The Holy Man's Trials 16

15

16. Spiritual pain experienced (unconsciously, but effectively) when perceptions bring us to the incomplete, the out-of-place, the un-beautiful, the out-of-tune, the almost-but-not-quite; the untruth; the terrible fit, out-of-whack, the off-balance and the moral dilemma.

This aspect of our day-to-day disquiet is not about complaint or shortcomings as they were discussed before, but rather to explain a spiritual reality we all live with in fractional perception. In this instance our sensory organs do not quite keep step with their spiritual counterparts, however for the spiritually attuned the miniscule becomes quite obvious and when something is understood to be 'off' 'out' or unbeautiful, it actually offends our sense of morality. 

There is actually a moral context to the inept that we come to know. Added to this there is a spiritual pain which is subliminal but there (all of the time) in relation to all of the incongruities. Our spiritual senses are jarred continuously; our 'wisdom teeth' are set on edge!

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The Holy Man's Trials 15

14

15. Repulsion and upset on behalf of Christ and humanity as all of this is reacted to.

We do not always react merely out from the sense of ourselves and causal danger and distaste, but with the righteous indignation which is also very real. In this instance we are rehearsed in trying to identify with Christ and with humanity, and begin to act in the third person, so to speak.

Essentially we do have Christ within us, and within Him we do incorporate the whole of Humanity as well, however this indignation we experience does not come exactly from the corporate suffering, but more from what we perceive it might be. Sometimes it is easier to express our upsets in larger terms with greater causes, to minimize the personal application. Once again this appears to be a mechanism of the good man, who not only begins to translate small principles into greater ones, but also, in defense of himself, goes out to defend the world at large. This is understandable and part of the deal.

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The Holy Man's Trials 14

13

 14. Repulsion for self when devils are sensed and disturb the consciousness with their untoward interjections.

Conversational devils flex our decidings daily, many, many, times over. As further along the man becomes, the more he begins to differentiate these voices which interrupt his thinking with dastardly remarks. Pointy-nosed, spindly and lean, they probably do not mean the harm that they cause. 

These elemental beings believe themselves to be authorities on all matters, but with characteristically bitter tongues. They crowd around the goodly man for they take a certain pleasure in the light he creates, yet as their own natures are contested they impinge upon the thinking with a provoking criticism which is hard, unkind and insensitive to the human condition.

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The Holy Man's Trials 13

12

13. Repulsion for individuals who invite devils into themselves and forsake their higher natures by such terrible compromise.

This repulsion is instinctual yet often compromised by those who imbibe certain devils themselves (such as with alcohol). It does not mean to say that the folk around us are possessed by demons to the point of losing all self-consciousness, however and disturbingly, one would be surprised to know the number of the population who are not given marginally to one devil or another which suppresses their Christ-given nature. 

The more sensitive and 'open' a man becomes by living cleanly, the greater his difficulty is with the presence of those who do not, for it pains him on behalf of the afflicted, and is causal to a collective physical sickness in the world which intuitively he picks up upon.

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The Holy Man's Trials 12

11

12. A despair and trepidation for those individuals who knowingly cause harm, upset or injury to another living being.

On a deeper level again this refers to the fact that over the course of many lifetimes we have encountered actions of men which were inhumane and evil. Experience has taught us of this possibility which is perhaps of the greatest sadness; and also in all probability there was at one time or another a pocket of such cruelty that we ourselves played out in some horrible way. And of course it cannot be abided in any way now. 

For the Christian man this element of dark humanity is very real to him - one of the nastiest ghosts and ever apparent. It is distinct from the Double and even separate to just the personal experience also - rather an occult phenomenon of such anti-man which is known behind the worldly cruelties. There is little good which comes from speaking of this element, this apparition, but suffice to say that the great Masters are aware of him, and the further along one becomes, the greater the disgust and trepidation.

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The Holy Man's Trials 11

10

11. An annoyance and despair at the unconscionable acts of fellow individuals who cause harm and upset to others thoughtlessly. 

