Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds- some further comments

QUITE often when we propel into fear there is a bodily reaction and the fingers themselves may tingle. This is not only physical, but displaying a withdrawal of the forces in an immediate reaction, attempting to disincarnate from the situation itself.

Fluid at the extremities, arthritic deformities also, all can be reactions to fear which has caused an aggravation of its own. Even disorders of the nails can tell stories of fearful episodes.

Here is a very helpful exercise to calm the forces, should they excite in an obtuse manner:

We can recite the Lord's Prayer being mindful of the instruction regarding the station of each force as it conducts its way through each ending. If you take some time with this exercise there will be a relief out from the fear that inflicts you. It is surprisingly corrective simply to contemplate.

Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name,

(First finger, passive hand - Will of the Father.)

Thy Kingdom Come,

(Middle finger- The withdrawing powers to take us back to Heaven.)

Thy Will be done,

(The finger of obedience - third finger, passive hand.)

On Earth as it is in Heaven.

(Reverence, the power to surrender to God- little finger.)

Give us this day,

(First finger, egoic self consciousness of the present - active hand.)

Our daily bread,

(Containment of our strength and ego - middle finger.)

And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

(Third finger, of strength - active hand.)

And lead us not into temptation,

(Sexuality - little finger.)

But deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom,

(Two hands leading up to heart meridian.)

The Power (left hand) and the Glory (right hand),

Forever and ever.

Amen

Here is the equation of the two hands in relation to the will, the higher will, the developing ego, the higher ego and the ego absolute. 

Know this: The forces of the will when summoned for the purposes of one's own discipline/curtailing/action with love (i.e. giving, laboring, creating, equally engaging) purposefully and with the desire for overall betterment, these forces invoked in such a way will increase the strength of the individual's egoic velocity. When Christ meets the Father and the two wills are aligned well, all is well.

But if the forces of the will are invoked to overcome another will, to be matched and fought with, or if the greater will is tampered with by design (i.e. attempting to manipulate the Angelos) for self profiteering, self motivating, self orienteering, then, very abruptly, fear will result by consequence and immediately curtail the actions of this ego.

You see, being strong in oneself - in the development of ego, in the consciousness of the 'I', in the sense of awareness of self for need, want and differentiation, in egoic and creative possibility, in overall capability - this strength of higher character is passively defined.

Dictators crave order and exhibit the qualities of Christ that they perceive to be correct, but do not understand that one cannot impose harmony amongst others; one cannot require compliance in anything in life. You may personally work to achieve the best end, you may hope others will follow your example and you may pray that God's will be done. The dictator will suffer from enormous episodes of fear which will incapacitate him terribly until he stops directing his forces in the way that he does. Or in the worst of cases, if he chooses to purchase an artificial strength to bolster his ego (through demonic possession etc.) he will weaken his ego and risk permanent dissolution. This of course is rare thankfully, and this end is dissuaded largely by the very gifts fear brings in relation to the misspent forces we are studying.

One can see often the strong personality finding ways of reaching this 'harmony' and compliance amongst those around them by working hard to get them to submit agreeably, because on an intuitive level they know that if there is no clash of wills, if they are not caused to bear down on those that disagree, it will go easier on themselves, in relation to the nervine outcharge.

They may believe that they are trying to please people, however this is more or less a superficiality which sets up an overall picture which they have imposed of what is perfect. Randomness and other wills rarely are 'allowed' or tolerated, because

1. in a limited view 'harmony and order' require predictability and
2. the fears accumulated have rendered them too weak to accept change and difference.

When crossed or upset within their own will, they cannot meet the challenge - they are inflexible - and often walk out or cease communication. The fears increase to such a level as well, that they are inflexible and rendering themselves incapable of dealing with any scenarios which hold reality other than their imagined 'harmonious' interchanges.

This is one of the main reasons that we may go to the table grace and pray:

That which I do take for myself, unto myself,

That which does sustain me:

Be it filled with the fire from the Twelve,

And so divinely imbued,

That I may tolerate life, and life shall tolerate me.

Toleration suggests a perfect tension between the participants of life's expression. We cannot dutifully ask for more. There would be little point asking for almost enough toleration. If this was in nature, that we only realized an almost enough toleration, the combined effect would become the ruin of all. Conversely we cannot ask for more toleration. Once reached in a balanced exchange it cannot be improved upon. Perfect tolerance is perfect tolerance. It does not favor one against the other. Do you begin to see?

Fixing ourselves within the picture of Creation in our attitudes, needs be respectful to all other beings within the design. This is our first position and it is important to the heavenly graces that we adopt this aspect within our own nature. Out from such respect it becomes unconscionable to try to exert one's will over another. If another person seriously does not want to do something, then it is a matter of the highest law that we should not require them to do it. Christ does not make Man submissive; Father God does not either. Men have not the license to even conspire in any way to do this, and if one does mentally, willfully, psychically, physically impose themselves, then the inflicted may react back as they see worthy of deflecting the force thus directed at them. 

A man who is genuinely strong within himself may attempt to 'become Christ' within his egoic activity and go further than He might - extending himself to affect others with his will, and become weak and cowardly in contrast to his true nature overnight. The exertion of will does not even need to be sinister for this to occur. This is why we mentioned the very saint becoming inflicted also with this grievance. 

