Personality & Truth -15th August 1991

'THE EVANGELIST' subscribes to past historical events with worn-out accuracy; for the fragrances of past thought hang heavy over the man of religious aptitude. Whilst the doctrines may be hazy, to say the least, and the concepts more suited to an entirely different set of such doctrines, he is firstly inspired by the truth and looks secondly to the written documents to confer with and necessarily confirm all opinion.

'The Free Thinkers', who are personified in Modern Man, cling not to the treasures of their forefathers and are somewhat engulfed in motionless concepts which are almost intangibly vague. The price of freethinking is lack of commitment, for one may not commit oneself to daisy chains and spring air. One is usually bonded in commitment with bonds of restraint.

'The Materialist' inquires not and is easily content whilst also, easily discontent, disheartened and dissatisfied, for the values proposed by the materialist would never be realized for any length of time. The realities of the spiritual worlds reveal themselves to the unwilling as much as the welcoming. When one embraces the material world and gives over to its imperial demands, it thanklessly takes, giving of itself no hint as to the illusion it presumes.

'The Idealist' and the 'Samaritan', bear with humble fortitude the worries that others discard and pass on. They represent the all-time cleaners, and clearly are the 'sweepers' of all troubles - gathering and clearing, sorting and flinging them into piles of mountainous refuse, committing them to an allotted place.

'The Animal Lover' and 'The Botanic' do share happy happenstance in absorbing concerns with regard to the lower kingdoms. When worldly affairs are too fast and furious they make shelter in the work of tending to their younger brothers with consciously regarded responsibility. 

Rose and agriculture shows, dog shows and the occasional protests - their social calendar may be so divided as to exclude much human interest. This is why those who work on behalf of 'animal rights' are not firstly affording their time to conditions pertaining to human conditions and injustices, for they seek certain forfeit from a humanity which enters into conflict and disharmony. Not all are the same of course, but many are similar in this respect.

Then there is the 'Immoral Man', who knows better, but does not know better. In time he shall find the fruits of his scheming and indeed be gratified, much in ways unconsidered. To cheat or lie, or make a game of the world, rewards in the necessary instruction which such activities bring. He is busy rattling bones, whilst others try just to survive. 

The treadmill of misguided pursuit eventually tires both con-man and rat. The self-deluded have replaced hope with false contentment, and have not the will for courage, but rather fly introspectively when challenged by the world.

The 'False Martyr' criticizes with harsh judgment, neither reconciling loved ones nor himself. In painful irritated perspective, he has not time for corrections, for is taken so with complaints and reluctant offerings. When grudgingly placed before the entrance to Heaven, he does not tremble at the magnitude or glory, but rather wilfully complains with disappointment. When seeing the weeds in the garden and not the happy petalled faces or dishevelled bush, he seeks to tidy, rather than appreciate. Such perspective is shot with continual malady of personality: the disposition of criticism. All men eventually irk these poor individuals, as they do inwardly judge their upset by others.

The 'Gambling Man' looks to dice and such omens to determine his fate. Rather than taking the future in hand and seeking to master a destiny, or at least make an attempt thereof, they trivialize their affections and interrelations by humbling all circumstance into a game of chance. They view the world by doing this, with cruel and excited/frightened perspective. For they truly believe that all life is determined by the accident of equal options; which may be correct as far as the moment, but is personally determined by man or by a god, and never the hand that holds the dice - it does so by accident.

The evolutionists themselves should be the first to consider with reverence the magnificent 'odds' of the great divine plan. But gambling men are subjective and do not consider the stakes outside of their own losses and gains - usually uncharitable and unwilling to give, without result or recognition.

The 'Artistic Individual' is divided between the condition of rapture and the torment of duty. Happy is the artist who may balance the two. For the force of will required to answer to one's duties is often given over in the appreciation of heavenly affinities. Man must be duly occupied at all times in order to steer from madness back into sanity. 

The Earth calls and demands its due attention. Limitations are set at every turning. Inspirations return, crashing back into lesser realities, and one must draw the best from both. Oblige the world to appreciate fully the offerings of Heaven.