It is quite immediate that we react disfavorably to difficult people who cause harm to others without care. More than citing specific instances, it becomes in us yet another burden borne unconsciously - the fact that we have been sadly affected on account of another for the sake of another, many times over. This helps of course to caution our own activities in the world, but it nonetheless lives with us as a fact of being.

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The Holy Man's Trials 10

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10. An annoyance and despair at the perpetuation of shortcomings as are apparent in fellow individuals which afflict the personal wellbeing of oneself.

Often we are well qualified in discerning when another has interrupted our own sense of wellbeing and should not have done so; and in consequence to this complaint we suppress ourselves further in order to reconcile their actions as they affect us. So there is a dual-edged insult from the difficulties which sometimes afflict us from others. That firstly they have caused a grievance and then secondly they require that he (in the spiritual fellow) suppresses himself in order for him to let it pass or repeatedly happen. 

Overall however, we do react at least inwardly to afflictions most naturally and know exactly what effect others bear upon us, either consciously or unconsciously. It is advisable to excuse yourself from their company or their life if the problem becomes as death to yourself. How often a sensitive individual will, for example, scar himself at the suggestion of the offending 'martyr'. 

It is best to avoid unruly people - those who display crude or lesser natures or willful angry outbursts. Whilst we may pray for their lives to find some equilibrium we do not need to incur the cost upon our own selves in the disruption it causes. This passage best serves to alleviate the guilt which protests our right to experience disquiet when we are affected sorely. Isn't it a conundrum that this is so difficult to the developing man?

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The Holy Man's Trials 9

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9. An annoyance and despair at supreme shortcomings (physicality for example, as opposed to immortality) consciously or unconsciously experienced by the individual. 

Supreme shortcomings are those things which are much larger than one's own immediate effectings…They engage debates about fundamental good and evil. They realize imperfection in the greater arena and are perplexed because of it.

This is a sadness known to all beings as well; although some happenings may be explained to be as 'mysteries' beyond our comprehension - but such explanations do not relieve the pain caused by the misunderstanding. The fact that there is a small proportion of infants born with disfigurement, that Nature herself cannot guarantee or safeguard against untoward outcome for lesser creatures at times; the reality that truth itself can be distorted so very easily and or mistaken; that we should ever contemplate our Christ crucified and it having happened! - These supreme shortcomings we cannot ever be content in or would want to be. 

The fact that we live and survive however, with the innate knowledge of these matters and more, tells us of a greater and corresponding strength we have been given to counter the confusion presented to our soul.

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The Holy Man's Trials 8

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8. An annoyance and despair at personal shortcomings consciously recognized.

No individual is comfortable at being less than what he aspires to or begins to think he should be. The ego which is striving consciously to become improved, senses deeply, not only the obvious faults and flaws but also the ones for which there is little or no control over. Even the implications of aging (as the world would have it nowadays - yes, even for us) are a grievance taken personally, when there is no conceivable way of abating it indefinitely. 

Added to this we find frustrations with minor shortcomings as they manifest during the contest of our consciousness. There is a process of thinking which implies that we are never quick enough, precise enough and so forth (which of course is true enough). 

However, the merit lies in the actuality as is, rather than in some relatively unreachable or obscure perfection. The truth we come to experience here is that we are suffering from our shortcomings (as others might also) and we begin to wish it were otherwise. The objective is to be content regardless, yet not smug in our failings.

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The Holy Man's Trials 7

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7. An exaggerated projection as to the possibility of further evil becoming in existence, which is larger than what is already perceived. 

This paranoia is of course deleterious to the deciding individual, but once again is very much of consequence to the condition as described above. The way in which one can tell number six from number seven is by measure of our idealism. 

The devilish forces would have one believe that failure will predominate outcome, whilst the heavenly forces only ever encourage and envisage the best of all possible outcomes; and even though they may well comprehend the threatening fearfulness of evility along the way, are not given in to conceding to that evility winning at the end of it all.

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The Holy Man's Trials 6

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6. An increased fearfulness in proportion and reaction to this bulk of evil that is now becoming more and more apparent to the developing soul.