The moral man would have all others the same - this is understandable. He may well exert his will out into the world, out into religious spheres of others in conversation, over family - and sadly and especially, where there are employees to overcharge and regulate … All of this beckons an action of will whereby the one individual may well go up against another in direct contest, and his intention will be to win over the other/s and set 'rest' or harmony or order to the situation. Whether this man is poorly motivated or morally moved, the consequences of the fear coming down upon the ego in retrograde force will apply, and he will be temporarily crippled in his will by this action.

• The wife who would will her husband or family to do, be and present as fits her concept of harmony and order, will be fearsome and nervous, upsetting the true ecology by the demanding.
• The son or daughter who would set mentally against their family and beloved society, displaying great will and strength, will cringe and be weak in sense of self nonetheless, raging, complaining and demeaning themselves in frivolity.
• The politician who invests his own ideas into the mix and begins to forge his way before others, will have night-sweats and black holes haunting his quiet moments.
• The priest that takes over from Christ, and departs the holy charities, filling with ambition which takes away from the freedom of all possible consequence, will affright of himself, and he will begin to believe it is the 'evil of the world' that he is witnessing.
• The positive thinker that believes that there is a magic which will increase their personal beneficence, will equally scare themselves continuously having to work a cycle of reaffirmation with desperation.
• The magician who summons the elementals and the Angels, believing that the creative will works to fit in with his personal designs, he too will open doors to the hideous faced demons by his own exertion, and become caught in a sickening paranoia.

It becomes more important than ever, as we go on to develop our Christ-given strength of the 'I' and be given its commensurate power of will that goes with it, to practice a drawing back into our passive powers when it comes to the conflicts beyond ourselves. We can observe, discern and decide what is good and what is not. We then must take responsibility for ourselves alone and our involvements there. 

Where do we want to be? Who do we want to be? What do we expect from others? Are we motivated by fears that are so close to us, that we have borne for so very long, that we now think of them as part of ourselves and shrug off as some distinct trait of our own nature? They are not. But they are shared by all.

All of these fears mentioned above in the retrograde grava, are short-lived and inspired by the willing in the present. They are not in any way permanent fixtures (or fissures) afflicting our being, our personality or our consciousness. 

Working with the Lord's Prayer in a way which is mindful of the forces as described above, will alleviate the past problems as quickly as is done. Then the work on the willing day-to-day begins. This too is remarkably easy. For - now wait for it -

where there's a will, there's a way!!!!

Goodluck!

Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 10

10. Fear of misfortune

Finally we come to the other little stout fellow that does not try so hard as his brother, but sits upon the passive hand with positive and virtuous qualities: nobility, generosity (of spirit as much as with wealth) and the nature of the upstanding soul; integrity from the highest point of being. Here also we can find the seed of fear which doubts the ongoing goodness of the Heavens and of Divinity and shudders before the prospects of dire misfortune.

Here we have our own selflessness meeting the 'I am' in a very awkward place. Selflessness is primary to all of our souls. You might not know it, you might not recognize it, but in reality all individuals are quite selfless firstly. 

But then the other fellows speak out quite audibly protesting this chap and offering their ideas. The growing consciousness is keen to find that which is profitable for it alongside the natural loves it holds and a piety for the divine; yet with dual carriageways this must follow. 

How to temper our own needs with the callings for selfless intervention? How to be true to ourselves and not to dismiss our Christ-given selfhood with falsities which hesitate or become compromised into lying or yet further difficulty again? This is again the province of the thumb also - to usher forth the grace of divine congeniality, the generosity of the gods themselves, of the lavish and abundant nature, of the prosperity of life and the hopefulness of new life as well.

A fear of impending misfortune often follows false expectations; because it is a gift also - of forewarning - that things might not go according to the personal plan. However, in the larger picture as is known by the entire being of the individual, the spiritual worlds are both comforting and comfortable, and all becomes good fortune in time.

Further Comments

Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 9

9. Fear of losing favor (public face and affection from loved ones)

There is a thumb on the active hand which is compliant and good natured, responsible for humor and great fellowship. The exaggerated fear of losing favor amongst the community or family is elemental also to attempting to please well. 

It is no surprise for many to note the ill health you can witness in those individuals who work very hard to please others. Usually they appear as stout and rounded as the little thumb. But some just develop a head which looks like a thumb. Or perhaps the thumb itself becomes overly large and more obvious. They carry a grave fear of being alone, of losing the fellowship they seek, of being all by themselves. 

Whilst it is virtuous to inspire congeniality, it is not conducive to fellowship to seek it out for selfish reasons which require that we are much loved by it - if you get the point.

Fearing failure, being motivated to avoid rejection, is not necessarily thinking lovingly toward the company you are seeking the approval of. In point of fact you are presumptively pre-empting a war. The fear here of disapproval and of losing face comes from a false pride and an over inflated view of both yourself and of others. Expect nothing and no disappointments, and have fun!!!

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 8

8. Fear of the dark (magnitude of God)

This fear strangely, can afflict the most reverent of souls, and yet is off-springing from that digit which stands for just that - reverence and the power to surrender to God.

This promotes the greatest humility and passivity to contemplate and experience, but does also create it; almost and sometimes overwhelmingly, to the point of becoming terrified at the very greatness that is around us. 

Part of the deal here is to take on and look for the courage of such a truth which lives within us. With the little finger on the other hand we were looking for the courage to come to others and be seen by them - the theme was of exposure. With this twin finger we are afraid of the dark conversely, and are seeking the courage to see God.

