Indecisiveness- 12th October 1991

Humpty Dumpty's Downfall


Humpty Dumpty couldn't decide
One way or the other,
Because of indecision,
From this to that did waver.
All the steeds of great thought,
And all the deeds of great men,
Couldn't put Humpty together again,
For the egg, that was Humpty,
Was laid by a hen!

INDECISIVENESS, in terms of being pre-emptive to a formal choice, maybe purely time-out for consideration and analysis. However, if there is no follow on from such indecisiveness, no actual purpose to the indetermination, then one may presume that there is a 'blockage' of a kind preventing clear choice. 

One may be indecisive and give time for prayer with hope to intuitive answer. This may allow compensation for the inadequacies of perception and interpretation, when one consults the higher powers that be, for such assistance. It may also denote certain impartiality, whereby the calculated decision is founded by a subjective truce, giving way to objective concerns- a fair perspective.

It may also indicate (where prolonged) a stalemate of static reference. The individual has nowhere to safely go in this the decision, and 'puts off' the final day of reckoning. The confrontation is ignored. The overall attitude becomes denial of acknowledgment.

This is particularly interesting, as two separate outcomes may eventuate from this indecision, this indefinite faltering. The issue at hand may dissipate, losing the wind from the sails, so to speak. It may simply be that conditions change whereby the individual may 'put off' such reckoning and determination, until similar conditions present themselves again.

Or alternatively, as is often the case, that which was denied review and consideration, becomes as a burden of a tight fitting skin, which is actually borne by the individual up until the matter is inwardly resolved. One can see many individuals who have this great malady. They have shirked certain decisions which in the past required of their attention, decisions which at the time, in their youth, were terribly important to the individual. Perhaps at the time there was much confusion because of the importance; also that there were extraneous circumstances which prohibited an honest deduction, honest to their inner requirements, answerable to their outer circumstances. Then following on in later life the issue is still without redress, and yet the intensity of the said concern had made provision for actual life-prolonging of the unanswered conflict. 

There are times throughout life where great intersections are approached, whereby one's destiny is offered to varied endeavor and multiple outcomes. Throughout these periods of choice, there are decisions which have to be defined and worked upon, even though there may be certain pain within the change required at the initial stage of great change.

However, whilst we are free to decide and free also to unoblige the fates with our favor or welcoming, there can also be at certain times marked obstinacy, whereupon the individual succumbs to circumstance, giving less consideration to his own inner desires and inner reckonings, and makes no resolve but rather moves into activities and 'lifestyles' which have been predetermined by outer mean. In other words, the individual gives over his own considerations for those alleged by the state or his peers or his family; and takes directions and resolves decisions, using values determined outside of his own personal judgment without involving the processes of reflection or questioning as to those acts.

It can be said here also that there are times when one is impartial, but if this is decided upon with deliberation, then the impartiality becomes a conscious act within itself, and a choice decided. Therefore it is not impartiality to which we refer. It is moreover that condition which begins and ends with indecisiveness and the inability to confront those special choices which are set before us, that we might duly follow on from.

Returning once more to the chap who has relied upon the majority rule rather than assuming responsibility within himself for a particular decision, we find that there are two possible outcomes which stream from this path of attitude. Firstly, it is very possible, that although the decision has not been consciously addressed, and therefore is to less value, one can say that the consequences are nonetheless experienced in due time, and therefore of value unto themselves. So sooner or later the situation will rebound and require with its presentment, again formal consideration. Now if the individual has followed on a path which is concurrent with choice that is natural to his higher self, (if even if it is not acknowledged), and so by placing those questions in the hands of the state, family or peers, has been given over to that which would have been the moral choice of the soul, or the soul-directive from his higher self, then well and good. If it is in alignment (even though it is partially chance and partially decision) then the matter will continue, and life will proceed onto the next so-called intersection.

But secondly, if however the path which streams from that choice is in contradiction to his higher self, and in conflict with his inner identity (would that he would have resolved the confrontation initially to discover this) and yet he proceeds in the negative, then not only are the consequences within the pattern of his future dealings changed markedly, but also the 'guilt' which accompanies the hazardous negligence.

For this is the nature of guilt and it is alike to the barnacles that cluster on a shell - it stays with a man as a reminder of those times in which he did not address dutifully that which had presented itself. He did not correspond within his higher self and has had to wear the consequences long after.

If there is anything to be learnt from this it is the importance of honest consideration. If we are to be indecisive, then it is best to use the opportunity to explore that which we are undecided about, rather than simply ceasing to question.

If we are to pray, then fervently pray, if this is to be the method in which one finds the ultimate guidepost- and a good one it is too. For then we may be assured that we have endeavored to consult with the higher perspective and are open to such directives.

We cannot 'give in' or give over responsibility to another, for this is false economy in regards to ourselves. No matter how difficult it may appear to be, to actually confront a decision which is set before us, it is far more difficult to answer to the consequences of a decision which would otherwise have been better determined, were one to have worked for the answer.

There are many who fear that they are not capable of acting without fault. They would seek out reference which is determined by another. However, it is obviously important that their choice of reference, when seeking sage or seer, be empirically pertinent to them as well as the 'sound' basis for ideals.