This fearfulness is secondary (just as with the example of the inherent guilt which is faceless and less exact than any particular reality)… it is most definitely founded, and perhaps this is why it is so very hard upon the individual to carry.
The reality of evil is nothing short of dread-full - and dread being dread, we are naturally abhorred and affrighted by even its mention. This too is of consequence to the soul who awakes into the developing awareness of the importance of our Christ in the World and in our beings. It is suffered by every goodly creature, and there is no need to feel a compounded guilt at the fact that we do know this condition also.

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The Holy Man's Trials 5

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5. An increased perception of evil as it exists invisibly within the local world.

Sadly for the man who begins by reaching out for a beatified state of soul, he is more than likely to meet with the contrasting knowledge (even if it is subliminal to him) of the slovenly forces about within his very locality. This is a natural depression, which is not all-consuming but is known to be something which again he can mistake to be himself when it is not.

Part of our developing sensitivity requires times of abstraction out from the very experience we seek to attune ourselves with. It is not only an important exercise of ego that we should be able to withdraw back into our arterial sense of our own triune nature, but also that we may have a larger rather than partial perception of that we are experiencing.

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The Holy Man's Trials 4

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4. An irreconcilable upset with the awareness of these Doubles as they present in others.

This occurs when the Doubles actually contest ourselves or our own good credibility and we do know it. 

Often the awareness of a Double excites it into action. There is an astral transaction between the two and the individual feels pressured into reacting defensively; or guardedly at the very least.

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The Holy Man's Trials 3

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3. An increasing awareness of the Doubles as they exist in others.

As we develop, our natural clairvoyance presents us with difficult truths, and the first presentation can often be the 'Demon at the Gate', so to say. Unnerving and distracting, the sensitive man has difficulties with that of his own Double, let alone the prospect of a veritable and terrible army of them!

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The Holy Man's Trials 2

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2. An inherent guilt at the very company and nature of this Double.

This is distinct from the above in that it goes on to become a generalized and all pervading gloom about oneself, infiltrating the self-esteem and blocking the will, inhibiting the ego. It is interesting that even the darkest of individuals will seek to shaft off their Double… imagine the pain of the self-conscious man who seeks betterment for himself and the world, trying to reconcile its existence!

 

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The Holy Church & the Holy Man's Trials- 10th September 2001

Trembling, Courage & Soothing

Holy Sanctuary,

Carer, instructor,

Deliverer of the Sacraments,

High example of all heavenly and worldly virtue;

Fount of charity,

Both in distribution of physical property,

But more importantly in the element of conduct;

Guardian and distributor of spiritual and devotional knowledge -

Acknowledged with Reason,

Unimpinged by dogma or exclusivity;

A home dedicated to the living Christ,

And His entire Family;

Perpetuate to His Law,

His Being,

And His Incarnation within Man.

Conveyor of the Spiritual Worlds,

Emissary for the Physical World;

Respecter and receiver for the angelic realms;

Party to attendant beings;

Prayer, counsel and remembrance for the dead;

Vessel of purity, encouraging to the downcast;

Promoting striving and working,

For the transformation of worldly matter;

Convoy of courage,

Defiant to all doubts warring against the spirit;

Defender for all children,

The weak, the sick and the disadvantaged;

Ennobling men from demons,

Unresponsive to their cause or chaos;

Chartered by divinity, yet with community consent;

Infertile to bickerings, disputes and unkind intent - displayed or hidden;

Appealing to all three commodities:

The past, the future, and the present.

Passion of the Saints made real,

Art-divine, relished in beauty and in musical theme;

Construct eternal -

Bringing something out from nothing, again and again;

Hope-child of the gods, and Love of the Father of All;

Welcomer to the higher senses now awakening,

Becoming and responding,

Synchronically with the world;

Taming the imaginations,

Perceiving intuition alongside discrimination;

Ceasing all superstition,

Calming, supporting, making healing,

And explaining the Living Doctrines as made manifest in actual Love.

The beloved and blessed Church has long tried the impossible; given the circumstances and conditions it has attempted to work within. Therein is perhaps the greatest beauty of this hard-worn face… that amongst the grim and difficult traits within and without it, the surfactant which has predominated has been one of the greatest courage - deliberate and knowing of the vast trials there exist before it.