The 'Mechanic', the rational man, perceives with lusty indulgence, the biology of all systems as system first, biology second. With formulas and cogs and wheels, the maintenance of a system may well be mistaken as the nature or character of a system. There are car lovers who are skilful with engines and all the bits and pieces internal to the operation, and there are car lovers who rather the external qualities, as in big, red and sports etc. Some hold to the systems of the world, in medicine, in philosophy, in all of the sciences, as being dissectably patterned (which in part is true); however also characterless. With cool concern but intrigue as to the working parts, the objective mechanic assembles and disassembles with rational perfection, with no vision as to the nature of the whole. They also make for good evolutionists. 

Life is not as predictable as we would have it. We choose to ignore this fact as it is unsavory to say the least. The Idealist does depend on this however, placing hope with positive vision before all else.

In summary, we have those individuals who do perceive the present in view of the past. Then we have those who construe the present in the light of their disqualifying upsets. Then we have individuals who take the vision of the structures and superstructures in part and determine thereby. Then we have the visionaries, 'Selfless Visionaries', who may or may not make real that which is to be the future of all. 

The Artist may be sustained by idealism. Idealism is a comforter, for more than anything it too is founded upon realities of purpose of the future and of vision. 

The False Martyr would benefit greatly from the Rational Mechanic, so as to begin to learn the workings of that which he despises and put it aright - to compel to understand, rather than object. 

The Evangelist has much to glean from the modern day Artist's appreciations, as does the Modern Man, with the Evangelist, making note of the gratitude due to his forefathers. 

The Gambling Man would do well to seek out the Botanists and Animal Husbandry individuals, who give concern to the lesser, without the gratification of personal gain - a little manure brings a certain reality to bear.

Characteristics of men, their shortcomings, their peculiar bent, are provoked in certain strains, which are predictably, analytically, determinable almost from the first. The personality may be fickle indeed, but does fall into patterns of behavior as certainly as one's birthday does fall on a particular day on the calendar. 

Tendencies are obligated, but once realized are open to self-correction. Up until our last breath we are given opportunities for change, reassertion and balance. Some tendencies to view the world are more harmful than others, in regards to Wisdom's calling. 

The Moderate man, who may 'tone down' certain attitudes of personality, may swing in and out of changing patterns which were otherwise inhibiting full communion with the world. Certain times of the year are more conducive to changes than others. The larger part is expended in youth, with its commensurate vitality. 

As a man settles down into maturity and is so moderated, so too are his behavioral tendencies, and so in this respect it is untrue to say that one becomes more and more fixed in one's behavior as time moves on. Rather, such adopted characteristics lessen and others rise - for better or for worse - as the constitution is so altered. 

Gurdjieff was quite mistaken in his belief that one may educate only the young, for the wisdom that is invoked through years of failure, is achieved through such. The fact that followers of set paths are attracted at an early age only testifies to the exuberance of youth, which does in time accordingly settle down, whoever they are. Those very youth discard and disassemble, making many a definite and pertinent choice which is relative to them in later years; regardless of their shining early enlightenments. The trials and changes, the learning in later life, is no less significant; rather more greatly significant, for there are many more opportunities for reflection and gathering, for perspective and perspectives later on in life, rather than earlier.

There are those who exclaim "If only I knew then, what I know now!" the "then" having brought them to the "now", being vital to the "now". There must be no regrets, only grateful learning. 

True purpose that is vein-infilled, may be apparent in fits and starts in the gawky teenager who struggles towards self-control and understandably delights in the world and its offerings. However, the youth have so much to learn to measure by, which only the years will offer. Instantaneous realizations are credible, and when enjoyed may bring happy memories to those who are enlightened so, earlier rather than later. But if the conduct of the individual exceeds the values and demotes the ideals, then the preceding revelations will be cast to the wind.

All of us suffer afflictions of personality and behavioral quirks which again and again contest the receiving the wisdom. And so with vigilance we identify that which we know to be injurious to our true self, and thereby quieten or at best dismiss it. 

Go forward in the good times, with vision held to future possibilities. If we view a brother who is handicapped by a certain fashioning, a particular personality, then it is for us to understand the bondages thereof and make allowances for such.