Many wish for this, but know how unbearable beauty can be, let alone the strength of this truth, of His Glory. 

We may fear Him in this aspect also because He is quiescent to us in our day to day consciousness. The thought of leaving our consciousness is quite frightful also, just as the prospect of dying is alarming as well. So is obeisance. So is the notion that we may depart our obeisance and possibly disappoint Him. Such are the fears associated with the darkness and this virtue.

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 7

7. Fear of exposure

The little finger on the active hand designates sexuality and the various aspects which are divinely related. Essentially this is a force which is current also. We have, in this active virtue, an ability to combine with another distinctly different power, and to creatively manifest something yet more different again a'further. So although placed on the smallest of digits, there is a talent here for receiving more than one personal force here, and a requisite also for being open to receive these forces. 

Some individuals are secretive by nature and quite fearful of having their 'true selves' revealed. Some, by choice, do not seek to combine on any level - physical or spiritual - and do not feel prepared for the management and interchange of vitalities as are necessary in the description above. 

In part of course, these interchanges occur regardless. Everything we do, even in sitting in the quiet, brings life into us and we to it and there is a sharing, a combining, and something else resulting from that activity. However, for those who have a fear of being exposed, the individual carries shame, a shame which is generally put upon them from one major event earlier on, and lastingly inhibits them from a real and meaningful intercourse.

Whatever this shame began from, it had the kernel of this person feeling less than worthy. Somewhere at sometime the forces which rejoice in becoming very important to others and to the expectant cosmos, become inverted into a tangle of confusion. 

Fortunately the source of the shame - the event itself or simply the original feeling - can be found very easily by the man or woman who chooses to intelligently reflect upon this subject. Problems are never far away from us and always begging to be heard - which is very good indeed, should we wish to heal them and move on!
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 6

6. Fear of helplessness (lack of power in the world)

Obedience, by choice, is the theme for the corresponding finger on the passive hand (known as the wedding ring finger) and is the foci point for this fear - being of helplessness and lack of power.

This fear is not about a lacking of strength or opportunity so much as it is about 'giving way' to something or someone we do not wish to give in to. We are unwilling, yet feel helpless in our situation fraught with compromise.

Frequently our sense of self, our 'I am', is contested to reveal or reinvent its identity. This is largely a very creative process. It is very beautiful and inspirational to even the higher beings that enjoy immensely, watching the aspiring being of Man create himself or herself out from a former person.

This individual task is especial to that individual. Although we can thank wholeheartedly the many folk who have contributed to our making, it is nonetheless a singular employment which is private and ongoing regardless. 

Whenever obedience is granted begrudgingly, the person giving way is walking in the direction of this fear of helplessness full speed. It is of course moreover a reality they are experiencing in the here and now, but also an aggravation for the future aspect of mind as well. 

There is no love transpiring in obligation, and no profit from those who give without really desiring to give in the first place. For the individual who persistently 'dogs' around the orders of others there will be a repeated fear of helplessness haunting the in between hours of their 'duties'. 

This also applies very much to the debilitating attitude of spiritual aspirants who believe their future investments should be just a chore. Without a true willingness of self, the self can never be invested and the acts are but superficial.

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 5

5. Fear of impotence (lack of life vitality)

Not surprisingly the parent force and designated finger here, is the third finger on the active hand - representing strength, both sustained and active, summoned by the will.

There is an occult secret to strength which very few know - we will never lack its true vitality, ever. For the elderly who know what it is to drive the unwilling limbs - how once their movements were effortless, yet now there appears to be little strength to lift a spoon - this strength which once was there and taken for granted has not left them, but has translated into a far greater strength of being, more than before, to live as they do, to move what they move. Not just physical strength, but the strength behind the effort. This is there. It has not gone, it has not depleted, it has increased. 

There is however, a fear that lives in every man of being impotent - sexually, physically, mentally and spiritually - fear of having nothing there when the time calls him to act, no strength to sustain all life itself. For Man is but Little God, and he knows in himself what a responsibility this is. 

Yet strength itself can be fearful. We can go to this gate and very easily frighten ourselves. Power is fearsome too. Ironically those who experience episodes of knowing great strength and power succumb to the fear of losing it, but truly it is the power they themselves have invoked that charges themselves most cruelly. 

The tired and the worn know of the inner strength, and have not the vitality to spare any more. But those who are ravenous for strength may err into a passion for it, seeking and admiring it for the sake of itself, rather than its duties. This will then become a fear.

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 4

4. Fear of annihilation (losing ego), Fear of dissolving (losing Arterial Self)

The forces attributed to this fear work around the middle finger of the passive hand - the one which designates withdrawal and the power to desist.

As one can imagine, there are times when we need to cooperate in a way which was not previously designated. We require to change and to leave that which substantially had been the pattern previously for us to engage ourselves in. 

There are many occasions other than in dying where we are in need of invoking this power. Dissolution resists stagnant coagulation, it is a principle which frees possibility, whilst also helping us to do simple tasks, for instance, like withdraw back into a heavenly contemplation after a concentrated focus in worldly things.

The same process does also give ourselves a kind of reprieve out from ourselves for a time. Many individuals find tensions within their own natures and thinking (particularly those who are conscientious) and seek out ways and means to alleviate their pressures felt within by learning how to dissipate their own ego temporarily. This does not mean to say that the ego is dissolved into nothingness, but it can be weakened considerably - depending on the means chosen by the individual who seeks a respite from the intensities the egoic activity creates. 