Those who feel closest to Christ often bear His pain and hardship within their own soul-life as well. The very forces which are not dissimilar to a dense and toxic smog, are known unconsciously by the religious - who feel their chest compacted, their heart tightened, their heads muddied, their limbs weighted, by this undercurrent of astral mire which we wade in amongst continually. 

There becomes a unique and definite hardship the Christian soul adopts, along with the rest of the complement which he must also carry within himself. We shall explain this effect later, but firstly to follow with some concerns detailed, we may begin a list in the hope that this will assist as a means to identifying these hardships, giving chance and opportunity to soothe some of the aggravations through the means of that very naming.

1. An increasing awareness of the presence of one's own Double.

As the devout man grows in spiritual sensitivity this figure may become quite oppressive to him. There are many shades of guilt which are unconsciously taken to himself, from what his own Double has projected. He may superimpose this perception onto his own sense of goodness (in never really being good enough - which of itself is not a sound motivation for further development); or he may go on to perceive it (his own Double) in others and project it outwardly into their behavior.

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Face of Lucifer- 7th September 2001

AS the Light shines on the countenance of the old planetary face, it illumines one and then the other. New moon, old moon, old moon, old moon.

The demons, small and senior, enter this planet via the runway of the Moon. Their substance, their habitat, comes in from the past and deceased conditions, which because of the decaying frame now, allows for their consumption. They do not live in the regions of the Earth. They dance and grope around its periphery. 

The light from the Spiritual Sun releases them into activity. Seemingly, out from Christ comes Lucifer, in that His radiant Being makes the face of Lucifer known as it lights its countenance - having adhered itself to the Moon and its vicinity.

He (Lucifer) is not THE LIGHT, but lives out from this Light, His Light, Christ's Light, and is brought forth by it, is carried with it, and does show all of his treasures by that same light.

(There are portals of entrance, departure and waiting in all realms.)

The Little Mass (The calling for the Redemption of the World through us.)

FOR this there is to be a collection of crumbled and dry cake, bread, biscuit or grain-mix which is later to have the chalice contents poured and mixed into it, from which individuals will take from the platen at the end.

To pick up the moistened crumbs with the thumb and the finger of index finger of the hand of the will [dominant hand] is an important part of the activity - in a conscious and deliberate manner, taking what is offered. This is of course, is not obligatory. No man or woman should take Communion when inwardly hesitant. Come in joy or not at all, for to come only for sake of duty pains the Heavens. Though sincere, the action of duty without joy works against itself and thus injures the man and the world he strives to love.

The trees do not climb out towards the heavens because of duty, but rather through the love found mutually in the warmth, the sunlight, the ethers, the waters, they respond to. To know this life and love firsthand requires an inner honesty of self, and though an assumption of holiness can be vital to everyday activities, it can be a dangerous pretence when assumed in matters which are required to be genuine. Routine and repetitive ritual can enhance the properties of devotion for a variety of reasons, however the spiritual occurrence which is of the highest significance depends upon the very pivot of self from which the individuals themselves work out from. 

This divinity of self within requires to be livingly connected with the spiritual endeavor at hand, and is in peril if for whatever reason the timing or connection is not feeling right, or with the joy one would expect and most hope for in this prayerful calling.

Duty alone cannot speak to the soul of the participant or administrant, because one is at risk of overriding the better instincts in respect to the subtle exchanges which are required. If for example, the administrant himself is unwell in faith on the day, or unsavory in temperament and spiritually contaminating the contents of longed-for remedy, and intuitively one knows this and is dissuaded from engaging in this Communion, then it is by far preferable that the individual cease there and then and return on a more fortuitous occasion.

Equally so, if there are conditions within the individual, non-specific but calling out a hesitation, the intuition here asks us to listen, the spirit requires our attention, and it is unrealistic to take our higher nature into a place it does not want to go. You cannot deny yourself in the same moment you seek to fulfill yourself. If you are not responsive to your own soul's indications you have effectively silenced it from participation.

We may go to the altar in sadness, as oft do, but there will be a higher joy apparent though, that knows that Father God is there with us to soothe and smile and answer that pain.