Truth passes into a man and is received regardless of personality. Whether recognized or not, truth finds its way in. The doorkeeper (the personality) to the heart, may be blind to Truth's shadow, as he slips his way past into the soul. Or he might acknowledge him as friend and bid him entrance. When we converse with another, be mindful not to judge a soul by his doorkeeper, and speak from the heart, as we should be spoken to. 

Many stages to grief-13th August 1991

THERE are many stages to grief - denial being one of them. Shortly upon entering life, we grieve for the heavens, and some subsequently spend an entire life in denial of such loss.

Intimacy- 10th August 1991

Hallelujah and salutations!

Putting on my top fez, top turban, top hat! There should be music symbols on this keyboard. A splendid morning to you all, to you all.

888

THERE can be many ways in which an individual can allow himself or herself to be intimately connected with another. Although one usually infers a very blatant supposition that implies being intimate with bodily connotations - sharing the bed, engaging in private relations as expressions of mutual desires or longings, and so forth. However there is a vast range of intimate relations one may transact in from one to another, whereupon the heart and mind communicate that which was previously unspeakable or unheard. 

As the past beckons us forth into the moment there are times in which the moment may be experienced intensely with two or three; perhaps two or three hundred. There becomes an extreme shift in identity whereupon the individual who is usually self-enclosed and self-absorbed, gives over with such interest to another, that he may separate off from his guard - the personality - and step beyond his established confines, entering into the sphere of another who has invited such presence. This is intimacy.

For some, the closest understanding of such relations is expressed solely through the physical magic; implied or performed. The individual who otherwise suppresses his common urges, does impart clouds of stimulating chaos surrounding the would-be partner of his desire. Whether or not there is a physical response, there is an attempt at a certain private communication. For many, the realm of intimate relations will not extend further than this primal experience.

Also too, there are many forms of physical expression which are essentially dependent on the character, nature, constitution and age of the individual. Some expressions within human relations have little or no bearing on inner communication at all, if there is anger turned upon another. There is no participating intimacy in acts of aggression, only physical acts which mimic such intimacy.

The humble handshake, the touch of a hand, an arm around a shoulder, a twinkling-eye related message, and so forth, need be the act from one to another that intimates the impulsive intensiveness of the moment shared. We do not allude to the mysteries of propagation today, but one does know the differences between the electrifying handshake and the feeble - and the charge, as it were that can be ever so apparent, in a room of enlightened argument or deep conversation.

Some individuals are as a perpetual whirlwind of activity and are lavishly expressive, even in the most minor circumstances. Some are not so easily fired but receive and take in the world into themselves every impression, given and felt. But for the steady and moderate man who is usually self-contained and politely at call, there are episodes which one can gauge, of extraordinary mutual communication.

This communication, intimate communication, may happen upon a man so infrequently, that with tearful gratitude he mistakes explicit conference for that of the sole-love betwixt a couple. Our love may of course be shared with many, many folk, when one comes to know and appreciate their gentle soul.

However, sole-love in the bonded marriage-of-two sense of the word, is a different matter entirely. The purpose of marriage need not enter into such relationships, otherwise we would all be bigamists. Nor should we reservedly confuse the two. The mutual enterprise of marriage so consummated is the higher aspect, born of the consideration of such intimacy, yes, but does not exclude an appreciation of the rest of humanity. For then the two as one, become then introverted and begin to know not the world. This in no respect means to imply the sharing of the marital bed or that which is held to be private and most sacred to that marriage.

But nonetheless we draw distinctions that suggest that in toto the world generally is without intimacy, and hungers for true and honest communications that need not be reserved only inside of a marriage. Indeed, a good solid marriage may impart something of itself to those who do enter into the sphere of its harmonious interactions. There is much to be gleaned from a good example and from those who with caring and social considerations, follow through with relevant and according interest.

Small talk and introspection is so suffered in social relations, not only through the expressions of strings of words which carry on so, but in the very attitude and nature of those imparting those empty shells. They are but false food and as such sustain very little. Small wonder that those who are finally touched by intimate thoughts and subsequent revelations, hold to these moments with tender consideration.