If although, they are in the habit of giving over all decision making to higher authorities, then the actual choosing of the higher authorities may be questionable. They continually forgo the opportunities for discernment, they are not practiced in 'working out' or adept in knowing of their own individual preferences. One may deny the conscience when relying upon another's values, and so in such constant denial, has little to go by when choosing their 'role models' or legislators, wives, husbands or masters of fate.

To be awake and aware, and true to oneself. To neither leap into decisions (as if prompted by another, or the possibility of an urgent regret) or to sit undecided upon the wall indefinitely, awaiting wings in order to fly from the situation.

For in many instances the complicated byways which result from our worldly activities are all useful, and not to be regarded as a waste of time or of great fault. For we are assured of repercussions which will help us gauge far more knowledge of the outcomes, would that we would learn by them. But one has to be open to learning, rather than expecting all to simply 'fall into place' without our raising a hand or an ear, or a consideration, in the part in which we play. To try to the best of our abilities to take the matter in hand, and know also that which we cannot prevail upon, and that which we must comply with.

If one is powerless to effect change upon an exterial problem, then one may take time to work on attitude, and adaptation to those temporal circumstances. There are always many great and varied decisions that one may consciously address. It is helpful also, to recall those instances where in the past one has not judged accordingly and neglected a matter. 

'Rooting out' such instances is extremely beneficial, even though many tears shall spring out. For it does help put the matter aright, even though it may appear to be of the past only; for hitherto the conscious acknowledgment had been unstated and unexperienced, but is given relief by the working through of those times. 

Equally so, one may desist from casting fault and blame on circumstances which were imposed on those occasions. Make peace with them and 'figure out' what the informed opinion of today would be. Then we find great usefulness in our regrets and within our guilts. But until such time as we make the confrontation, we shall perilously waver and quiver within ourselves. Some folks are often haunted throughout the course of a lifetime by a single major confrontation which is represented over and over again, in different forms.

If we presume to be continually 'open minded' and without direction, we have no basis from which to begin conscious learning. If we are to avoid mistakes we are learn from past indiscretions; and it does not help one to presume that he or she is faultless, simply because they will not refer to past mistakes or make account for those directions in future activity.

The term agnostic implies that one is content to 'not know'. How may one truly be 'content to not know'? If one feels that they are truly agnostic, then there is something there which requires address. They should wish to work upon an answer. It actually implies that they do not wish to work upon an answer- it implies the unknowable. Yet this is in contradiction to the dictates of the higher man, and shall return again and again and seek out conscious consideration. So many confrontations will preside until one way or the other the individual is firm upon the point. Once a point is established he may finally proceed on from there. Proceed from that premise and the attitude that follows. But until that one decision has been connected with, it will hold him back from those which are to follow. One cannot leap into future intersecting opportunities without passing through those necessarily at the forefront of the others.

There may be great moral questions which are to be addressed and decided, which do work upon a man. If he negates his will and violates his higher self, and prefers to dwell outwardly, radiating all his activity out into the 'common' (and usually in activities which defy self-consciousness), then he shall eventually come to severe shock when those same questions present themselves through the means of the consequences.We all have a dog at our feet which requires our consideration. He will follow and bark and tug and keep coming, until we are 'back on track' and prepared to proceed a little further.

It is a little like those games whereby certain objects must be sought out and collected. The group sets out with clues in hand and searches one by one, collects and returns the winner when all are obtained. We have much to address and take into ourselves, and it occurs systematically wherever we choose to look, and they must come to us one by one. We must find one, before we go onto the next set of clues. It shall surely bother us until we have found that particular one that we are looking for. It is often within the matter at hand. It is certainly not far away. And it is for each of us to find for ourselves, with a little dog at our heels, snapping and barking, and inciting us to go a little further.

Answers are truly to be 'found within ourselves'. Although some might say that this is regrettable, decisions which are not attuned to the experience, values and needs of our higher nature, and higher man, do keep re-presenting, until they are aligned and acknowledged. For the lower nature may wish to 'go its own way', and pulls and tugs at sleepy intervals, but it cannot hold the vision which is encompassed by the higher aspects. The concerns differ accordingly. But the eternal man necessarily has far different concerns over such decisions which confront one in their life. And the higher man will not be satisfied, until the pupil of the lower self has incorporated within, the higher values, and therefore discernment pertaining to them. As the objective, is as ever, to go up the ranks and not be enmeshed in the lower, it cannot be otherwise. So there is a certain conformity required which to some appears quite onerous.

However, one can take heart, because one learns of greater capabilities which accompany true insight, and when the two are aligned there is a greater freedom of the individual, in this the perfected man.

For what purpose is there a lower man at all, one might ask? To this we can only answer that this is consistent with the laws of divine propagation. The purpose of regeneration, the purpose of infancy and maturity; that there is multiplication throughout all life with further transformation. And where this is not, there is cessation. All must expand and move forward and be infilled, and impart, transmute and translate, and accommodate the divine. Without being party to this very intricate and fascinating process, we in stagnation, should simply be left behind as a cracked and useless egg.