This learning to respect our intuitions and loves is an important knowing for the man who cares not for himself at the expense of himself; because primarily his soul will die if it tries to be all self perpetuating. Stifling the true soul for the sake of 'duty' is a false economy of spiritual performance. Real food, real substance, real love - both given and returned, is imperative - discernments that we might acknowledge firsthand, what is to be hoped-for for every man within the world to come.

There certainly is little point living for and acting out pretence. Pretence also disappoints the spiritual worlds terribly (and lets down the company you are with as well.) A Mass that is empty of the lively connection we describe, truly saddens the beings that attend. Men can become like withered flowers when the ritual becomes routine and their own selves are quashed out of the event that they dearly should have been so present in, were that it was the correct place or company for them to have been in.

Therefore it is vital for a man or woman to attend that meeting with precisely the company of souls they best resonate with, so that the insecurity of insincerity will not dissuade them from their spiritual paths and connectings that should be.

The Little Mass (Part Three)

Christ, the Divining,

Specific to each bit and part,

Christ, the Combining,

Adherent to the Whole,

Presently bearing the weight of the World,

Current in singularity,

Ennobling the distinct and the different,

In the consciousness,

In the wakefulness,

In desires both known,

And then answered.

Represented in skilful contrast,

Represented in both great and gentle beauty,

Represented in belief's courage and realized triumphs,

In a synergy of prolapsed nerves, nourishing experience,

From star life into this world.

Insoluble Water present, represent our Heavenly Father,

With now our Christ that is the Greater,

Present, represent in the forces of the substance introduced,

And now empowered within,

Be also intelligent to this mass,

And binding, making one piece,

That Combined, we have a great and glorious corporation,

Made saturate with Your Love.

Bring forth the attributes one by one,

In a divine likeness, to that of Your own,

In realization to a far greater consistency …

(Here the fluid is mingled with the crumbs and patted into a flat cake to be apportioned out.)

Surveyor of the Living Laws,

Creator of the heart's impulse,

This now before us: our meal made holy,

As Divine and Perfect remedy,

To all that is needed and yearned for,

Within and without,

This world and ourselves,

This confabulation of greater and lesser stuff,

Is verily the labor and produce of Yours,

Dear Christ,

Upheld by Our Father.

I hold now these offerings,

And ask of thee great Charity,

That we, Oh Christ, may take them today,

Humbly into ourselves - and this World,

And inoculate against all harm,

Revivified by what You Give,

Accomplished in Your Grace,

Subject what is of death to rest,

That new life might survive into furtherance,

And new love shall be born of this Life.

Out from my heart's own reasoning,

My soul's wisdom,

My ego's freedom,

I speak these words,

To You now:

"Become in Me,

Your Love in Me,

That I also Love well,

And full realizing what this means,

For myself and the world,

By all that is Christ,

Upheld by our Father."

Greater Life to Life,

I have the World,

I am the World,

And out from the Chalice,

Singing forth from my throat,

I will name my sweet hopes:

(All attending speak, before taking the meal:)

"Become in Me,

Your Love in Me,

That I also Love well,

And full realizing what this means,

For myself and the world,

By all that is Christ,

Upheld by our Father."

Amen

The Christened Mass (The Creation of the World within Man)

(Using the same Chalice with remaining contents, now grape juice is dropped into it at the indicated moment. This is to be squeezed from fresh grapes, or if this is not possible, bottled grape juice which has not been reconstituted … approx. one drop per person, water ratio 100-1,000 parts more. If grape juice is not available dissolved honey may be added into the cup at a slightly higher ratio proportionate to the dilution.)

Divine and Cosmic Christ,

Keeper of Time and of all times yet to be,

Ever present in the eternal moment,

Ever present to all unknown elements,

Presiding thoroughly and completely;

Presiding in naivety (the vacant space predisposed to a knowing),

Presiding in ingenuity,

Current to all that is currency.

Represented by Man,

And the stars that comprise him,

In the Consciousness,

In the Wakefulness,

In grand and purposeful discovery.

Represent in actuality,

In permanence, in substance and substantiality,

This Earth made real.

