others rise - for better or for worse - as the constitution is so altered. 

Gurdjieff was quite mistaken in his belief that one may educate only the young, for the wisdom that is invoked through years of failure, is achieved through such. The fact that followers of set paths are attracted at an early age only testifies to the exuberance of youth, which does in time accordingly settle down, whoever they are. Those very youth discard and disassemble, making many a definite and pertinent choice which is relative to them in later years; regardless of their shining early enlightenments. The trials and changes, the learning in later life, is no less significant; rather more greatly significant, for there are many more opportunities for reflection and gathering, for perspective and perspectives later on in life, rather than earlier.

There are those who exclaim "If only I knew then, what I know now!" the "then" having brought them to the "now", being vital to the "now". There must be no regrets, only grateful learning. 

True purpose that is vein-infilled, may be apparent in fits and starts in the gawky teenager who struggles towards self-control and understandably delights in the world and its offerings. However, the youth have so much to learn to measure by, which only the years will offer. Instantaneous realizations are credible, and when enjoyed may bring happy memories to those who are enlightened so, earlier rather than later. But if the conduct of the individual exceeds the values and demotes the ideals, then the preceding revelations will be cast to the wind.

All of us suffer afflictions of personality and behavioral quirks which again and again contest the receiving the wisdom. And so with vigilance we identify that which we know to be injurious to our true self, and thereby quieten or at best dismiss it. 

Go forward in the good times, with vision held to future possibilities. If we view a brother who is handicapped by a certain fashioning, a particular personality, then it is for us to understand the bondages thereof and make allowances for such.

Truth passes into a man and is received regardless of personality. Whether recognized or not, truth finds its way in. The doorkeeper (the personality) to the heart, may be blind to Truth's shadow, as he slips his way past into the soul. Or he might acknowledge him as friend and bid him entrance. When we converse with another, be mindful not to judge a soul by his doorkeeper, and speak from the heart, as we should be spoken to. 

Many stages to grief-13th August 1991

THERE are many stages to grief - denial being one of them. Shortly upon entering life, we grieve for the heavens, and some subsequently spend an entire life in denial of such loss.

Intimacy- 10th August 1991

Hallelujah and salutations!

Putting on my top fez, top turban, top hat! There should be music symbols on this keyboard. A splendid morning to you all, to you all.

888

THERE can be many ways in which an individual can allow himself or herself to be intimately connected with another. Although one usually infers a very blatant supposition that implies being intimate with bodily connotations - sharing the bed, engaging in private relations as expressions of mutual desires or longings, and so forth. However there is a vast range of intimate relations one may transact in from one to another, whereupon the heart and mind communicate that which was previously unspeakable or unheard. 

As the past beckons us forth into the moment there are times in which the moment may be experienced intensely with two or three; perhaps two or three hundred. There becomes an extreme shift in identity whereupon the individual who is usually self-enclosed and self-absorbed, gives over with such interest to another, that he may separate off from his guard - the personality - and step beyond his established confines, entering into the sphere of another who has invited such presence. This is intimacy.

For some, the closest understanding of such relations is expressed solely through the physical magic; implied or performed. The individual who otherwise suppresses his common urges, does impart clouds of stimulating chaos surrounding the would-be partner of his desire. Whether or not there is a physical response, there is an attempt at a certain private communication. For many, the realm of intimate relations will not extend further than this primal experience.

Also too, there are many forms of physical expression which are essentially dependent on the character, nature, constitution and age of the individual. Some expressions within human relations have little or no bearing on inner communication at all, if there is anger turned upon another. There is no participating intimacy in acts of aggression, only physical acts which mimic such intimacy.

The humble handshake, the touch of a hand, an arm around a shoulder, a twinkling-eye related message, and so forth, need be the act from one to another that intimates the impulsive intensiveness of the moment shared. We do not allude to the mysteries of propagation today, but one does know the differences between the electrifying handshake and the feeble - and the charge, as it were that can be ever so apparent, in a room of enlightened argument or deep conversation.

Some individuals are as a perpetual whirlwind of activity and are lavishly expressive, even in the most minor circumstances. Some are not so easily fired but receive and take in the world into themselves every impression, given and felt. But for the steady and moderate man who is usually self-contained and politely at call, there are episodes which one can gauge, of extraordinary mutual communication.

This communication, intimate communication, may happen upon a man so infrequently, that with tearful gratitude he mistakes explicit conference for that of the sole-love betwixt a couple. Our love may of course be shared with many, many folk, when one comes to know and appreciate their gentle soul.