When folk dream of Paradise it is not to the surroundings that they allude to, or to the fruits or climate, or any external notion of that condition. The vision of Paradise is sweetened by the love experienced without and within such condition. Certainly, a paradise which did not accommodate an inner world of delightful responsiveness, an inner soul-communication that breathed throughout every thread of every fiber from plant to being, would surely not be Paradise at all.

If we hearken back to the experiences of our earlier years, with fondest reminiscences invoked it is with recollection for the intimate relations which touched us, spoke to us inwardly. The exterior world lessened thereby in overwhelming significance and the inner realities prevailed where there was inner commune.

There are souls who are so depressed, so dismayed, who truly wish for intimacy, but replace these impulses with exterior intoxications that are self-fulfilling, yet self-depriving in their aspects. It is as if the 'need for communication' is so disappointed with its findings that it no longer strives out from the man, and is answered artificially through means of wine or similar exterial persuaders. Second best: "If I can't have communication or the experience of intimacy, I'll settle for the illusion thereof".

Eventually the man is driven yet deeper into the confines of a secluded and repressed being, for the quality of intimate experience is so deprived by these means. The soul recognizes what is true and what is false, and knows exactly upon what terms and on what levels, an interaction is being conducted. Whether consciously realized or not, it is the soul who seeks its relations and connections with the outer world; amidst the babble and meaningless infrastructure of social niceties.

One may predetermine the outcome of many a circumstance. For those who are disappointed and set their expectations on the lower aspects of human relations, they are easily fulfilled. Sometimes it appears far easier to hold to expectations based on past disappointments and gauge the outcomes so put in place from the onset.

But also, one may have optimism that encourages one to break away from such disappointments and reach out (unconditionally), turning the impersonal into the personal. We spend so much time inhibiting interest and concern, inhibiting conscience, restraining desires and inquiries until at last we become really very good at it. Then through artificial attempts at making the world become friendly to us, we replace the life and vitality of a situation with more life-defying activities - each under his own rock, under the shelter of dishonesties, mutual murmurs and shallow social niceties. Folk can be found hiding behind badges, in bottles, in packs of cards, playing jokers or queens - as a room full of mirrors, with each behind the mirror, only giving back that which they see and taking all men to be as themselves.

Intimacy is experienced firstly when folk give of themselves. When one's attention is called for, it is given for that time completely; not suppressed and not distracted; with not suspicion or compulsion, with no preconceived adulterations: "Yes, here I am, this is me, we shall talk for a while". And then with due response and equal openness soul to soul, there is communication, intimate communication.

What are we saving ourselves for, when we hold back from honesty, when we care little, when we offer one tenth of ourselves to ourselves and then to our brother? Spend and replenish. This is the way. Move from the old unto the new. Renewal - constant activity, constant change and constant renewal. Why hold back, why save ourselves?

It is because there was a time back in memory, when we were rebuked. And because of that, we fear more rebuke. Rebuke is fine if warranted. Sure, we need not go out of our way to upset or make unhappy another, but in regards to intimacy, this is not in question. Any act of imposition is not a measure of intimacy. But in order to make ourselves comfortable in our position in the world, and those who make ourselves comfortable in our position in the world and those who make up our world, it is essential that we do not deny the possibilities of intimate communications and relationships that are held within the moment.

Learn to lengthen the vocabulary and share the meanings of the words. Men may establish catch phrases, and swing in and out of conversations based upon a vocabulary neat to the order of one hundred or five hundred words; and this may be blandly comfortable. In that number, the limits of the conversation which is to be shared will be somewhat determined; and by the limited understanding of those words.

Why do we adhere to that which we are used to? When in good company one may pick up a dictionary and share or discover anew. This is most stimulating. Even if the meanings are not reached, they are attempted. Even if the concepts and their attached definitions are gone a minute later, they have been worked upon. There is much intimacy in mutual study.

So one can see that it is not only the baring of one's inner self that does partake in the experience of mutual communication, of intimate association, but also too in the experiences of the moment that come from this beginning. The quality of such interactions will be the brighter, more colorful and more intensely illuminating, when working from the bare character of a man rather than the exterior semiautomatic personality so motivated.

