Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 5

5. Fear of impotence (lack of life vitality)

Not surprisingly the parent force and designated finger here, is the third finger on the active hand - representing strength, both sustained and active, summoned by the will.

There is an occult secret to strength which very few know - we will never lack its true vitality, ever. For the elderly who know what it is to drive the unwilling limbs - how once their movements were effortless, yet now there appears to be little strength to lift a spoon - this strength which once was there and taken for granted has not left them, but has translated into a far greater strength of being, more than before, to live as they do, to move what they move. Not just physical strength, but the strength behind the effort. This is there. It has not gone, it has not depleted, it has increased. 

There is however, a fear that lives in every man of being impotent - sexually, physically, mentally and spiritually - fear of having nothing there when the time calls him to act, no strength to sustain all life itself. For Man is but Little God, and he knows in himself what a responsibility this is. 

Yet strength itself can be fearful. We can go to this gate and very easily frighten ourselves. Power is fearsome too. Ironically those who experience episodes of knowing great strength and power succumb to the fear of losing it, but truly it is the power they themselves have invoked that charges themselves most cruelly. 

The tired and the worn know of the inner strength, and have not the vitality to spare any more. But those who are ravenous for strength may err into a passion for it, seeking and admiring it for the sake of itself, rather than its duties. This will then become a fear.

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 4

4. Fear of annihilation (losing ego), Fear of dissolving (losing Arterial Self)

The forces attributed to this fear work around the middle finger of the passive hand - the one which designates withdrawal and the power to desist.

As one can imagine, there are times when we need to cooperate in a way which was not previously designated. We require to change and to leave that which substantially had been the pattern previously for us to engage ourselves in. 

There are many occasions other than in dying where we are in need of invoking this power. Dissolution resists stagnant coagulation, it is a principle which frees possibility, whilst also helping us to do simple tasks, for instance, like withdraw back into a heavenly contemplation after a concentrated focus in worldly things.

The same process does also give ourselves a kind of reprieve out from ourselves for a time. Many individuals find tensions within their own natures and thinking (particularly those who are conscientious) and seek out ways and means to alleviate their pressures felt within by learning how to dissipate their own ego temporarily. This does not mean to say that the ego is dissolved into nothingness, but it can be weakened considerably - depending on the means chosen by the individual who seeks a respite from the intensities the egoic activity creates. 

Ordinarily there are many healthy virtues which provoke this force and experience of self dilution. Any interaction which expresses and experiences a loving interest in a person or activity will automatically give one the sensation (and reality) of diluting oneself, withdrawing from the personality, lifting up and out from the lesser ego and expanding out into a joyful infinity, with natural and healthy means. 

Lesser provocations might be doing activities which absorb our attention away from ourselves in an excited way (shopping, gambling, game playing, movie watching, physical exercise etc.); these we can 'lose ourselves' quite easily in, without the benefits of the involvements implied with love.

Thirdly to this comes play-acting and deceit. Here an individual assumes the role and persona of someone they are not, and for a time (just by their acting) becomes something other than the truth of who they are. This is a dangerous practice and it is not uncommon for actors to suicide having been so distraught by the fear of annihilation they have set upon themselves, finalizing what they began little by little to do. 

Every time we deceive another person or lie to them about who we really are, we are experiencing a dissolving of ego in the process. This can be pleasurable, in the sense that there is a release (particularly for the strong-willed) in the escape of identity, whilst also it is the 'easy' way out, rather than committing to the truth and kindly presenting that, instead of the falsehood. 

For the liar there will be a very real fear of unraveling within their self, of a lack of 'I am', simply because they have given away their self every time they discounted it with a feeble presentation of something other than their true feelings. 

It is a dangerous concession therefore to negate oneself in such a way, and very easy to understand how the tension of forces work in upon themselves, alarming the individual that something has gone horribly wrong, in that they are losing sight of themselves with every pretending.
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 3

3. Fear of being frozen (paralytic - not being able to execute the will)

The forces implicated here are the very ones which are working for peace and containment - the same forces which have the power to appease and curtail the ferocity of will as it is brought into life and executed by ourselves. 

It is understandable therefore that we might well become frightened at the prospect of this element of peace containing us to the point of inactivity. The very presence of this influence (described as being apparent in the middle finger of the active hand) seems contrary to the overall nature of the active hand. It suggests an inactivity, doesn't it? Yet oddly enough, peace is anything but that. Peace is not inactivity at all, but a higher occurrence determining the action. When conditions come to Peace it is not a static non-occurrence, there is in fact an infilling of beings and virtue, of possibilities and heavenly grace. Peace is busy in the unseen, but also in the quiet. Peace allows a saturation of such heavenly force to bless what it is that we would have be. 

To the individual who cannot yet perceive the unseen reason, there can be a mistaken sense in the soul that peace is nonsense. This individual is often provoked by their fear which follows to be ever busy and never at rest, consequently tiring also those around them. They may suffer night-frights or nightmares, chronic restlessness and undue speech. They are very fearful of having a period of inactivity set upon them. 

Moreover, there can be a willfulness which has in the past gone unchecked. If we review the work on the Rosary* we can see that the greater value of this virtue is in relation to the active will. The problem therefore (that the individual suffers who holds the fear of being frozen) is one where there has been little effort made to contain and hold back the wills and wants of self to any measure.

*This list, unlike the present, alternates between the dominant and passive hands.
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 2

2. Fear of Father God's condemnation

The forces which this fear relates to, emanate out through the index finger of the passive hand. Here we find the influences characterizing Our Father as the Divine Will of utter existence - Quiescent but ever present (and we do mean ever present) hidden, yet always apparent, presiding over all. 

So in a display of yet one more divine paradox, we have the finger equal to that of our own egoic willing showing aptitude, yet the one which is the same but on the passive hand with seemingly less direction, represents the governing forces for the two. 

This fear provokes devastating doubts about the self-worth of the individual experiencing this possibility. In the paragraphs prior to this it was mentioned about the individual who lays judgment upon another from the assumed position of knowing the mind and mercy of Our Father. The tenet 'judge not lest ye be judged' literally works on many levels - not the least of which in respect to our own operating powers within. 

Through our arterial connection secure to Father God and ourselves, we have the ability to refer to Him constantly in prayer and inner referral. We may go to Him for consolation or for direction, when our own wills are undecided or wanting. Yet we cannot go to Him on behalf of another. This is why we pray 'Thy Will be Done'. The very nanosecond we have assumed to become Him and endeavored to judge with our own will believing this to be His, we are gently but powerfully invoking consequences. 

The severe man who abides by an authoritarian view often inflicts himself with the same severity, but worse. The individual who chooses judgment before mercy in perspective as well as in act, will assuredly suffer the enormous shadow of doubt, pretending to be the disapproving Father. So once again we can see the confusion between the usefulness and purpose given to those who:

a) consult Father God for direction and discriminate what is correct and right according to this consultation;

and

 b) the unholy practice of determining this for others without being privy to their arterial referral or choice in the practice.

 

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