Represent in creativity,

And that harmonious homogeny,

Working in cooperate corporate joy,

In a synergy of sympathetic, causal mind.

Insoluble Water, into which now receives,

The earthly, the etheric and the starry substance,

Of this Earth, from soil into light.

(Grape juice is now added.)

Of this world, the etheric light of life,

Of the outer planets, of the starry body of Christ,

Cooperative and enlivened,

Active and obedient,

Waiting watchfully for His Will.

And in Divine Countenance,

Be true to Him.

Conveyor of the unfurling Worlds,

Respondent to all, each heart of every being sustained,

This before us, this substance,

Quickens within the empowering water therein,

As Divine and Perfect remedy,

To all that is distracted, fragmented, devastated by sin,

This World becomes in us through Christ,

And this most precious of substances, your Blood,

As it surged upon the soil and thus permeated the world.

I hold now these bleedings,

And ask of thee Christ,

That we may take them today,

Redeemed into the well of beloved tears,

Humbly into ourselves and this World,

And inoculate against all further harm,

Revivified by what You Give,

Accomplished in Your Grace,

Subjecting what is of death to rest,

That new love might survive into furtherance.

Out from the font of deep gratitude I speak these words to You now:

"Be in Me,

Create in Me,

As I Love You,

Christ our Creator,

Upheld by our Father."

Greater Life to Life,

I now become the World,

And out from the Chalice,

Spilling forth from my being,

I will call these words:

(All attending, before taking the cup to drink.)

"Be in Me,

Create in Me,

As I Love You,

Christ our Creator,

Upheld by our Father."

Amen

A Three-part Celebration of Communion- 19th August 2001

“Across the Sea, I Am the Sea”

As bodies go, the one body of water which infills and permeates and plumps this Globe, that one body in whole and in part, amassed and in droplet, humidified, rarefied or made solid and crystallized - that one body feels Nature from the inside.

Can you picture that body now as it extends out amongst the ethers, with same fluidic flowing, in flat, in wave, out from the membranes of this world? Same body, same water.

It never really was the chalice but the contents. See now the chalice of the world spill into the greater World beyond. See the cup empty over, forming a never-ending fount rupturing itself out into the open, bubbling and driving up, carried by an inner velocity, reuniting itself with the Cosmic Sea...

The Cosmic Mass (Acknowledging & Naming His Presence)

(The chalice water - distilled water with several drops of seawater included, and if not seawater, then fresh rainwater added also.)

Divinity Pure, withstanding and withstood,

Present in particular

Present in the novice life,

Present in antiquity's knowing,

Current in all numbers equaling You,

Represented in holy striving,

In the consciousness,

In the wakefulness,

In solemn quietude,

Represent in holy fervors, endeavors,

Imaginations that expire the old knowledge,

Freeing them into new form, new meaning, new consequence.

Represent in the raptures of combining,

The honest and enlightened intimacies,

In synergy of corresponding spheres.

Insoluble Water, the Liquid Wisdom as is,

Fluidic breath to all cavities,

Intelligent to all qualities,

Obeisant and endowing,

Furthering sequentially in true and natural progression -

As wisdom does,

According to the attributes calling

In a divine likeness to that of their own,

In realization of a greater consistency.

Conveyor of the Living Reason,

Respondent to the Heart of Hearts,

This before us, contained and waiting,

As Divine and Perfect remedy,

To all that is wanting within and without

This world and ourselves;

This most precious of substances,

Is verily the tears of Yours dear Father God.

I hold now these weepings,

And ask of thee Father,

That we may take them today,

Humbly into ourselves and this World,

And inoculate against all harm,

Revivified by what You Give,

Accomplished in Your Grace,

Subject what is of death to rest,

That new life might survive into furtherance.

Out from the fount of the throat I speak these words

To You now:

"Be in Me,

Create in Me,

As I Love You,

Dearest and best,

Father God."

Greater Life to Life,

I am the World,

And out from the Chalice,

Spilling forth from my throat,

I will call these words:

(All attending, before taking the cup to drink)

"Be in Me,

Create in Me,

As I Love You,

Dearest and best,

Father God."

Amen

Part 2