20. The weight of one's own personal karma as known (generally unconsciously experienced until active) and the sadness at incurring the more difficult aspects so borne.
This has a very large reality to it, for heaviness is experienced whilst also integrity as well. Every piece of our karmic responsibility travels with us and is ever present before our soul's eye. Our days are blended by such events, brought and wrought by such a karmic response to our previous callings.
So this is how we function, but not without a measure of apprehension into the bargain.