Ordinarily there are many healthy virtues which provoke this force and experience of self dilution. Any interaction which expresses and experiences a loving interest in a person or activity will automatically give one the sensation (and reality) of diluting oneself, withdrawing from the personality, lifting up and out from the lesser ego and expanding out into a joyful infinity, with natural and healthy means. 

Lesser provocations might be doing activities which absorb our attention away from ourselves in an excited way (shopping, gambling, game playing, movie watching, physical exercise etc.); these we can 'lose ourselves' quite easily in, without the benefits of the involvements implied with love.

Thirdly to this comes play-acting and deceit. Here an individual assumes the role and persona of someone they are not, and for a time (just by their acting) becomes something other than the truth of who they are. This is a dangerous practice and it is not uncommon for actors to suicide having been so distraught by the fear of annihilation they have set upon themselves, finalizing what they began little by little to do. 

Every time we deceive another person or lie to them about who we really are, we are experiencing a dissolving of ego in the process. This can be pleasurable, in the sense that there is a release (particularly for the strong-willed) in the escape of identity, whilst also it is the 'easy' way out, rather than committing to the truth and kindly presenting that, instead of the falsehood. 

For the liar there will be a very real fear of unraveling within their self, of a lack of 'I am', simply because they have given away their self every time they discounted it with a feeble presentation of something other than their true feelings. 

It is a dangerous concession therefore to negate oneself in such a way, and very easy to understand how the tension of forces work in upon themselves, alarming the individual that something has gone horribly wrong, in that they are losing sight of themselves with every pretending.
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 3

3. Fear of being frozen (paralytic - not being able to execute the will)

The forces implicated here are the very ones which are working for peace and containment - the same forces which have the power to appease and curtail the ferocity of will as it is brought into life and executed by ourselves. 

It is understandable therefore that we might well become frightened at the prospect of this element of peace containing us to the point of inactivity. The very presence of this influence (described as being apparent in the middle finger of the active hand) seems contrary to the overall nature of the active hand. It suggests an inactivity, doesn't it? Yet oddly enough, peace is anything but that. Peace is not inactivity at all, but a higher occurrence determining the action. When conditions come to Peace it is not a static non-occurrence, there is in fact an infilling of beings and virtue, of possibilities and heavenly grace. Peace is busy in the unseen, but also in the quiet. Peace allows a saturation of such heavenly force to bless what it is that we would have be. 

To the individual who cannot yet perceive the unseen reason, there can be a mistaken sense in the soul that peace is nonsense. This individual is often provoked by their fear which follows to be ever busy and never at rest, consequently tiring also those around them. They may suffer night-frights or nightmares, chronic restlessness and undue speech. They are very fearful of having a period of inactivity set upon them. 

Moreover, there can be a willfulness which has in the past gone unchecked. If we review the work on the Rosary* we can see that the greater value of this virtue is in relation to the active will. The problem therefore (that the individual suffers who holds the fear of being frozen) is one where there has been little effort made to contain and hold back the wills and wants of self to any measure.

*This list, unlike the present, alternates between the dominant and passive hands.
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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds 2

2. Fear of Father God's condemnation

The forces which this fear relates to, emanate out through the index finger of the passive hand. Here we find the influences characterizing Our Father as the Divine Will of utter existence - Quiescent but ever present (and we do mean ever present) hidden, yet always apparent, presiding over all. 

So in a display of yet one more divine paradox, we have the finger equal to that of our own egoic willing showing aptitude, yet the one which is the same but on the passive hand with seemingly less direction, represents the governing forces for the two. 

This fear provokes devastating doubts about the self-worth of the individual experiencing this possibility. In the paragraphs prior to this it was mentioned about the individual who lays judgment upon another from the assumed position of knowing the mind and mercy of Our Father. The tenet 'judge not lest ye be judged' literally works on many levels - not the least of which in respect to our own operating powers within. 

Through our arterial connection secure to Father God and ourselves, we have the ability to refer to Him constantly in prayer and inner referral. We may go to Him for consolation or for direction, when our own wills are undecided or wanting. Yet we cannot go to Him on behalf of another. This is why we pray 'Thy Will be Done'. The very nanosecond we have assumed to become Him and endeavored to judge with our own will believing this to be His, we are gently but powerfully invoking consequences. 

The severe man who abides by an authoritarian view often inflicts himself with the same severity, but worse. The individual who chooses judgment before mercy in perspective as well as in act, will assuredly suffer the enormous shadow of doubt, pretending to be the disapproving Father. So once again we can see the confusion between the usefulness and purpose given to those who:

a) consult Father God for direction and discriminate what is correct and right according to this consultation;

and

 b) the unholy practice of determining this for others without being privy to their arterial referral or choice in the practice.

 

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Dancing in the Ten Dark Worlds- Retrograde Grava- 2nd May 2002

THERE are ten dark fears, ten dark places, ten dark spheres, a man can visit. They are:

1. Fear of dislocation and disharmony
2. Fear of Father God's condemnation
3. Fear of being frozen
4. Fear of annihilation & a fear of dissolving
5. Fear of impotence
6. Fear of helplessness
7. Fear of exposure
8. Fear of the dark
9. Fear of losing favor
10. Fear of misfortune

The fears as noted above may be directly related to the emanating forces which transpire around the finger tips and are also resolved within and without the experience of the individual. 