However, sole-love in the bonded marriage-of-two sense of the word, is a different matter entirely. The purpose of marriage need not enter into such relationships, otherwise we would all be bigamists. Nor should we reservedly confuse the two. The mutual enterprise of marriage so consummated is the higher aspect, born of the consideration of such intimacy, yes, but does not exclude an appreciation of the rest of humanity. For then the two as one, become then introverted and begin to know not the world. This in no respect means to imply the sharing of the marital bed or that which is held to be private and most sacred to that marriage.

But nonetheless we draw distinctions that suggest that in toto the world generally is without intimacy, and hungers for true and honest communications that need not be reserved only inside of a marriage. Indeed, a good solid marriage may impart something of itself to those who do enter into the sphere of its harmonious interactions. There is much to be gleaned from a good example and from those who with caring and social considerations, follow through with relevant and according interest.

Small talk and introspection is so suffered in social relations, not only through the expressions of strings of words which carry on so, but in the very attitude and nature of those imparting those empty shells. They are but false food and as such sustain very little. Small wonder that those who are finally touched by intimate thoughts and subsequent revelations, hold to these moments with tender consideration.

When folk dream of Paradise it is not to the surroundings that they allude to, or to the fruits or climate, or any external notion of that condition. The vision of Paradise is sweetened by the love experienced without and within such condition. Certainly, a paradise which did not accommodate an inner world of delightful responsiveness, an inner soul-communication that breathed throughout every thread of every fiber from plant to being, would surely not be Paradise at all.

If we hearken back to the experiences of our earlier years, with fondest reminiscences invoked it is with recollection for the intimate relations which touched us, spoke to us inwardly. The exterior world lessened thereby in overwhelming significance and the inner realities prevailed where there was inner commune.

There are souls who are so depressed, so dismayed, who truly wish for intimacy, but replace these impulses with exterior intoxications that are self-fulfilling, yet self-depriving in their aspects. It is as if the 'need for communication' is so disappointed with its findings that it no longer strives out from the man, and is answered artificially through means of wine or similar exterial persuaders. Second best: "If I can't have communication or the experience of intimacy, I'll settle for the illusion thereof".

Eventually the man is driven yet deeper into the confines of a secluded and repressed being, for the quality of intimate experience is so deprived by these means. The soul recognizes what is true and what is false, and knows exactly upon what terms and on what levels, an interaction is being conducted. Whether consciously realized or not, it is the soul who seeks its relations and connections with the outer world; amidst the babble and meaningless infrastructure of social niceties.

One may predetermine the outcome of many a circumstance. For those who are disappointed and set their expectations on the lower aspects of human relations, they are easily fulfilled. Sometimes it appears far easier to hold to expectations based on past disappointments and gauge the outcomes so put in place from the onset.

But also, one may have optimism that encourages one to break away from such disappointments and reach out (unconditionally), turning the impersonal into the personal. We spend so much time inhibiting interest and concern, inhibiting conscience, restraining desires and inquiries until at last we become really very good at it. Then through artificial attempts at making the world become friendly to us, we replace the life and vitality of a situation with more life-defying activities - each under his own rock, under the shelter of dishonesties, mutual murmurs and shallow social niceties. Folk can be found hiding behind badges, in bottles, in packs of cards, playing jokers or queens - as a room full of mirrors, with each behind the mirror, only giving back that which they see and taking all men to be as themselves.

Intimacy is experienced firstly when folk give of themselves. When one's attention is called for, it is given for that time completely; not suppressed and not distracted; with not suspicion or compulsion, with no preconceived adulterations: "Yes, here I am, this is me, we shall talk for a while". And then with due response and equal openness soul to soul, there is communication, intimate communication.

What are we saving ourselves for, when we hold back from honesty, when we care little, when we offer one tenth of ourselves to ourselves and then to our brother? Spend and replenish. This is the way. Move from the old unto the new. Renewal - constant activity, constant change and constant renewal. Why hold back, why save ourselves?

It is because there was a time back in memory, when we were rebuked. And because of that, we fear more rebuke. Rebuke is fine if warranted. Sure, we need not go out of our way to upset or make unhappy another, but in regards to intimacy, this is not in question. Any act of imposition is not a measure of intimacy. But in order to make ourselves comfortable in our position in the world, and those who make ourselves comfortable in our position in the world and those who make up our world, it is essential that we do not deny the possibilities of intimate communications and relationships that are held within the moment.

Learn to lengthen the vocabulary and share the meanings of the words. Men may establish catch phrases, and swing in and out of conversations based upon a vocabulary neat to the order of one hundred or five hundred words; and this may be blandly comfortable. In that number, the limits of the conversation which is to be shared will be somewhat determined; and by the limited understanding of those words.

