The Holy Man's Trials 28

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 28. The ecology of wills.

There are difficulties encountered (not necessarily spoken or manifest) negotiating the wills of others with that of our own. The Christian soul is driven by good works and to charity and is often blighted by the tensions caused by the differing wills surrounding. 

Deferring to the Greater Will relieves this and then however manifests the tension by … 29

The Holy Man's Trials 27

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 27. We sense other folk's difficulties compressing memories and reconciling truths and times - those alive and deceased; as the thought-atmosphere is imbued with these struggles also.

And so there exists a dialogue which is constantly reviewing the past with the present and contesting identity. We come to sense this dialogue in a variety of ways. It takes a very strong presence of ego to simply stand still and be silent amongst much of this. Furthermore, there are hopes and projections as well! 

The condition of Alzheimer's is very much given over to the reality of this memory-realm, yet receptive to the confusion of many at the one time, to the point where the self-consciousness is relinquished.

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The Holy Man's Trials 26

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26. The presence of that which bears historical record of ourselves from a time of identity from which we have since departed.

There becomes an internal struggle/tension with the discrepancies as they are portrayed in comparison with who we are today. This may refer to the akashic, the talismanic or merely the representational as in a photograph or another's memory recollection. 

A sensitive man may also have difficulties with his own memories as they do not 'match up' with the person he has grown to be or become to prefer. There is a painfulness in perceiving ourselves to be 'less than', or alternatively there is the simple problem of the 'ill-fitting' as described above. 

Since the consciousness may only be in the one place at the one time, it is easily confused when presented (even to self and even in the carrying of self) with multifarious images of what once were. It has little difficulties with 'could-bes' however. For although the 'could-be' excites the imagination, it needs to have a foothold in reality before being taken seriously. If the 'could-be' is a spiritually foreseeable reality then it is perceived as the epitome of 'fitting' - not being merely desirable, but the actual reality upon which all else is measured (from which we are largely disheartened by). 

When we glimpse our true spiritual natures and futures they are known to have been something in place, given out a very long time ago. The difficulties we have with our own memories or those of others of ourselves, lies in the seeming incoherence and unrelatedness of both our modern-day selves and our spiritual natures as well.

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The Holy Man's Trials 25

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25. The presence of astral poisons largely contributed by the thought forms as given out, or general atmosphere as contaminated by individuals who we share proximity with, which are ill-tempered, emanating more of the same.

Similar to the protest and affright which is experienced by our physical constitution when it is exposed to poison, so too our astral bodies are sensitive to the magnetic discrepancies between peaceable natured individuals and disruptive ones. Astral toxicity is something we often equate with specters after death, and yet the voracity, the nature, the force, the toxicity, the activity of a specter begins with a live person and just continues on after death. The live person is far more difficult to cope with than the disempowered disinspirited ghoul! 

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