These forces within their primary condition are beneficent and holy. We have named them in a former paper (see 'Working the Rosary') and shall revisit them today in respect to the alarming aspects which may afflict both saint and sinner alike with a horrible and tenacious terror when experienced badly.

One of the reasons found for the fact that such fears can wash over the soul and aggrieve the ego to great distraction, lies in the power of these ten forces experienced within all of us, that they are intrinsic and essential, infilling, determining and enabling to our beings.

Firstly we shall endeavor to capitulate something of how each fear may impact us:

1. Fear of dislocation and disharmony (fear of madness) - the demons of internal chaos.

The index finger of the active hand of will (usually the right hand) concentrates at the tip and outpours the predominating emanation concerning the egoic activity and determining as given to us through Christ. This force and expression of force is particular to our own individuality and relevant to worldly life whilst here. Characteristically the active hand itself is responsive to the World and our activities employed without, whilst the passive hand is fundamental to the more esoteric aspects within our latent natures and consciousness. 

This first finger indicating that of our own will's effort within the world, is completely reliant upon the greater good Nature of Christ in His most Harmonious of Aspects, that we may determine our own ways and become ourselves through His Being. We self determine and self define, we make what we will of our own identities, through His Power and through His Talents of Combining. Within His own System is the Homogeny of the All and yet also the prospectus of individuality given to each man and woman within. 

We can learn from our experiences of fear and subsequent panic, that the fear itself is often characterized by that feeling that something is not quite right. This is more than an 'o oh' feeling initially. If we contemplate the root of this dread (which we seldom care to do when struck by that terrifying fear) we shall find that there are two occurrences happening at the same time. One is that our will has taken us to a place it cannot negotiate out from. It may want to depart but cannot. It has already seen the dreaded Hippogryph and cannot forget its face. The consciousness is experiencing a lack of control.

Secondly we know that something is wrong. Something does not fit and more than that it is horribly clashing upon itself. Although very crudely explained, we can begin to see that the holiest of forces which work for us and motivate much around us, can be perceived unduly in such a way that this clashing and friction of power within them begins something of a perpetual rhythm that feels difficult to escape from. 

In this instance - in the fear of dislocation and disharmony - we may seek to maintain the appearance of harmony creatively or deceptively, to allay our internal fears experienced within the selfhood. Out from the fear we may respond in such a way which is manipulative or controlling, trying to exercise the will of our own over external circumstances to achieve the harmony and order we need the propriety of. This also can be the root cause of the fear, because it is in the nature and substance of fears that they do build upon themselves. So in this example we find that the individual is invoking the forces of the will to employ the Christly qualities and virtues of harmony, but is going about it the wrong way, thus aggravating the cause of the fear. 

The complicated issue at hand (excuse the pun) here is that whilst we are given certain powers and authorship, we are not at license to mimic the powers that gave them. For example: we may discern and judge from our own point of view, but it is unlawful to maintain that this is the point of view of Father God or Christ. We may speculate, but cannot say with definite exactness that all points by us can be considered. 

Equally so here, it is honorable to strive for harmony and cohesiveness within our own lives and where they are implicated. But once we begin to try to coerce or force another within their sphere, their will, their world to conform to our ideas of peace, then the internal conflict of forces will make themselves apparent to us. 

Small toddlers often upheave their surroundings, delighting in a seeming chaos upon the ethers, around their environment - things will get tossed and spilt, scattered and disassembled; yet in actuality within their own internal being the individual is at their most harmonious and 'well ordered' times of life. Within their being, their nature, they are consistent and not conflicted. What is, is. The love pours out from their being and there is a common joy to life around them. 

This observation is not made as a point for us to attempt infanthood again. Yet we can relieve some of the tensions of adulthood and sainthood, when we look back to our own histories previous to our egoic awakening, and understand that it is not our responsibility to make all things conform, or to keep up the appearances of harmony when things are difficult. When Christ harmonizes He does so with the insights required to understand that which He affects. He does not address mere appearances, but is there in the heart of each and all. We cannot be Him, though we can strive to do as He would do. Yet even He does not affect us by His Will, but rather by His Love. 

This force we are working with is one which is both of Him and of our own empowering. It is absolutely understandable that we should yearn for and require a measure of harmony and permanence within our own lives. However for those who are fearful of losing such, are fearful because it is not exhibited within their internal workings, the reason is because they are trying for it externally with their wills. 

This can also provoke a fear of madness as well. It is not so much to say that the candidate will suffer the madness of which they are frightened, but is experiencing the torsion created by the very 'quest for perfection' they are attempting.

Immortality Question- 19th April 2002

 Question:
I've chosen to be a breatharian. People find me strange and eccentric and moreso because of my firm belief in physical immortality. I feel its against some esoteric rule of conduct to ask straightly 'is it true that immortality is a reality?'.

I ask without being unobtrusive for the truth from the Elder Brothers' questing star,
- Mell

IS it true that immortality is a reality?

All the signs would point to 'yes', but who can say, until Eternity is depleted and the immortal have run their course?

By its own definition immortality can never be realized to be a reality.

(Sometimes the only way to calm a doubt is to deflate a false hope.)