Why do we adhere to that which we are used to? When in good company one may pick up a dictionary and share or discover anew. This is most stimulating. Even if the meanings are not reached, they are attempted. Even if the concepts and their attached definitions are gone a minute later, they have been worked upon. There is much intimacy in mutual study.

So one can see that it is not only the baring of one's inner self that does partake in the experience of mutual communication, of intimate association, but also too in the experiences of the moment that come from this beginning. The quality of such interactions will be the brighter, more colorful and more intensely illuminating, when working from the bare character of a man rather than the exterior semiautomatic personality so motivated.

Summer Springs In Whilst Winter Falls- 8th August 1991

The words 'spring to mind' as a fountain bubbling up; and each and every phrase is snatched and put to type in succession.
Playing pass the parcel with words and concepts.

THERE is nothing of comparison quite alike to the change of seasons on those days when warmth returns to air and scent, and imparts joy to those who bask in the newly sun-filled days. Bemingled, a tingling relaxation, an inner rejoicing of a summery day after a long cold chill. Of course the keenness of such experience, does largely depend on which part of the hemisphere one happens to be in. But to many there are gradients of days and their properties relative to this experience.

When the sun sweeps over the alpine ranges, the crisp sharp air is infilled with an awakening. The frosts sparkle, as the pale golden light turns to a brilliant radiance. All that awaits under the ground responds in orchestrated delight.

These aspects in warmer regions are felt to degrees somewhat higher and heavier in tone and vibrancy. Rather than subtle, the new warmth is sultry, almost sensual and so provocative as the days do lengthen with sophisticated finesse.

It is best on these days where the warmth overrides those dark quiescent periods, to take oneself to those special country places and take in all manner of rejoicing. In woody regions, to seaside, pastures and country gardens are the impulses which draw the birth-pains of expectation forecalling summer days to come.

These days are as an exaggerated sunrise which may be experienced for a spell that encompasses the full day, for over a week or so. The calendar shifts accordingly, but one knows of this beginning, until the days will settle down and eventually tire, becoming thin again, becoming shorter.

When one recalls new love, it is as with those recollections of these periods where the onset of Summer springs around. Sadly there are those who may miss these days of etheric joy, because of confines that permit not the experience of earthly rapture.

One's year is much alike to one single twenty-four hour day. Therefore there are activities most suited to those periods corresponding. There is a time for rest and a time for waking followed by subsequent activity. This may be easily charted, with a viewpoint to conditions which are especial to one's corresponding pursuits.

With this implication, the New Year, quite rightly, would be experienced on many a different day for different regions. Also of course, the ebb and flow of qualities and impulses - midnight and midday - have their corresponding activities relative to the year's progress. Overall, who can say from what point on the Globe it begins and therefore predetermines the rest? But as night follows day, the seasons revolve and the sunrise period of the year is held most fondly in experience. If one were to dissect the hours, they too would hold similar rhythms. Dissect the overtures of centuries and they also have night and day episodic heartbeat cycles.

There are corresponding points on the Globe, which in opposite impart conditions to another - the principle of the active and passive, whereby one draws and deflects from another. Whilst overall, the messenger of the new days to come travels around flitting from one to another in successive bounds.

Globetrotting international travelers are sensitive to the adjustments required in relation to the impulses and rhythms so dramatically altered. The patterns of sleep are not the only rhythms rearranged and interrupted. But who can say what is tonic from the virtues of change with its demands?

There is much that strains the constitution of man today that hitherto was never in question. Locally, the artificial lights and temperatures, which are ever consistent, are as confusing if not more confusing to those who remain, than those who are thus stimulated by overseas travel. One has only to view plants that are climate-controlled to realize that the differences are marked, and extremes cannot be prolonged indefinitely without great loss. Many a rubber plant, in many a shopping mall!

This is not to suggest that we all brave the elements, depriving ourselves of the protection therefrom. However, exposure to those qualities of the day which signal the beneficent impulses is imperative to those changes we command - a certain flexing of strength, and so forth. 

It is interesting to find that the notion as expressed above about the nature of the year being quite similar to the daily conduct is less known intuitively by the control-climate man who is deprived of such experience that works its way through to the consciousness. Although still very much affected by that which presents itself during the course of the year, he is at a loss as to knowing innately, that which prevails at those times.

Rather be sludgeing a little snow or sweating a mite, than not at all. In the very least to be in touch with those elements that swirl and sweep around our small homes; and especially so in the periods of the year that bring sunrise to the year and radiate much longed for new love! For we are comforted internally by this: the returning of warmth.