Summer Springs In Whilst Winter Falls- 8th August 1991

The words 'spring to mind' as a fountain bubbling up; and each and every phrase is snatched and put to type in succession.
Playing pass the parcel with words and concepts.

THERE is nothing of comparison quite alike to the change of seasons on those days when warmth returns to air and scent, and imparts joy to those who bask in the newly sun-filled days. Bemingled, a tingling relaxation, an inner rejoicing of a summery day after a long cold chill. Of course the keenness of such experience, does largely depend on which part of the hemisphere one happens to be in. But to many there are gradients of days and their properties relative to this experience.

When the sun sweeps over the alpine ranges, the crisp sharp air is infilled with an awakening. The frosts sparkle, as the pale golden light turns to a brilliant radiance. All that awaits under the ground responds in orchestrated delight.

These aspects in warmer regions are felt to degrees somewhat higher and heavier in tone and vibrancy. Rather than subtle, the new warmth is sultry, almost sensual and so provocative as the days do lengthen with sophisticated finesse.

It is best on these days where the warmth overrides those dark quiescent periods, to take oneself to those special country places and take in all manner of rejoicing. In woody regions, to seaside, pastures and country gardens are the impulses which draw the birth-pains of expectation forecalling summer days to come.

These days are as an exaggerated sunrise which may be experienced for a spell that encompasses the full day, for over a week or so. The calendar shifts accordingly, but one knows of this beginning, until the days will settle down and eventually tire, becoming thin again, becoming shorter.

When one recalls new love, it is as with those recollections of these periods where the onset of Summer springs around. Sadly there are those who may miss these days of etheric joy, because of confines that permit not the experience of earthly rapture.

One's year is much alike to one single twenty-four hour day. Therefore there are activities most suited to those periods corresponding. There is a time for rest and a time for waking followed by subsequent activity. This may be easily charted, with a viewpoint to conditions which are especial to one's corresponding pursuits.

With this implication, the New Year, quite rightly, would be experienced on many a different day for different regions. Also of course, the ebb and flow of qualities and impulses - midnight and midday - have their corresponding activities relative to the year's progress. Overall, who can say from what point on the Globe it begins and therefore predetermines the rest? But as night follows day, the seasons revolve and the sunrise period of the year is held most fondly in experience. If one were to dissect the hours, they too would hold similar rhythms. Dissect the overtures of centuries and they also have night and day episodic heartbeat cycles.

There are corresponding points on the Globe, which in opposite impart conditions to another - the principle of the active and passive, whereby one draws and deflects from another. Whilst overall, the messenger of the new days to come travels around flitting from one to another in successive bounds.

Globetrotting international travelers are sensitive to the adjustments required in relation to the impulses and rhythms so dramatically altered. The patterns of sleep are not the only rhythms rearranged and interrupted. But who can say what is tonic from the virtues of change with its demands?

There is much that strains the constitution of man today that hitherto was never in question. Locally, the artificial lights and temperatures, which are ever consistent, are as confusing if not more confusing to those who remain, than those who are thus stimulated by overseas travel. One has only to view plants that are climate-controlled to realize that the differences are marked, and extremes cannot be prolonged indefinitely without great loss. Many a rubber plant, in many a shopping mall!

This is not to suggest that we all brave the elements, depriving ourselves of the protection therefrom. However, exposure to those qualities of the day which signal the beneficent impulses is imperative to those changes we command - a certain flexing of strength, and so forth. 

It is interesting to find that the notion as expressed above about the nature of the year being quite similar to the daily conduct is less known intuitively by the control-climate man who is deprived of such experience that works its way through to the consciousness. Although still very much affected by that which presents itself during the course of the year, he is at a loss as to knowing innately, that which prevails at those times.

Rather be sludgeing a little snow or sweating a mite, than not at all. In the very least to be in touch with those elements that swirl and sweep around our small homes; and especially so in the periods of the year that bring sunrise to the year and radiate much longed for new love! For we are comforted internally by this: the returning of warmth.