The Requisite Ghouls- Easter 29th March 2002

Gerard Wagner 

THERE was a war fought there on Golgotha that first night. It was a battle summoned alike no other; though unseen by the common men and women of this world. It was unfained by the nobles as they drowsed in their plumped up bedding of comforts; unbidden, yet perhaps intrigued, in the shadowy unfathomables of the unconscious regions within the criminal and the desperate. 

Although intuited in its foredooming, passing over the innocent and through into the night, it had simply creased its way into the darkness of all the preceding nights that had passed before it. That first night…who can measure when a God truly dies? What was that moment we determine, as He passed the gates and back many, many times? At the first gate was a battle, and this battle was not even of His Domain, but had inflicted it sorely…

Nowadays men look for and find repositories for their waste, and disassociate themselves and their own neighborhoods from what it is they do not want or cannot hold with safety. Throughout the body of history until now, not only treasures have been concealed in isolated places, material substances of great toxicity are latched within relatively frail tombs concealing their fierce powers for a time; whilst daily we commit our demons out and away from a consciousness that has made much of them, but must then dissolve the burdensome tie. 

Governments dislocate peoples and then try to hide away the evidence of an entire culture; whilst the sea and the earth have been used to absorb the carcasses of the discarded, that the souls have moved out from. Yes, even we, all of us, in this finality leave what it is that we cannot sublimate.

Just as it is that men transfigure the spiritual realities during sleep, in the night, so too did our Christ, then as a man, visit that Death state from which we return from; and there on that first night, had confronted the specters that abided in that place.With faces misshapen, alive and yet without life, they gathered around The Cross as if to incur, with what petulant will between them would, His decease. 

This unseen crowding swelled larger and huger with every moment passing. With a magnetic hatred becoming the one force, now manifesting one intent, this rabble of ghouls presented themselves one by one, at His feet, to urge His undoing.

There was a period within the old evolution of this planet, when all was paradisiacly sweet: the dreams of the spirits of men were shared by the gods, as were the angels, and with similar design, the gardens and landscapes were summoned from the very best of imaginings, though still tended with practical labor as well. 

The economies were not abstract or complicated, and all things were seen to be as exactly as they were. There were no dark places in thought or heart, just a simple and gentle purity emanating from even the strongest of individuals. This was a graceful world, and very, very intelligent for that matter. The cognitivity flashed between life and life - there was a communication of this great lively activity between all beings, for which a respect had to be given from one to another, as the dynamics of being were experienced by one unto another. 

If a human soul, for example, focused on a single plant, there was amongst the two such an intelligent conversation of how it was between them. This is not a conversation of words or contrived, but nonetheless of a higher mind which was awake and aware and able to relate and receive with purpose. 

So you can imagine that this was no sleepy paradise at all!!! This was a time of great learning, of wonderful experience, and manifesting the best of humanhood amongst the best of Creation along with the greater community. In part little children have some remaining qualities showing forth from them, but there are also those which have been lost to this time of that intelligence, which is spoken of here. This is something we can strive however, to hold to, for the possibility to come once again. 

But this is spoken of now, not so much to invoke a wanting melancholy, but to make a point that there were sadly, certain beings and influences which were introduced into our sphere, making a radical change within this paradisiacal condition. During the period just prior to Christ's own Incarnation, this had worsened yet again, that our world had become a dumping ground for many creatures of evility - an astral circus of unimaginably horrible content now infiltrating our planet.

Men by their own natures have not the wherewithal for terrible malice, for murderous, heartless and torturous intent. The effort and strain of such exceeds their own energies for one thing. Anger expires itself very quickly, and we were not made with that provision to be so outlasting with negative expirations. But this too is just the point, and sadly many souls outwear now because of their combinings with the elements of demonhood, which do have the expended voracity of hatreds which excite them for a time.

Quickly also, we have corrupted ourselves and our world, as well as entertaining the pirates which first entered into the sphere of men. However, and having so said, we are reviewing what it meant today for Christ to reclaim His World back out from these creatures of Sin, the same that had oozed and slithered out from their hidings, to orgy around the crucified God.

A Lord knows his lands and a King knows his own measure of Sovereignty with a competent exactness. As the demonic host spewed forth, Christ assessed what was before Him and waited. Some were exceedingly powerful offcasts, particular to planetary systems hitherto unknown by Him… and yet, at the same time familiar - whilst others were the demon children of discarded stars, orphaned from a now dark planet that had expired through sin.

However, this was His domain, and His Love and His Place. Already the millions upon millions of escrying creatures had acclimatized themselves to this sphere, that they could dwell comfortably enough amongst our nature. It was to this part that He would appeal. There is not just one mystery, but many mysteries to Resurrection. The very principle of evolution was itself reformed during the Incarnation, the Dying and the Resurrection, which Christ had decided upon. You see, evolution in its primal and progressive context tends to discriminate and eliminate and thus 'evolve' with rationality and purpose. 

However, the process of Resurrection melded properties which ordinarily would be discarded with a second chance, a new life, and bringing even perhaps a differing purpose.

It did not actually mean 'more of the same', which in a certain sense evolution itself had hitherto implied - perhaps an improved 'more of the same' but nonetheless formerly it would have been more-of-the-same-minus-some. 

This new life within this new context brought about opportunities for the betterment longterm, of all. When men consider an absolution for their sins, they lovingly do so with elements of shame and bear such sadness, not realizing that giving the ghouls an opportunity for transformation and release out from themselves, is the first step to find a relief for the humanity they had infested. 

Whilst many had and do dwell within the Earth's cavities or permeate the astral peripheries, (or of course accompany the human counterparts that have them here) the sting from their tail has been removed now, so to speak (and literally speaking also). Christ could have cleared them away, sending them out through the poles of the Earth from which they had first entered, and many He did defeat in various measure, but instead of simply sorting through and tossing out the debris of remains He considered the significance and determined that this world had grown much bigger still; but in a marvelous way. As long as men were immune from the control of these beings they had the power through Him to affect them for the betterment of both. 

Death became a conjuncture for opportunity and change. Every atom resumed its purpose - perhaps contributing to differing manifestations of the ideal within, yet qualified and glorified through a resurrected life. This also brought about great abilities in men for change in general. 

When our natures are carried and nurtured through repetition, it is difficult for the will of any being to find a comprehension for newness to be welcome. Newness itself would be exceedingly painful if it were not for the joy and creativity of Christ. Newness would be unacceptable to us, an anathema of all that has gone before, yet now because of His incorporating influence, we can meet newness with anticipation, excitement and hope and not be fearful of the unknown. Herein now is freedom for Man. Through Christ we are not only given the freedom to choose, but also the choices to choose from! 

The old world before Him, even though was conformed by Him, did not in its evolution hold provision for much change. The cycles, the rounds and the races were merely recanting what had gone before - only at the point of the Incarnation did we start up from where we left off; and now to find a newer road again! 

When it came to the internal happenings within the individual himself, there were also the choices which were his to make. You see, you cannot have freedom without choices - lawful choices - choices that the Heavens say are all right and perhaps perfect, blessed in every one of them - not just one way or one life for you to have.

Should you choose to be a good Muslim or a good Buddhist wholeheartedly, and this resounds with a commonsense of the highest order, and respects the brotherhood within your humanity and resolves the drives for spirituality, and commissions the inspirations through a devotion which is lively, then it is a choice from Christ to you that you may take, and at the same time be close to Him. You see there would be no point at all if there was a conformity called for, which only offered one good choice amongst many bad ones. 

Often there is a concept that Father God and Christ live by entrapment, that they would put before us an evil choice to wait and see if we are to make the wrong one, as some measure of test to see if we would go down the false path etc. But to what good purpose would this be? Surely it is infinitely more loving and wise to put before your beloved several good choices, if you concur with freedom existing at all. There can be no freedom if there is only one good choice in anything or everything. 

Spattered over the hillside - that border where Hell met the Earth at the feet of the Cross - glopped black blood from the tangle of forms that had turned now upon themselves. Rarely in such numbers, but common to the drama of their own, after their lusty entanglements, they would bludgeon and suck off each other's pain. The picture presenting to a man would be frightful indeed, but amongst the specter spectators there was even a hideous enthusiasm in the watching of this dark circus.

To our Christ it was a nonsense; and an intolerable one, concerning His beloved World and its comprise. He had watched men and women, now that were terrified of the conditions within the physical existence. He had seen firsthand just how close He was to losing it all to a foul idiocy, and His Sadness could never have been the greater.

Good men often quandary over what it is to make the right decision, assuming that there is only one which is correct and to be preferred. Life however, presents so many anomalies stacked one upon another, and so many conflicting streams of consideration (all well-founded and with good beginnings) that often it is a situation where there is no one right decision to be had, but many. 

Once again the Heavens urge us to respond to the freedom that Christ offers us in realizing this, and not needing to establish ourselves or our thinking so dogmatically as to try to maintain that:

1. a) there is only one good choice ever, and
2. b) you have chosen it.

Literally we are more often than not 'making the best of a bad situation' - which in a lesser form is the process of resurrection working within us. This is not to say that a bad situation is an evil one by any means, but something which has gone bad has deteriorated or tired, and needs to be changed because its condition challenges us. 

Through Christ we can find a relief from ourselves and our narrowness when we begin to appreciate the many freedoms there are for ourselves and our friends alike. Evolution used to insinuate a predetermined outcome from which there was only one choice; and without that choice one was left behind and discarded by that unsympathetic stream, just as the beings were cast off into the 'depths' of our earthly life, out from their own domains.

When we go to the Cross and we sit at His Feet, we can take to Him all that we have and do hope to be. It is intimate because He Knows us, and also He holds Visions for our future which we have not glimpsed yet. Good things. Good choices. Good futures.

The wailing and the screeching ceased - silence as all of a sudden. Many minds were bent on what was seen, many twisted faces turned to witness what before was beyond their consideration. 

Ghosts of the human dead had gathered around the figure of Christ. Whilst His Body remained there, sorely attached as it was on the Cross, His Form could be seen sitting amongst the dead a little way over from the hellish border. 

Illuminated softly, yet brightly also, there appeared to be many hundreds of individuals surrounding Him, and the impression was added to this that they in turn were somehow connected to many hundreds each besides. So it went on, and He by Presence and in quiet mind, was solemnly communicating each with one singly and yet meeting with all at the same time. 

There was not just one emissary, but many from ages that had past. He took counsel as well as gave counsel, and although the physical time had time to it, He made time and it was very lengthy.

Amongst the brightly lit crowd were also beings of immaculate beauty. Invited and of supplicating comfort, these figures were the planetary spirits of Virtue and Grace, adorned with an integrity of quality which was magnificent to watch amongst the crowding of souls. If you could have seen, you would have seen the auric egg of the ego light in places about each man and woman, illuminating stars within their own complex sheath, just to be in the vicinity of one of these beings of Virtue - as their own heavenly worlds responded.

It could not have helped but to make a lasting impression on the demonic community as they watched on. They had not captured the attention of our Christ for very long, and nor had they seen what they had come to see, for their own forecasts had been dark and stupid - they had wished for ill and divined by their own limitations nothing good.

However, they did become open, just briefly, to finding circumstance beyond their own reckoning, which was intriguingly different. It brought pain to them to acknowledge goodness, but also the beginnings of great healing to follow.

Even the most wretched and evil of beings can be spoken to by Christ and offered possibility for something more, something different and something better. They were not annihilated, they were not even overcome, and the change was almost imperceptible, but a seed nonetheless for a growing goodness.

Evolution did no longer merely entitle itself, but now within His Homogeny has entitled Man to a freedom within it, whilst also endeavoring to care for the kingdoms above and below His regard.

For this we thank Christ for His great Consideration, Labor, Enthusiasm and Love, working for a future that exceeds the past and the present, with great choices and true freedom to make the best of possibilities so known!

Amen

Peter & James

PETER and James were arguing over who it was that Jesus loved best. They decided they would go to Him and ask.

"Which of the two of us do you love best?" they scowled.

"John" said Jesus - to which he added laughing - "only joking".

Two Fairies

TWO fairies were fighting over a flower pot. The mistress of the household had secured a plant, taking it from the garden, resettling it into a decorative urn. With this new immigrant came also its companion-planted fairy, that had now unwittingly happened into the territory of a very spiteful spindly limbed creature, who protested the new arrival of both.

The defensive householder fairy had not seen much of the outdoors in quite a few decades. An elemental being, whose consciousness was now defined within the walls of this house, was prideful of each placement of treasured article; ever watching over the comings and the goings. You could often see her chasing the walls, taking an inventory repeatedly. Now, here came this being from the garden! Swanning in upon a couch of green fern! Idle! Carefree! And enjoying the newly acquired decorator plant pot in her lounge room!!!

A week or so later the plant began to fail. At first it appeared to be lacking just water, but it was more than that - being mournful in consideration of the sadness for its partner in being, who too was fading in this lounge room. 

Disparaged and forlorn, the unwanted immigrant longed for the garden she had come from. She despaired from the tirades of the protective objectionable other. Possibly her worst day came when the liquid fertilizer was administered. All the while the household creature spat and screamed at her, wailed and complained, and stamped her tiny foot, doing all that she could for the tempers to succeed and evacuate her from the house.

Well the plant was returned to the soil, even though by all appearances there wasn't much hope, considering its dry brown frailty. However, after a rain or two and a morning elixir, both the creature and its living greenness were restored.

Some time after, the mistress of the house became quite ill herself. One said that it was something she had 'caught' and another speculated that she had simply 'run herself down', but the larger truth of it was that the agitated fairy had overbearingly affected her good nature, by proximity and through relationship, infecting the house and its owner with a sickness of soul.

The mistress, of course, had ever been prideful of her house in the past. But now, due to the illness, had not the strength to keep it tidy and did not even appreciate, as before, the adorning placements. The knick-knacks were no longer an inspiration to her. The curtains looked depleted, and she preferred them now open, to the fabric's pattern as before. Yes, the window with its aspect in the garden appealed to her much more now, than what the inside had to offer. 

Her home became a confine to her, and not the 'palace' she had once felt it to be. She, like the ferny fairy, longed to be outside; longed to move away from the materialism she once had built her life around.

While she slept, the householder fairy busied herself, including the woman in her inventory check, satisfying herself that she remained housebound - telling herself that this was because she loved her so much. And the mistress dreamed, yet woke too tired to recall the better parts of these dreams, seeing only the dull and troubled mirror of her life.

Now and then the garden fairy would shy up to the window and look in. She understood this sickness herself, and wished for the woman the healing she had known. She called upon her friends and sought for help.

Three days later there was a visitor at the door. Under his arm was a brown paper bag with a fruit bun within, and in the other hand a tissue-clad bouquet of flowers. Every flower, every stem with bud, had a living child of virtue - a rosy faced, violet eyed fairy - a congregation of happiness.

When she got better, as bettered she did, the gentleman visitor returned and took her to many places. Some were scenic nature-type places and some were other buildings and houses which naturally were different to her own. 

She later was to move in with him - took a few books with her, but for the bulk of the furniture, ornaments and so forth, she gave it all away to coveting relatives and neighbors, finally relinquishing the remains to a garage sale.

On moving day, when the house was emptied and suitably cleaned, she took one last look through the doorway into the vacant lounge room. She did not know how long to reminisce, what was an appropriate time to say goodbye … and could not have consciously realized or seen the little figure in the corner, that she was, at least in part, saying goodbye to. You see, the householder fairy could not go with her, it came with the house. It could not bring itself to venture outside of those doors, for it was not within that tiny nature that was her.

That afternoon a removalist's truck edged its bulk into the driveway. Clattering down the ramp came a variety of treasures, cramming into the house, being placed here and there - new nails on the walls, boxes with neatly wrapped packages - here, for our fairy, was a new inventory to be made and accounted for!